Love || Tom Kaulitz

Reflection of a man i could be

"Tom it is now your turn to read your vows" the man spoke.

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Toms POV

I unfolded the paper tucked in my pocket. Sniffling the lingering tears as I looked at the first line. I looked back up to Ashley with a deep breath and looked back at my paper before beginning to read.

"In quiet moments, I find myself haunted by the ghosts of my past—the mistakes, the betrayals, the shattered trust that I inflicted upon you, the woman who captured my heart in ways I never imagined possible. I didn't believe I deserved love. Especially love like yours.

I remember the day she walked away from me, her words filled with hurt and disappointment. Her 3 words "I love you" lingered for months. I lay in that hospital bed, hopeless, my body broken but my spirit shattered even more. Yet her 3 words pushed me to recovery. I couldn't bring myself to face the world outside, drowning in regret. How could I have hurt her, someone I loved so deeply the one person who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself?

When I saw her again, months later, I wanted to push her away—to protect her from the darkness that threatened to consume me. I didn't deserve her forgiveness, I didn't deserve her love. But fate, it seemed, had other plans.

We found ourselves trapped together in a hellish nightmare, believing each other dead. In those moments of despair, as I thought I had lost her forever, the weight of my regrets threatened to suffocate me.

When we finally escaped together, the relief overshadowed the overwhelming guilt I carried. But Ashley, with her strength and compassion, showed me a glimmer of hope—a path to redemption through her forgiveness.

The birth of our son, Eli, was a beacon of light in the darkness. As I held him in my arms, I saw echoes of Ashley's beauty and resilience mirrored in his innocent eyes. He became my reason to strive for better, to confront the demons that had haunted me for so long.

Our hearts fill with anticipation. We will soon meet our second child—a moment of pure joy I've longed for. I imagine their laughter, their tiny fingers wrapped around mine. The responsibility of fatherhood fills me with a deep sense of purpose and love.

Fatherhood is hard, I remember in the hospital when Ashley told me we had lost the baby in the accident. I lay hopeless wanting to comfort her. Though my body was paralysed and she had already left.

After finding out she was pregnant with twins but lost one my heart ached. I looked for happiness in it all. Yet I wonder what it would have been like having two Elijahs running around. Would they be identical? Would they get along?

Ashley fixed me in ways I never thought were possible. Her love, though tested and scarred, was a lifeline that pulled me from the depths of despair. Through her eyes, I saw the reflection of a man I could be—a man worthy of her love, a man capable of forgiveness and redemption.

Our love, though forbidden by circumstance and scarred by betrayal, proved our love was unbelievably strong. She has taught me that love is not just about passion and desire—it's about sacrifice, forgiveness, and the courage to confront our deepest fears.

Today, as we stand together, our family whole and our hearts healed, I carry with me the lessons learned from our journey. I regret every tear she shed, every scar she has, every moment of fear I caused her. But I also cherish the forgiveness she granted me, the second chance she gave us. Though everything I have put her through, I don't deserve her.

Ashley, my forbidden love, you've been my light through the darkest times. Thank you for teaching me the true depths of love and forgiveness. Our journey together is proof that love can overcome any obstacle, no matter how daunting."

I slowly folded my paper as a cry left my chest. I looked into Ashley's perfect brown eyes as her mascara ran down her cheeks. I smiled softly before stepping forward and grabbing her waist. I leaned down and kissed her gently leaving a smile on her face.

"Hold up you two" the marriage celebrant spoke. "That was beautiful".

I looked at him to see a few tears running down his cheeks. I looked at Ash and laughed a little before turning to our friends and family in front of us. I turned back to Ashley as she looked too. They were in shambles. I shrugged my shoulders smiling before turning to Eli.

Eli handed us the rings before we placed the gold bands on each other's ring fingers. I smiled holding her delicate hand in mine. I blocked out everything the celebrant was saying as I couldn't stop staring at her. She was too perfect. I didn't deserve her. I really didn't.

I never understood why she stayed but I was so happy she did.

Who would I be if I was never loved by her.

"Tom" her lips moved.

"Huh," I looked to the man. "I do.. Of course. I do".

"Okay then. You may now kiss the bride" the man spoke.

I turned to her, unable to contain the overwhelming rush of love and excitement. I stepped forward gently cupping her face in my hands, I searched her eyes for reassurance and found nothing, but love reflected back at me. In that moment, everything else faded away—the guests, the garden, the world itself—it was just Ashley and me, bound together in a love that defied all odds.

Leaning in, I pressed my lips to hers, a soft and tender kiss that spoke volumes of the promises we had made to each other. Her lips were warm and familiar against mine, a perfect fit that sent a shiver of pure joy down my spine. Time seemed to stand still as we savoured the moment.

As our kiss deepened, a sense of completeness washed over me. This was not just a kiss; it was a promise to stand by each other through every joy and sorrow that life would bring.

When we finally pulled away, the guests erupted into applause, celebrating our love and the beginning of our new chapter together. But in that brief moment, as Ashley and I gazed into each other's eyes, there was only the understanding that we had found our forever in each other's embrace.

"I love you" she spoke softly.

"I love you so much more" I replied taking her in my arms and spinning her around.