|| Stray Kids Oneshots

Stars / TW

You can love the stars even if you can't reach them. You can still appreciate their light and beauty from afar. It's easy to love the stars, which seem so close but are impossible to reach.

Sometimes people are like the stars. You can love someone even if you'll never be able to be with them. You can admire their beauty from a distance, while they light up your whole universe. You can love someone even if they, just like the stars, are painfully far yet painfully close at the same time.

The stars are never lonely, even though they're so far from the earth. They have the moon to keep them company and to just be there for them, reflecting the sun's light to add to that of the stars.

Bang Chan is like the stars, and I was once his moon. We were so extremely close, inseparable even. That was until he met Felix. As soon as Chan met the other Aussie, the two started getting closer and Chan and I started getting more distant, until we stopped talking altogether. Now, it's like I was never there in the first place.

The most painful part is that the day Chan met Felix was the day I was planning to confess my feelings for the older Australian boy.

☆☆☆

We were walking to our favorite park together, laughing and bringing up old memories, which brought even more laughter.

Then, a boy with blonde hair and freckles just happened to trip and fall on the sidewalk a few meters in front of us. He was carrying a few bags and it seemed like he was walking home from the store when he tripped over his own feet and fell.

Chan rushed forward to ask the boy if he was alright. I followed at a slower pace, though it wasn't because I didn't care about the possibility injured boy. After Chan helped him up and the three of us chatted for a bit, we learned that the boy's name was Lee Felix, and that like Chan, he was from Australia. We also discovered that he went to our school.

At first, Felix was nothing more than just another friend in our group of now eight people. He got along great with Jisung as soon as he met the rest of our friends. However, no matter how well he fit in with the rest of our group, he was always the closest with Chan. At first I figured it was just because they were both Australian, but as time went on, I realized it was deeper than that. I was losing the person I loved most, the person who literally saved my life.

Bang Chan was my sun, the biggest, brightest, warmest star of all. Then one day, my sun was gone and I was left with the same nothing I had before I met him. I no longer had any light to reflect into the darkness.

☆☆☆

Now, I sit outside as I eat my lunch. I used to sit with my friends but I can't anymore. I can't watch my favorite person fall in love with someone else. I can't even look at them, knowing that the person I love with my whole heart and soul is forgetting me. Whenever I see them, I remember just how far away the stars are.

I should sit with them at least one more time. I should spend at least one last moment with my friends. I know they probably won't even notice a thing.  They haven't even asked once if I was okay, and I doubt they've even realized my absence at the lunch table.

If I show up again, will they even take note of my presence? Did they ever really notice I was there? They never spoke to me unless I spoke first, as if they always forgot I was even there. Chan was the only one who seemed to care whether I felt included or not and now it's like he's forgotten me too.

☆☆☆

Locker number 143, the code is 0325. I hesitantly approach the last of seven lockers with a piece of paper and my phone in my hand. I fight back tears as I open the red metal locker, though I feel a couple stream down my face anyways.

I take a deep breath as I leave the items in the locker and quietly close it. Part of me wants to turn around and take it all back, every word on each of the seven papers, but the decision has already been made. It's too late to change my mind. I just have to remind myself that things will be better this way, for me, for him, and for them.

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The stars are so amazing. Sometimes I wonder how they manage to shine so brightly even though the sky around them is so dark.

Sometimes people are like the stars, only shining when they have the moon by their side. When the moon sets and the sun rises, the stars fade away.

Some stars shine so brightly that eventually they can't shine anymore, and they burn out. When one star burns out, does anyone even notice?

Sometimes people are like the stars. When one is gone, there's so many more that nobody even realizes.

I was once your moon, but now I'm just another star. I'm trying my best to shine as bright as I can, but it's too much. It's time for another star to burn out.

I know that by the time you read this, I really will be just another star, a real star in the sky and not just a metaphor. Don't worry, though. I'll shine extra bright just for you, my love.

This is not your fault, so don't you dare blame yourself. I don't want Felix to think it's his fault either, because it really isn't. I never have hated him and I never will. When I wasn't good enough for you, he was. He brought you more light than I ever could have.

I love you Chan, and I want you to know that you are more than just my star. You're my entire universe, and I want you to be happy, even if I can't be the reason for that happiness.

With this note should be my phone. The password is 4419. I want you to send yourself all of the pictures I took of the sky, since I know you always loved when I showed them to you. I would love to take so many more for you, but I'm afraid I can't do that now.

I believe that's everything I needed to tell you, so I must go now. I hope the stars are extra pretty tonight, now that I'll be joining them.

–Your Star

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Author's note

I cried while writing that, wow. I've never written anything this sad before. Today my imagination woke up and chose violence.

Can you guess who the main pov is? I'm curious to see what y'all think.

I really hope this turned out okay and actually makes sense. 😭