(Angsty fluff, my first attempt at making something heartwarming. Please tell me if I did good 😭)
Skeppys POV~
I'm having a late night picnic with my family, dapper, karl, sapnap, quackity, bad, we're all here. We even brought along Rocco and rat. I'm having an amazing time just talking to all of them under the moon light, dapper and sapnap running around with the dogs playing with a frisbee, karl and quackity holding hands while telling us all about the silly things sapnap does.
It's perfect.
I look down the hill we're on, and get a sense of familiarity looking at the water, what is it? There's something I don't get, something I can't understand, something. I feel the urge to go and see for myself, the urge to go sit by the water and just think. My eyes twinkle in the light, and I don't want it, I need it.
"I'll.. Be back. Don't bother me for a little okay?" I say, still looking at the water with a deep feeling of need. I lean my head over and give bad a gentle kiss on the cheek, before bringing myself to my feet.
"Take your time honey." Bad says sweetly. I walk down the hill, and make my way down to the water. There's this elevated area where it's grass, slightly above the water. I sit on top of it, and look in.
The way the moonlight reflects on the water is mesmerizing in a way, I feel like I'm being put into a trance looking at it. I lean my hand out and gently press it against the water, feeling it take over my hand. I can't look away, and at the same time I feel like I can't pull my hand away either.
I notice the stillness in the pond, none of the creatures are awake. They're sleeping, just like we should be, but we aren't. I wonder if the animals ever wonder what the night looks like too, maybe they're just as curious as we are. I see the small, slow ripples in the water where my hand is disappear as it grows still once more.
I think, what even is this? What brought me to this point, mesmerized by a small pond filled with natural water, contemplating whether the animals who live in it are curious like people are. Maybe it's the way my life was formed, so bad yet so good? Like a fairytale kind of.
The bad, and the good, was it all necessary to get me to this point? If I'd done anything different maybe I wouldn't be right here right now where I am? Maybe all the bad, all the cringy, and all the embarrassing, was necessary to get me here, and for a second, I feel thankful for all of it.
Maybe that should last longer than a second though, so I drag out my gratitude.
Sometimes, the things that are necessary might not be good. Sometimes, bad things will happen, sometimes, I'll be mad at myself for doing stupid things, but then, I have to remember that those things don't make me who I am, I do. I can make mistakes, I can have bad things happen to me, but that doesn't change who I am does it?
Sometimes, we have to accept that bad things are going to happen, embarrassing things are going to happen, sad things are going to happen, but that's okay, because you can move on from them, and you can grow from them.
You're your own tree, and you get to choose what branches you cut and which you keep.
I move my hand around slowly in the water, watching the ripples form around it, it's weird how the world works isn't it? Everything at that very moment revolves around the things that had just previously happened, but eventually, those things will be over, just like the ripples in the water when I stop moving my hand, they'll happen, but time will forget.
You don't have to worry about every little thing all the time, judgement goes away, the times where you say something thats stupid, the times when you trip in front of people, if you really think about it, nobody's going to remember those are they? The next day maybe, the next week maybe, but eventually it'll cruise it's way out of all of their brains.
I feel tears forming in my eyes, and I don't stop them. Sometimes, crying might be the best option you have. I don't feel like they're tears of sadness though, it feels odd. No matter what mistakes you make, as long as you acknowledge them and use them as a way to grow and learn, you're a person, and people, are just people.
I'm not horrible for having different opinions than others, as long as they aren't hurting a whole group, but sometimes I also have to remember that no matter what I do, it'll make someone mad, and I can't live my life in fear worrying what everyone else thinks of me, sometimes I have to live, and living shouldn't always be fear. It should be me, being me.
Tears fall down my cheeks rapidly, and it doesn't feel bad, or wrong. I feel good about myself. I feel like I have to do this, maybe it's good to just sit down and tell yourself everything will be okay.
Even though people hurt me, even though people did bad things to me, I can let the thoughts of it slip away, let the thoughts of what I did wrong, what they did wrong, drift off into the stream of my past.
Life is a pond, you can't control where things take you or where things end up, but you can control what you do with them when they happen. Life is my own, and I should find a way to make it happy.
My life isn't bads, it's not sapnaps, it's not anyones but my own. Im me, and being me is okay. I don't have to change myself for anyone, I can have bad days, I can have hard times, I can have tragedy, I just can't let those things affect my own person, who I've spent so many years developing.
I remove my hand from the water, watching the small drops of water create their own ripples in the pond. If I think about it, I'm just another drop in the pond. We're all our own shape and size, but that doesn't make us more important or less important than one another, we all have one thing, we're filling the pond. And everyone's needed to do that.
I'm needed, I'm needed by many even if they don't know me, even if I've never met them, I'm wanted, I'm loved, I'm important. Everyone's important to someone. I just need to surround myself with those people. Even if I'm not the first choice, that doesn't mean that they don't care for me.
I smile, watching the droplets from my hand send ripples away in all directions each time they fall into the pond, all so important in filling it up.
I let tears blur my vision, I let myself do what I need. All around me is silent, except for the slight chattering heard by everyone up the hill. It's comforting in a way, the silence broken by those I love. I'm glad I have them, I'm glad they can love me too.
I catch myself thinking back on my high school years, if I was back there, I'd do the same things I did back then, even if it got me hurt, made me do stupid things, because it brought me here, and I love it here. I love who I became, and I wouldn't be who I am now if I'd have changed any of that.
I love myself.
"Skeppy????" I hear bad call from behind me. I move my head around to look at him, tears streaming down my face. I wipe my hand off on the grass and smile as wide as I can without using my teeth, "goodness, are you okay sweetheart?" He asks with concern in his voice.
I turn my body around and lunge into his arms. I let myself cry on his chest, while we lay in the grass, he holds me while I hug him tightly, "I love you. I love you. I love you so much." I say with a shaky but happy voice. "I love you too skeppy- but- what's this about??" He says, confused.
I sit up and wipe my eyes, "nothing. Just, happy." I say as my crying ceases. I just smile at him as he lays down in the grass beside me, still visibly confused as hell. "Don't worry about it okay?" I say with a giggle.
"You're such a tease!" He says as he takes a turn lunging at me, pinning me to the grass below him. We're both laughing and smiling, "seriously though, it really is nothing. I'm just happy to have you, and I'm happy about where life has taken me." I say as I look up at him.
"God I love you." I put my hand on his cheek as I let the words come out. "You're.. Perfect." Bad says, a large pause between the words as I see his eyes sparkle with the same curiosity mine did earlier. His eyes fill with tears now, and he leans down to kiss me.
This is perfect.
END
idk why but I randomly stopped writing the chapter I was writing and started writing this, I cried writing it, I did this whole thing while writing a different chapter, and then had to put this into words here.
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