Trapped In Flames (A Shivian fic)

The truth hurts | 3 ❥

content warning, domestic violence

Marjorie watched Siobhan carefully as she sat uneasily on the edge of her sofa, picking the skin around her cuticles.
She'd been at her house for an hour already, and after a few glasses of water she'd sobered up a lot, but Marjorie could tell by the shakiness of her breathing that she still hadn't completely recovered from whatever had happened.
Marjorie looked at her intently, she'd never taken the time to really observe Siobhan before, but now in the dimmed lamp light of her living room, all she could think of was how truly miserable she looked.
Through her cried off makeup, she could see bright purple eye bags carved deep into her face, her cheekbones protruded in ways that they never had before, and as Marjorie glanced downwards from her face to her fragile body, she realised just how frail she looked.

"Siobhan," Marjorie started to speak quietly and softly, not wanting to startle her, "I know you and I haven't exactly been the best friends going, but I do care about you, and I really need you to tell me what's happened."
"I'm sorry for coming to you like this." Siobhan replied in an empty, raspy voice whielst her doe eyes gazed vacantly into the distance, their icy irises emitting an aura of complete loss and devastation.
"Please let me in my love, I want nothing more than to help you." Marjorie said kindly, her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

Siobhan glanced up, locking eyes with the woman before her. Marjorie was the gentle cool breeze on a warm summers day, she was the first tree to blossom pretty pink flowers in the spring, and she was the feel of the silky ocean water against the tips of your fingers. Marjorie was what love would be if it could be exhibited as a person, she was so completely full of it that just being around her made you feel like things could be okay, and that the world wasn't so deeply evil.
Siobhan hated Marjorie so much because she hated that she could never be as good of as person as she was, and she hated that Marjorie's heart of genuine goodness highlighted the darkness of her own. Siobhan could easily overpower most people, and bring them down to nothing, it was simple for her to alienate somebody into feeling as utterly worthless as she'd felt her whole life.
But one thing that she could never overpower was love, because she'd never felt it before. Somebody with a heart as good as Marjorie's terrified her because she knew that she was completely powerless against them, compared to them, her usually hostile and bitter front meant nothing. Against them, she was just as worthless as she'd always felt, and she had no way to hide her own sadness and insecurity.
Siobhan glanced down again.

"Please, Siobhan," Marjorie pleaded, moving closer to the blonde to take her hands in her own, "start from the beginning and take your time."
"Okay." Siobhan muttered croakily, taking a desperate gulp of air before she began.
"Vivian kissed me, and then I kissed her back," she took another deep breath before finishing, "then I started panicking and called her a faggot," her voice broke and silent tears began to gush rapidly down her cheeks, "and she told me that she never wanted to see me again."
"Vivian, Jamie's mum? Vivian Cross from my nursery?" Marjorie exclaimed, rather taken aback.
"Yes." Siobhan sighed quietly.

Marjorie placed a soothing hand on her back and began to rub it comfortingly.
She had no idea what she'd expected, but it definitely wasn't this. She inhaled deeply and bit her lip in concentration as she wondered how she could best help Siobhan, she'd definitely done a lot of wrong, but given how upset she was, her actions most likely stemmed from a much deeper problem, so she decided that she would firstly address that.
"Siobhan, why do you think you were so scared after you kissed her back?"
Siobhan brushed the tears from her cheeks and thought for a minute before responding.
"I think I was scared of what that would mean I am," she whispered quietly, "my parents were as small minded as I've been all these years, and I suppose the idea of me feeling anything romantic towards Viv completely terrified me because I was raised to view same sex couples as repulsive and disgusting, but I don't want to see things that way anymore. I really want to be better, Marjorie. My whole life I've let my childhood control the way I've lived my life as an adult, and now I just want to be truly free from it all."
Marjorie squeezed Siobhan's hand lightly, "I think that realising that is the first and most important step in all of this," she told her, smiling slightly, "and I think you already know exactly what you need to do next."
Surprisingly, Siobhan pulled Marjorie in for a hug, and the 2 women stayed sat there, bodies intertwined for a good few minutes before either of them broke apart.

"Do you need a lift home my love?" Marjorie asked after Siobhan had cleaned herself up, and drank the 5th glass of water she'd had since getting there.
Siobhan shuddered, with everything that had happened she hadn't even thought about going home.
"Yes please." She told Marjorie solemnly, petrified about what Roger would do to her tonight.
"Don't worry, my love," Marjorie began kindly, "I don't plan on telling anyone about tonight. I think you have a lot that you need to work through yourself, and my lips will remain sealed unless you tell me otherwise."
Siobhan nodded silently, and the tinniest ray of gratitude and reassurance began to shimmer inside of her.

The car ride home was quiet, both women were lost in thought, and Siobhan wanted nothing more than to just break down and tell Marjorie everything, but she knew she couldn't.
Marjorie's car pulled up in Roger's drive, and she slowly walked Siobhan to the door before ringing the doorbell.

"Siobhan, where the fuck have you been?" Roger growled, reaching forward to grab Siobhan's arm strongly before pulling her inside roughly.
"Thanks, Marjorie, that will be all." He grunted angrily, then he slammed the door and dragged Siobhan down the hall.
Marjorie's mouth fell open in horror at what she'd just witnessed. Something about the predatory gaze that overcame Roger's eyes when he first saw Siobhan made her feel deeply uncomfortable. But she knew that in that moment there was nothing she could do, so she began to cautiously tread back to her car, drawing her hand up to her hair to play with it anxiously as she did.

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"Who the fuck do you think you are, disappearing all day?!" Roger's drunken voice boomed across the dining room, echoing loudly inside Siobhan's skull.
"I'm sorry, I lost track of time." Siobhan stammered, the terror she felt closing in around her throat, making it difficult to talk.
"Sorry means nothing, you pathetic bitch!" Roger roared, and in an eruption of anger, he shoved her violently across the room.
Siobhan gasped in pain as the side of her stomach hit the sharp corner of the table. She landed on the floor in what felt like slow motion, agony ripping through her body like a bullet.
She began to dry heave, clinging to the table leg beside her, digging her fingers into the hard surface, desperately seeking an anchor in the storm of her panic.

Roger laughed maliciously, crouching as he approached her to roughly grabbing her jaw, tilting her head so that she had no choice other than to timidly look up to him.
Siobhan felt like a deer in headlights, never before had she been so incredibly terrified of Roger, complete darkness had overcome his menacing, beady eyes, and he was practically glowing with hostility.
"I'm going to bed," he hissed, "you look fucking disgusting."
As he released her head from his brutal grip, he made sure to spit backwards in her direction to emphasise his disgust.

Siobhan lay there, feeling the hand shaped bruises of Roger's harsh grasps form rapidly on her arms, trying to breathe softly to prevent the pain as sharp as the tip of a knife that was stabbing into her side each time she would inhale.
She felt like an empty, defenceless shell of herself.

Roger took and he took and he took from her, but now she had nothing left to give.

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