Discordant Note: Crescendo | TBATE

Chapter 194: Fermenting Uprising

Toren Daen

I left Seris' chambers, feeling the adrenaline along my veins slowly simmer away as I finally stepped outside the door. The events of the past few minutes raced across my thoughts, leaving a weave of uncertainty and fear in my mind.

Fear. The thing that drove us all.

I exhaled a shuddering breath, closing my eyes and thumping the back of my head against the door. I slowly slid to the floor, my thoughts flowing like tar. I struggled to maintain a grasp on each as they passed, the thumping of my heart making it hard to discern anything. From terror or passion, I did not know.

I held my face in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut so hard I saw stars behind my eyelids. I gave myself a few minutes to just... acknowledge, and center myself afterward.

Eventually, the Unseen World washed over my vision. I saw Lady Dawn standing not far away, looking down at me with an angry expression.

"She hurt you, my bond," she snapped, looking at my hands. "It was not her right to do so. You should extricate yourself from this while you still can."

I forced my heartbeat to slow. That final sensation... where I'd been forced to sense everything Seris was feeling, all at once, made my joints lock up with guilt.

I'd always viewed my empathic abilities as a gift. It was a thing that allowed me to better understand the people around me and grow to know them better. In this strangely foreign world, it gave me the pull I needed to truly form connections.

But what if the very act of understanding another hurts them? I wondered. What if, by even trying to know somebody, you tear open their wounds?

I hurt Seris more, I responded to my bond. She was... cornered. And she lashed out in the only way she could.

And it had been effective. I felt as if I'd been forced against my will to tear away someone's clothes by that very person, where neither party involved wanted that outcome. And of course, Seris didn't want me to know her deepest fears. But she wanted to hurt me in that final moment more than she wanted to protect herself.

Aurora opened her mouth to say something; to protest, maybe, but then she paid closer attention to my emotions afterward. We sat in silence for a while.

"Her mental attack wasn't just about your ability to sense her emotions, was it?" she asked, the words more statement than a question. "She strikes you because you grow closer to her; because you are learning more than she wishes you to know."

It took a long time for me to reply. Aurora had left me to my meeting alone, as she usually did whenever I interacted with Seris. She'd let our bond darken slightly, allowing me to feel only my thoughts and emotions. But I had no doubt the passion I'd felt had radiated over our link. And my uncertainty. And then the guilt.

I'm going to stop, I said honestly. I can't do this if it hurts her, Aurora. I didn't really... understand, before. But she made her statement clear.

"Many have told you that the woman was dangerous," my bond said again, sounding just a bit judgemental. "Myself included, my son. Yet only now you listen?"

I'm a different kind of masochist from Arthur, I replied with a mental sigh. I've always courted danger, Aurora. But I didn't understand how I was hurting her. Not really. Not until she threw it back at my face like knives.

I slowly pulled myself to my feet, looking at my hands where Seris had marked me. I could heal it over, wash away the wounds. But...

I withdrew a roll of bandages from my dimension ring, beginning to wrap the claw marks in fresh linens. My natural healing factor outside of my heartfire abilities was already well above the norm: with a body partially of the djinn and phoenix and assimilated in the silver core, I healed faster than a normal white core mage. I could already feel the flesh beneath reknitting slowly, sealing the deep gashes over.