𝓵𝓸𝓶𝓵 - 𝒂 𝑻𝑨𝒀𝑽𝑰𝑺 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

A/N : heyy ! so I know I promised this to be up tommorow but something came up so im uploading it today. so sorry to keep you waiting !

March 17 , 2023

As of right now, I am seconds away from performing "Lover". I haven't been performing these past songs with as much energy as I probably should, but it's still been a good show to everyone, apparently.

"Welcome to The Eras Tour !" I said with a huge fake grin across my face.

By the time I got to the bridge I was already sort of a mess.Well, as much of a mess as you can be on stage. Playing this song live brought back too many memories that I didn't feel like or really want to unbox right now, or ever for that case.I wanted to leave right now, but I couldn't. I still had 30 something more songs I needed to play.

Kill me.

During the Fearless set I saw multiple people getting engaged.And instead of being happy for them like I normally would, I couldn't help but be a bit jealous and sorrowful. That was all I ever wanted.Would it have been that hard to just get down on one knee and say a few words?

Once again, I cried a bit during champagne problems.The breakup news was already out,but I didn't want anyone to see how much it was really affecting me.They didn't know the full story. They didnt know how he just ghosted me and left.They didn't know how I spent weeks not eating anything and just chugging bottles of wine on the kitchen floor as broken dish pieces cut through me.They didn't know how I let them.Cut through me,that is.

By the end of the show I was over everything and everyone. I wanted to go home and stay there for the rest of my life.But I couldn't, I had many,many shows ahead of this one.

That night,I stayed up for a while just thinking about everything.

I couldn't stay depressed and mourning the loss of a guy who never really ever loved me. I wouldn't let him haunt me, when this tour is supposed to be one of if not my best memories.

I might as well heal along with it.