My Henry

Untitled Part 4

Alex hears the key in the door of the Brownstone and takes the stairs two at a time "Hen.. he pulls up short at the sight of Pez resplendent in a lime green bomber jacket and a leather kilt.

"Alex darling, I didn't think you would be home. H asked me to pick up David and keep him for a bit, you know with your work and all... he said he would let you know" he added looking abashed.

"Oh.. right..,Alex breaths out, pushing his fingers through his hair, I haven't heard from him."his voice waivers "Pez who is Eido?"

"Oh... right, Pez looks uncomfortable under the question, Darling, Eido was a long time ago" and moves to Alex and engulfs him in a hug.

"That's not an answer Pez, please tell me I need to know what I am up against."

"Darling, Eido was Henry's first love, he was from a family that would summer with his parents, they were young and it was an intense summer fling, but the court found out and the Queen put a stop to it. This was just before he lost his father. I'm not sure he has ever really processed any of it."

Alex sits holding on to Pez, feeling like he has disassociated out of his body.

Henry texts later that day

"Have asked Pez to take David free you up for work and whatever.

I have decided to stay for a bit, see family, catch up with old friends. H"

Alex eye catches on the 'old friends' and it feels like he has been gut punched.

Alex texts back – "When are you coming home? and sees a text bubble start... and stop, no message follows.

Alex can't eat, can't sleep, Henry is everywhere, in the art on the walls, his shoes on the landing and the tea on the counter. The smell of him lingers on the sheets, fresh, earthy and clean so distinctly Henry.

Alex has taken to wearing Henry's heather grey tee shirt to sleep in and there are times he can fool himself that he is there...but he still wakes up alone and his heart breaks a little more.

He throws himself into work, 12-14 hour days... its been almost 3 weeks since Henry left.

The brunette from Salsa bar, Christine apparently, has offered to console Alex in anyway he needs but her face, her mouth, her body repulses him and he politely declines.

His news feed is full of images of Henry, at the Queens garden party, laughing with Bea at the V&A, and one from an Instagram account he doesn't recognise, just Henry's looking over his shoulder smiling a warm genuine smile, his big blue beautiful eyes crinkling at the edges.

The hashtage beneath reads HRHHenryofWales #1stlove #onethatgotaway;

And at that Alex picks up his almost empty coffee cup and hurls it at the wall, shattering the silence and startling his colleagues.

Two days later Alex receives a 4 am text from Bea, simply a photo of a floral bouquet the size of a small child, and a message 'Its time to get your arse over here"

Its 7pm the follow day, when Alex arrives at Kensington palace, an easier entry than his last unplanned visit, Bea smoothing the way.

He hears the piano playing from the music room something soft and gentle he can't place.

Alex knocks softly, opens the door and leans on the frame. Henry hasn't heard him, sitting on the tobacco colour couch, eyes half closed watching someone else play.

Alex remembers Henry telling him once, that he has never been serenaded, he's always been the one who did the serenading and Alex flippantly replying that his grade 3 recorder skill probably weren't up to the task.

He supposed Henry can't say that anymore.

Alex notices the huge floral display resplendent, the size of a two year old, sitting on an antique table just inside the door, Henry's name on the card.

The melody quietens and stops, notes lingering in the air.

'Hi" Alex says, breaking the spell, and Henry turns abruptly eyes widening, a jumble of emotions flashing across his face, surprise, bewilderment.. guilt?

"Alex" Henry breaths, and that one word, soft and round on Henry's lips makes Alex want to run into his arms and never let go, but then there is the man behind the piano, standing.

Alex can see is features clearly now, warm olive skin, aquamarine eyes set in a handsome squared- jawed face, impeccably dress and smile dancing on his lips."Alex?" more question than acknowledgement, his voice is deep, warm with a feint trace of an accent.

"Sorry, this is...um" Henry is startled to his feet, Alex notes that he is shoe less, his bare feet on the jewel coloured rug.

The man steps out from behind the piano and strides gracefully towards him, extending a well manicured hand, a large square cut amethyst pinky ring on his right hand.

"Eduardo Venturini-Pelle, Marchese de Castelguelfo but Eido to my friends."

"Alex" he says introducing himself and the tension in the air could be cut by a knife or his stupidly chiselled jaw.

"What are you doing here?" Henry stammers.

"I thought we needed to talk", he says looking into Henry's impossible blue eyes, then to Eido, but.. um, maybe I was wrong" Alex finishes pointedly, softly, deflated.

Eduardo clears his throat, "I'll leave you to it" and he turns to kiss Henry on both cheeks lingering a breath too long, Henry blushes and Eido moves towards the door inclining his head in Alex's direction "Alex" he says as he glides through it, closing it softly behind him.

"Sorry, I was clearly interrupting" Alex starts, his heart caught somewhere in his throat struggling to keep the pain out of his voice, failing.

"Um..I wasn't expecting you" Henry begins.

"I can see that" Alex says as he takes in the room, dimmed lights, on a small table two unfinished glasses of red nestled beside a platter of soft cheese and water crackers, plump cherries and chocolates in a bowl beside them.

Everything about this picture is cosy, intimate, private and it is clear he has walked in on a date. He doesn't know if he wants to scream and upend furniture, vomit or just turn on his heel and leave.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come, I though I would have time to fix what I destroyed, that if I gave you space I could repair it. I didn't expect you to move on so quickly. Fuck Henry it's been less a month!"

Alex sees Henry starting to speak but hold up his hand to stop him,"I, I fucked up, I broke us, I'm just horribly horribly sad. I though we would fight for this, I thought you would fight for this"

He can feel the tears on his face, and Alex flexes his hands at his side trying to remain calm, in control, desperate to not to let his anger, sadness or pain further alienate Henry, so he continues. "I just need you to know when I said my life was stagnant, I never meant you. I never meant us, You were, ARE the ONLY thing that made any sense, that made me happy. I just meant that I made these plans when I was a fucking kid, I didn't know who I was and now I am trapped in a cage of my own making."

"I know the video looked bad but it was just dancing and my ego tripping out, she kissed me, I should have seen it coming, but I NEVER kissed her back. I swear. I have never wanted anyone else but you, not since you first kissed me, but I suppose that no longer matters."

Alex releases his breath like air escaping from a tyre, he rakes his fingers through his unruly curls in exasperation "I know I've done nothing but ruin your life from the moment I stepped into it, the scandal, the outing, the pain, I am sorry, I am so so sorry."

"I will be out of the Brownstone by the weekend," and on that Alex turned on his heel and leaves,

and Henry doesn't stop him.