metanoia | lee jeno

50 - narration

chaewon

“okay i will just remind you guys about the deadlines next week.” the teacher says to the whole class.

i silently writes the note on the corner of my notebook and then highlighted it so i will notice it right away once i went over my notes again later. everyone else seems to be occupied on what to eat on lunch except from me.

ang tanging laman lang ng isip ko ay si jeno. oo, si jeno. naiinis pa rin ako sa kanya. the way i felt so stupid for acting so worried while he parties without even having any thought of me.

nakakainis. nakakainsulto. masakit sa pride.

but somehow, at the back of my mind, i kind of expected this from him. from the multiple dating scandals he had around the whole campus, it isn’t a surprise to hear some rumors about him and his exes.

what i often hear is that jeno’s not the clingy type. he isn’t the jealous boyfriend too. probably because he knew that he’s so great his girlfriend won’t even try to find someone else? ang yabang. pero totoo naman kasi.

the rumors has it. he usually lose interest once the girl became too clingy around him. one thing why i hold back from becoming one. pero ang nakakaasar lang, siya ang nanliligaw diba? why should i give too much care to his preference in the relationship. he should be the one doing his best to make me like him more.

“chae?” i snapped out from my thoughts when cheonsa calls me out.

she furrow her brows, looking a bit worried. “okay ka lang ba? kanina ka pa tahimik.”

i heaved out a sigh then flash her a small smile.

“yes, i’m fine. don’t worry.” sabi ko at tumayo na para maayos ang ilang gamit sa table ko.

“saan tayo?” she asks.

“kung saan mo gusto. i’m fine anywhere.” i answered lazily. wala ako masyado gana pero ayos lang, sasamahan ko nalang sya kumain.

i can feel cheonsa’s eyes watching me carefully. saglit ko sya nilingon at itinaas ang dalawang kilay para itanong kung bakit.

she smiles warrily, “hindi kayo sabay ni jeno?” tanong nya.

just the mere mention of his name instantly put me into a slight off mood. its funny how fast and heavy he affects me. nababaliw ako. malapit na masira ang ulo ko dahil sa kanya.

i rolled my eyes, hindi ko na napigilan ang pagkairita.

“hindi. ayoko sya makita.” sabi ko at inilagay na ang gamit sa bag.

i grabbed my phone and wallet. cheonsa stayed silent as she waits for me patiently. nang handa na lahat ng kelangan ay naglakad na kami palabas. bago pa man kami tuluyan makadating sa may pinto, pumasok na ang isa sa mga kaklase namin.

nakangiti sya ng magkasalubong ang mga mata namin.

“shota mo nam nasa labas.” sabi pa nito.

i frowned at his words, “anong shota sinasabi mo? wala ako non.”

he scoffed, “weh? si jeno anjan sa may labas! kasama si haechan.”