Without Her

Her Diary

I wish Ryuuko-chan could reopen the diary. Actually, thinking about it, I wish Nonon would have. Shiro, Uzu, Houka, and Gamagoori wouldn't think to. I suppose I am brave because I did read it. Honestly, I understand why they probably couldn't read it or, at least, read it in full. Besides being her private thoughts, I don't think they could have managed to keep from crying. As I said before, I was brave because I wanted to know.

I got to the first page. She didn't write too much, no, but she did have something to say.

September 1st,

I'd have to say that this is unexpected. I am mildly shocked but the test results came and my pregnancy is confirmed. I haven't told anyone yet, no, and I'm not sure how. Honestly, I don't know why I'm not sure how to tell everyone but I think it's because I don't know how they'll react. However, I do know that they'll be supportive most likely.

Concretely, I can say that the baby is staying. I don't know how I'd be as a mother but I do know that the baby is staying.

—Satsuki

Reading her diary was like having her talking to me all over again. In her diary, she talked about telling us, though she did wait until she was about three months along. That was an entry she bookmarked.....

December 12th,

It took about a month to work up the courage to tell everyone. I opted to tell them all one by one. Thus far, they were all rather shocked but so far supportive. I know that when my child comes into this world they'll likely be very loved.

The first one I opted to tell was Ryuuko. Growing up, we never shared in anything but I opted to make up for that by telling her she's going to be an aunt. I couldn't help but to giggle at her reaction, really. She was in shock and she couldn't initially believe it but I think the news sank in pretty quickly. She asked me if she's "Auntie" now and I told her, "Of course." The conversation quickly turned into whether or not I'm to have a boy or a girl to baby names. Her happiness is just adorable.

I wasn't sure how to tell Mako but I think Mako knew before I could tell her. "So, are you going to be a mommy?" she asked me. Smart one, she is, really, and I asked her as to how she guessed. She told me that it was because I was blushing. She guessed that I was about three months along and she could tell she was right because I blushed more. I don't know how she managed to contain her excitement.

I opted to let Houka ask me because he's been snooping through my browsing history and told me that I've been acting "unusually". I told him that, of course, I was because I am pregnant He was shocked and told me that he figured that Ryuuko or Mako would have a baby first. Frankly, I found that humorous. Life is full of surprises after all.

Uzu invited me for kendo like we used to and I told him that I couldn't. Not currently, no. He was perplexed, to which I told him why. "I can't spar with you while I'm with child, Uzu." I told him. The conversation had him asking what can I do while pregnant and I answered his questions honestly, though I reminded him that I have two left feet, though, maybe my baby doesn't.

The conversation with Ira was something. It was casual, like discussing the weather. I told him, promptly, that I was pregnant and he inquires about how I'm doing at the moment, to which I told him that I am fine, just happy is all. He asked how did previous four react and I told him as such but, mostly, I told him that Ryuuko is looking forward to being an auntie and that Houka should learn not to snoop so much (though, he didn't spoil the surprise).