ℑ𝔰𝔫'𝔱 𝔪𝔶 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔰𝔬 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔶?

17

Fear or nerve isn't just your heartbeat accelerating, or a buildup of sweat on your palms. It's your body asking you to stop and think this through for a minute. Is it really okay?

________

Warning
Slight mention of suicide and bestiality

Izuku sighed as he sat down on his bed. He had of course gotten his mom to sign the permission slip, but she had asked him to try not to get into fights with anymore students. He smiled at her and nodded, before going to retreat to his bedroom. She hugged him before he got to the stairs.

She had apologized to him? She never said what for, and it bugged him. Was it because she brought his father home that one day? He honestly almost forgot that had happened.

He jumped at the sound of a few knocks at his door. He opened it and stared down at his shirt ass mother. "Hey honey, um, your principal emailed me earlier." Izuku had felt his heart rate increase. Oh shit.

"Maybe you should stop, collecting, these." She picked up a jar that was on a nearby shelf. She looked a bit sad. "I'm not saying you should throw any of it out," She continued. "But maybe just leave a dead animal when you see it."

He was staring at her in disbelief. Who the fuck was this and what had she done with his mother? Of course he didn't ask that, because she didn't like it when he swore, so instead, he did the responsible thing.

"Okay." She smiled at him. It looked somewhat apologetic and guilty. "I love you, Izuku. I'm sorry to take away what you love doing." She kissed his forehead and started her descent downstairs. Izuku just stood there for a moment.

If she felt sorry about it, then why was she taking it away? It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. He looked down at his bright red sneakers, then at the window.

"I'll— I'll check the weather...." He picked his phone up off the bed and clicked on the weather app. Clear skies for the next few hours. He could go on a short walk to clear his mind.

"Hmm? Where are you going sweetie?" His mother asked. She looked down at her from where she sat. "Just a quick walk. I'll be back in a bit." He answered.

She let out a low exhale and stood up, short body standing a few feet shorter than him. "Izuku, I don't think you should go on your walks anymore." A surprised look came across his face. Her eyes softened with guilt.

"It's just not safe for you to stay out so late." She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes. She knew how much he loved those walks. Embalming, no matter how weird it is or sounds.

"Okay.... I get it I guess." He muttered, before heading back upstairs. He flopped face down on his head, sighing.

Was him getting into arguments with Monoma really that serious? All he did was punch his nose. He went through much worse in middle school. (My guy what?)

After a few minutes of pondering, he reached underneath his bed and pulled out a box basically filled with stuff. He moved a few items out of the way and pulled out a notebook, opening it to the first page.

Three Years Of Torment

The only four words that had been written in the center of the page in small font. With how much he got bullied in elementary school, shouldn't he keep track of what happens in middle? There's a lot of things in here he could get people in trouble for if someone found this notebook. Maybe it could be his suicide note if he tried to kill himself.

He flipped the page to one filled with short, or long, paragraphs. All that for the first week.

1. It's only the first day of school, and Katsuki has already set his eyes on me as his target. He threatened to blow my head in if I called him 'Kacchan' in front of his new 'friends'. Personally, I'd prefer to call them his minions. My teachers are nice so far though. I haven't talked to that many people yet. I think I scared them off. Some guys started laughing at me when I introduced myself though, maybe my voice was funny or something.

Now that he thought about it, his voice wasn't weird, or funny. Earlier that day he saw them Talking with Katsuki. Izuku swore he heard his name pop up, possibly one of the other boys.

He does remember one thing clearly, though. Katsuki's exact words.

'That weirdo? He's into necromancy or something. The creep collects dead things! My mom forces me to be nice to him since nobody else wants to be friends with him. He's a total loser.'

Maybe it was Izuku's mind tricking him, but he didn't feel like remembering that for all of his years in middle school. Maybe opening this notebook was a bad idea. Should he just read a different one? Then again, it's not like his second or third years are any better.

And so, he let his eyes trail down to the next paragraph on the page.

               2. Some girls asked me if I had any pets for some reason. They said they'd feel sorry for them if I did. I kept asking them why, but they wouldn't answer. I asked Katsuki about it too. He said it was because I was some creep who probably liked animals. They thought I was into bestiality. For half the day I had been asked if I liked animals or was a virgin. I was even sent to the principals office. At least I got to go home early?

Izuku slammed the book shut and dropped it back into the box with a thud. He pushed it under his bed as he felt tears prick his eyes. Why did he even open it?