Discordant Note: Crescendo | TBATE

Chapter 292: Reflection

Thank you to my beta reader and editor, GlassThreads!

Toren Daen

Cylrit and I flew silently through the night sky over the desert of Darv. The sands whipped and tore at our loose clothing as the winds carried us along, but despite the howling noise of the dwarven country, it still felt silent between us.

I'd briefed the Retainer on what had transpired in the wake of his fight with the Wraiths. He knew how Burim had broken. He knew of my battle with Chul.

And he knew the state his master was in.

After I'd told him about Seris' current state and why I'd taken such risks to break him from the Dicathians' flying castle, he'd gone silent. His intent radiated a quiet sort of contemplativeness that I didn't interrupt.

I kept my eyes forward, listening to the rush of the winds. I still felt tired, exhaustion seeping deep into my bones. I'd recovered most of my mana in the eight or so hours I'd spent meditating, but I hadn't slept at all since before my mission to infiltrate the castle. I could feel the bags beneath my eyes drooping low.

We'd left Nico behind on that riverbank a few hours ago, glaring up at us as we departed. I was certain we'd meet again.

In my head, Aurora was silent. She sensed the upcoming meeting in a different way than I did, and I could tell that she needed her space for the moment.

"Things must change," Cylrit finally said, his voice swallowed by the Darvish howl. "If my capture can disrupt Master Seris so greatly...."

The Retainer of Sehz-Clar was wearing more appropriate attire than loose linens and prisoner's garb, but he still looked exhausted, too. He didn't turn to look at me as we flew through the sky.

"It's a matter of perspective," I said after a moment. "Caring for others... Feeling... It's a beautiful poison. It can seep into your veins and settle there, bringing bliss as much as pain."

The dark-haired Retainer tilted his head, the only indicator that he was listening to me. I thought it ironic, in a way. If Seris were to die... Then this man would have nothing left. He'd dedicated himself to her so fully that there was no Cylrit outside of Seris.

"You can't be close to somebody without bringing the potential of hurt, Cylrit. There is no future where you're able to be all that you are and not risk her pain." The Retainer didn't respond after that, still stuck deep in thought. Captivity had not suited him well, and introspection even less so. I wagered all he could do while locked in those dungeons was think. "But this isn't about that, is it?"

I could sense it in Cylrit's intent. I didn't know if he was entirely certain of the words and emotions churning in his stomach at all, but he needed to say them.

"When I was stationed in Vildorial, I spoke often with Olfred Warend," the Vritra-blooded man said as we crossed over the sands. "The dwarf lamented how he felt as if he had been too loyal in following Elder Rahdeas. He warned me against the loyalty of my position, claiming it would only end poorly. I nearly struck him across the jaw for his insolence."

I resisted a sardonic chuckle as Cylrit's words reached me, noting how he restricted his question purely to implication rather than statement. I wondered who had developed this habit first: Cylrit, or Seris?

The Retainer was having doubts. Not truly about his level of loyalty, I didn't think, but the quality of it. I could sense it in his intent. If he performed every order and action without question as he always had, then was he truly loyal?

"We must always question orders and the reasons why, Cylrit," I said after a moment. "That was where Olfred failed in his loyalty to Rahdeas. It was blind to any other possibility."