𝓵𝓸𝓶𝓵 - 𝒂 𝑻𝑨𝒀𝑽𝑰𝑺 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚

The Day Is Gonna Come For Your Confessions Of Love

A/N : so I've been gone for an embarassing amount of time, but I promise you I have reasons !!

first of all, my parents found out about some texts I hadn't deleted with a guy back in May, and they were pissed. we never were anything, but my parents obviously didn't believe that lmao.

and my ED kinda came back for some time, and I kinda lost all of my motivation to do anything, so there's that. 

but i'm back with another chapter for you guys !! i'm still struggling a bit with food rn, but I'm trying my best lmao.

 hope you guys enjoy, love u !

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 7th, 2023

My re-recorded version of Speak Now was finally released last night, and I am overjoyed to say the least. My fans have been the kindest people and waking up to their reactions was pure top-tier comedy at its best.

Tonight I am playing at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. Which is most definitely not a particularly boring city to its residents, but I don't know anyone there, I'm all alone and it makes me a bit sad. I just want some company.

A few hours later, I am sitting in my dressing room, ready to head out when I have to. Gracie is performing at the moment and she's amazing, to say the least. Someone from my management comes out to tell me I'm on in five.

I make my way over to my starting position and get ready. Once the platform lifts me up, I make sure to go full performance mode.

"Welcome to The Eras Tour !" I shout joyfully, looking around the audience. I quickly go through my sets, including the Speak Now set, I added Long Live in, and seeing the swifties' reactions makes me so happy. Some emotional, some hyper. But all so sweet.

Taylor Lautner came out and did his thing, which is backflips, I guess. And I premiered the music video for I Can See You. It was a great show, overall. Definitely exceeding my expectations.

I made my way over to my dressing room and sat there, sort of contemplating every thing that happened in the last few hours.

Life was good, amazing.

Right ?

I couldn't feel alone, I had so many people behind me that would do anything for me, I wasn't alone, I knew that.

But I felt alone.

A tear slipped out of my eye as I reached for my notebook and pen. I began to write down everything I felt at the moment.

After a few minutes of drafting, and then of editing, I picked up my guitar and strummed freely for a bit, trying to find a melody that sounded right.

I picked my notebook back up and sang as I played, my voice raw, as well as my lyrics.

"...but I looked to the sky and said," I strummed the final chord and put my guitar down.

As I boarded my plane, I contemplated everything for a second.

Sure, I had my music.

Sure, I had been able to pour my feelings out into a song.

But that didn't change the fact that I was still alone.

Now, and maybe forever.

Suddenly, my mind flashed back to that dark night when I got home from the hospital and drank till I physically couldn't anymore.

Maybe I should've drank another bottle.

Maybe I should've let those pieces of glass cut sharper.

Maybe I should've picked up that blade again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kind of made taylor a bit too  depressed in this, and I'm actually deeply sorry for that lmao. 

Please leave a comment or two, they really motivate me and right now, I need all of the motivation I can get LMAOOO ! 

thank you sm for reading !