Langour ・❥・Joost Klein・❥・

35.

The night was still and cold. The chairs that they had put out on the balcony scraped when dragged across the tiles and it would usually make Fenne cringe. She hated the possibility of waking someone up, but tonight, she had pulled it out while deaf to the noise.

Her knees were up against her chest and her arms were crossed. Fenne's slippers weren't useful against the cold, but at least she could pull the hood of Joost's jumper up over her head.

The lamp on the beside table acted as a dim light source from the bedroom behind her. The bed was unmade, but not in the way Joost would usually leave it. One corner of the duvet was pulled back, showing how Fenne had spent the night under its covers but never went to sleep. It was useless to try when the other side was empty.

Fenne wished there was some wind to shake the trees. Any noise would be appreciated, but even in West Amsterdam, it was deathly quiet. There was none of the usual police sirens or late-night strollers in the streets. Fenne hated it, hoping that it wouldn't be long until she wasn't alone anymore.

'Hey.'

Looking up through the the rim of her hood, Fenne peered up to the sliding door. In a coat, sweatpants and a hat underneath his hood, Joost stepped onto the balcony.

He had needed to be in the heart of the city for a dinner. It had been with some music producers that had invited him and the team. Fenne had been invited, but admitted that she didn't want to go. In the end, only Joost and Teun went and sat through a rather boring ordeal.

'What are you doing out here?' he asked, shutting the sliding door behind him.

'Couldn't sleep.'

'Are you cold?'

She shook her head. Joost knew better but settled into the second chair without arguing. He rummaged in his pant pocket and pulled out his packet of cigarettes and his special lighter. He shifted to sit up further in his seat while pulling a cigarette out of box. Putting it between his lips, Joost parted his legs and patted the space in between them.

'Come here,' he said, cupping his hands to shield the lit flame. Fenne stood up wordlessly and planted herself in Joost's chair. She laid back against his front and saw smoke blow past her head.

She thought she was hallucinating the lit cigarette that was put in front of her face. Blinking, she eyed it, waiting for Joost to take another drag, but it stayed smoking.

'B-But you said...'

'I know what I said. It'll help you sleep.'

Joost was offering Fenne his cigarette. Ever since Lowlands 2019, she never thought about taking one when a pack was handed around. The fascination wore off after years of standing amongst the smoke and hearing the gutteral coughs that followed. But with bags under her eyes and jittering fingers, Fenne found herself taking the cigarette.

What happened in Berlin was yet to leave Fenne's memory. It had been months since they returned to The Netherlands and there weren't many days that passed where she didn't think about that day.

After her statement, which was given in between splutters and sobs, Fenne was forced to pay expensive phone bills and take trips to Germany to monitor the case. She had spoken to so many people about what had happened and it had gotten to the point where she could recollect the incident without flinching.

On the outside, it looked like Fenne was doing okay. But when the nights rolled in, Joost saw how Fenne was really doing.

The man who sexually assaulted her fought for his innocence and his lawyer was good. But with the amount of witnesses and after a blood test, it was ruled that Fenne was drugged and assaulted. He was sentenced to three years in jail and a place on the sex offenders list.