✓midnight convergence//epistolary

22

It's been one year since Saint died. For the first six months, everything was hard. Kahit ano'ng gawin ko,nahihirapan ako. Nakailang palit ako ng therapist bago naging unti-unting okay.

Of course, hindi pa rin ako lubos na maayos. There are times when I would relapse and I had to go back to base one, but I had supportive people with me. Gael and Yesha were my rock. They kept me sane when everything was unbearable.

Today marks the first death anniversary of Saint. I bought a basket of flowers together with his things. This is the first time I'm gonna visit him in months since I had to distant myself from everything that reminded me of him.

Nanggagaling na si Yesha at Gael dito kaya hindi na ako nagulat sa mga bulaklak at kandila. Umupo ako at hinaplos ang lapida niya. It still hurts, but it's bearable.

"Hi there, Saint! It's me, Nyx. I brought flowers and your favorite food. Miss na miss na kita." I sighed. "Sorry for not visiting you these past months. I've been on therapy. Medyo tanggap ko na rin. Marami akong baon na kuwento para sa 'yo."

I stared at his name for a little while. It feels weird because I'm still hoping to get a reply from him. Sana sumagot siya, pero nakakatakot 'yon.

"Let's catch up? Noong una, mahirap talaga ang mga nangyari. I couldn't remember anything that happened for the first few months, but there's one thing that kept me going. I've been having this repetitive dream that we were sitting by the lake. You were hugging me, telling me how much you love me. Somehow, iyong panaginip na 'yon ang naging closure ko. It felt real, as if we're both saying our last goodbyes. That dream is so vivid that it almost feels real."

I reminisced about that dream. Wala akong maalala the day after he was burried. All I know is that I messaging him, hoping to receive a reply. Maliban doon, everything was a blur.

I continued my story. "I was so intrigued by that dream that I became interested in it. Well, one thing led to the other until I discovered this parallel universe theory. Alam mo ba na ang mga panaginip daw natin ay reflection ng mga nangyayari sa iba nating katauhan na nag-eexist sa ibang universe? And you know what's cool? I had this dream that you're alive and we're happy together! Maybe in another universe, we're together! Ang galing, 'no?"

In another universe, we had everything we ever dreamed of. I smiled at his grave before leaving. I have to go to the lake. When I got there, I threw a bouquet of flowers. I sat there looking at the flowers until I saw something floating. I was able to pick it up. The thing stirred a lot of emotions, something I couldn't understand.

It was a pink bracelet with Saint's name in it...