Langour ・❥・Joost Klein・❥・

41.

'It's so much better, Fenney. I spend about an hour or two at each house and most of them are old people. They offer me tea and biscuits! I can't believe I didn't apply to be a community nurse sooner.'

Hanna rambled about her new job as she and Fenne walked the path. They had met in the city for coffee and were window shopping. They tried to meet regularly, but with each of their schedules, and the general lives of being twenty-six year-olds, the two friends had to plan months in advance to catch up.

'OLVG must lose so much staff to the private companies,' Fenne said. 'It's such a stupid system.'

'I hear the universities have just sent the first load of students into the hospitals they signed contracts with. I pray for them,' Hanna said solemnly.

'And Apson? What's he up to?'

'He's made some of his own music, but most of his time is spent prepping for Eurovision. Same with the other guys.'

Fenne lowered her head into a nod and looked down at her feet. She danced around the centre topic like it was a fire and she was performing a ritual. The heat was so strong that every time she got near, Fenne felt the tips of her ears burn and her heart tell her to back off. It was a sensation she felt often, because almost every week, there was something that brought up the topic, and Fenne would play the game of dodging the flame once more.

'They've got some wacky outfits. Appie's going to be dressed as a blue bird,' Hanna continued with a laugh weaved into her words. 'Just in case they decide Europapa isn't the song they want to use.'

'I always liked it better than Bird Song.'

'And Joost has these massive shoulderpads in a blue suit. It's comical, really.'

Hanna knew what she was doing, as did Fenne. But even though Fenne had prepared for at least one mention of Joost, her stomach still churned as if it were ill.

She swallowed and couldn't help the pause she did before replying. Fenne peered up from her shoes and tried to focus on the main subject of Hanna's words.

'Shoulderpads? That's the last thing I thought he would wear.'

'It was Daan's idea. I think he was setting him up for something, but it's actually done the opposite. Joost loved it,' Hanna said and was relieved at Fenne's reaction. She expected both sides of the coin; Fenne's complete retraction from Joost's mention and a swift change of conversation, or an attempt to appear nonchalant.

Turning the corner of the street, Fenne hoped that it was the last of it. She wanted to hear more about Hanna's life and how much better it had gotten since working as a community nurse. She didn't want to talk about herself, but that was something Fenne always struggled with.

But Hanna was Fenne's best friend and she knew her well enough to not be so foolish.

'He asked about you today. He wanted to know if there's anything coming up for you in May.'

Fenne sighed.

'No. After April, I've got nothing.'

'Would you come to Sweden?'

'Are you going?'

'I have work.'

Fenne threw her head back with another sigh and Hanna put her hand out to grab her friend's shoulder. She stopped the two of them and angled her body to face her. Fenne wanted to resist by continuing their walk, but with Hanna's hand stopping her, Fenne had no choice but to look at her in the eye.

'I don't know why you're still doing this, Fenne. He wants to see you. Joost can't go half a conversation without mentioning you, and yet, when someone asks why he doesn't text you, he shuts down. Says that you wouldn't want to talk to him-'