Blue Roses (John Egbert x Reader)

9

"I want to go home
but home is where you are and
you burnt that house down."

- Tumblr user, crossiesdontcountt

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It's been years.

They've all told me to give her up, to let her go. 'I can't...' I would tell them, 'Why not?' 'Because she promised me.'

She promised.

I took her away from the hospital, and she didn't wake up.

I took her somewhere no one would ever find her, and she didn't wake up.

I did everything she asked of me.
So why wasn't she waking up?
Why did she lie to me?
Was I not good enough?
Did I do something wrong?
Why?
Why?
Why?

I was on my last strand until I hear her gasp for air one night. My heart soared so far that my body felt too heavy suddenly.

I knew she'd keep her promise.
I knew she wouldn't ever abandon me.
I knew she'd come back for me.

I could finally make things right by her.
She wouldn't feel any hurt anymore.
She would never cry again.
She would never be that broken mess that she had transformed into.

I'd fix his mistakes.
I'd make things right.
I'd make her happy.
I'd make her happy and she could love me instead of him for once.

We could be happy together, her and I.

We could finally be happy together.

•••

She didn't know me.
She didn't remember me.

I tried jogging back her memory with our past, but she was confused and didn't understand any of it. This wasn't my [Name]. This was a stranger. This was a stranger that wore her face and attuned their voice to sound like her.

She'd left me.
She abandoned me.
She never loved me.
She just used me to get her body alive again, to start over so she could go back to him.

I was nothing to her.
I wasn't ever anything special to her.
I was just a puppet.
I was a pawn.
I was a fool.

I played right into her trap and I was a complete idiot to think she'd ever love me. Even after I gave her everything I was. Even after I gave into her. I was nothing. He was always her interest. He would always have her instead of me.

That wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair and I wouldn't accept it.
I wouldn't allow him to break her again.
I wouldn't go through the pain of watching her helplessly get herself back together, just to get torn down again.
I refused.

I saw her first.
I was friends with her first.
I was always there for her.
I never left her.
I was the only person that ever loved her.

She was mine first.
She will always be mine.
Only mine.

That's what I told myself when I saw her clawing her chest.
When I saw her struggling to breathe, her eyes wide and helpless.

That's what I told myself when I watched her body die, along with the stranger inside of it.

She was mine.
She'd forever be mine.
Nobody could take her away from me now.

Nobody.

END.

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Quickie A.N. though!
Okay guys, I'm back~! This is my final installment of Blue Roses and yes, this is the final end. It's been a good, crazy ride with both this story and it's connecting one. I am a bit sad to finish this, but my Junior year of high school is tomorrow and what way to end off the summer than to finish off this book ~!!!!
Haha I know, crazy ending but admit it... We all saw it coming a bit.

Well, it's been fun guys and I hope to see you in whatever I decide to update next.
Have a good one peeps and I'll see y'all later~