Ice Princess

10

All the food she ate for the next several days was hot. Hot teas, soup, chowders, things that would go down slowly helping with the warmth. She definitely couldn't get much out the second day and it hurt even after warm compresses. Which weren't helping the bruising. The closest she got to thanksgiving dinner was turkey soup she ordered the day ahead of time. Melinoe finished putting all the furniture in the other rooms together and hung some of her artwork up. At least now she could sign her name. A package arrived with all her documents back in her original name. She spread them out on the table and it was like looking at pieces of a person's life that didn't make sense. She rested her head in her hands. When she looked in the mirrors, she didn't see either person she was. It was bothering her. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," she croaked as she let Bucky in. He looked around, while there were no snap shots of things like that, the place looked more lived in than before. The bottle of Macellan's stood just a little less empty than before, but not much on a cart with other liquors that were high quality that all look new. "Bruce said you wanted to talk to me?"

"I'm so sorry. You have no idea." She took a deep breath trying to not yell but also get her words together.

"Oh, that you killed me?" She raised an eyebrow as she squeaked.

"I'm also sorry for your loss. I know you probably could never talk to them again, but when you saw that they were there, you were trying to help them." She sat down holding her cat. "If I could take it all back, I would."

"I was hoping that you of all people would understand." She squeaked again and took a sip of her hot tea. "I didn't choose any of this. I can only control what I did and how I felt...". Melinoe started coughing and waved him off as he approached. "When I found out, I tried to make things right. It just feels like that will never be enough."

"Well, thank our for letting me talk to you." What a weird way to end a conversation, she thought. "I'll see myself out." But she followed him out anyway and locked the door behind him. Then slid down the door and rested her head on her knees. While she was glad it was over, how was she to move forward from this? Tomorrow was thanksgiving. What to be thankful for? Well, I'm alive she thought. I don't have to play a role any more. I have my cat. Screw it, Thursday and Friday no one is going to be in the lab. I'm going in.

________

She made herself a to go breakfast and brought her turkey soup for both dinner and lunch. It was blissfully quiet, she didn't even think anyone was here in the compound besides security. Still, she popped some headphones on and played some music. There was quiet and then there was the natural sounds of the building is going to mess with your head and make you think you're in a horror movie quiet. Melinoe told herself, if she got through half of the work she missed from being out today, she'd spend some time in the hot tub that was with their Olympic sized pool. And by one in the afternoon, it looked like she was going to achieve her goal.

The water felt like pure heaven as she eased herself into it. Placing a towel behind her neck and her hair up in a messy bun, she let the jets do the work the chiropractor couldn't. Perhaps a real spa day was in order. It had been basically two years since her last one, it be nice to get pampered even if she didn't get her nails painted, she could still have them shaped and buffed. A massage alone would be more than worth it. Reaching for her phone on the deck, she did a quick search. Surely, since everyone was going to be doing their shopping this tomorrow and this weekend, there had to be an opening somewhere. Ah, fantastic, yes, I want the deluxe package and add on every add on. And.... Book. Saturday morning, at 10 AM, with Sven. A little eye candy never hurt anyone. Her scars didn't weird her out anymore. Melinoe, just didn't like talking about them. She knew the real story and hated telling people it. Hmm, what lie should she invent? Saving a puppy from a burning building or a baby? She closed her eyes and leaned back thinking about what she should say. A gust of cooler wind went across her face. Sitting up more, she looked around and didn't see anyone there. Still it was enough to weird her out. Saturday couldn't come soon enough. She went and got out, heading straight for the changing rooms.

"I know, I'm sorry baby. Momma's home now." She talked to Everest as she got the cat's food ready. Her voice was still gravelly but hey at least she wasn't squeaking anymore. Arg, she remembered it was still Thanksgiving, everything on TV was going to be all holiday, happy family, impossible dream stuff, good triumphs in the end. Well, she guessed she wasn't watching TV tonight or at least for the next month. Don't do it. Don't do it. She did it. Melinoe texted Matt, she was polite and wished him a happy Thanksgiving, wishing him well.

Matt: Are you ok?

Melinoe: Yes. I know I was weird and all, but really you don't deserve my crazy.

Matt: I like you.

Melinoe: You still don't deserve it.

Matt: How come you don't exist?

Melinoe: What?

Matt: I tried to do a search on you. Different spellings of your name. Cross referenced it with the story you told me. Nothing, so you're either lying or you aren't who you say you are.

Melinoe: Because, I don't. The story I told you was real. My name was changed to protect me. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't get involved. It was to keep us both safe.

Matt: So are you like involved with the mob?

Melinoe: More like witness relocation.

Matt: So who is the real you? She sighed at his response.

Melinoe: St. Ursula's Church Orphanage, Baltimore MD. Melinoe also gave the years, the Mother superior at the time. She also told him to check the Baltimore Sun with a date and a report on a found teen in basement.

Melinoe: Who you met, while the name may not have been the right name, IS ME. I get it if you don't trust me. I get it if you find the story to be disgusting. I'm more aware of me and how I affect others than you might think and that's part of the problem. I'm sorry, I'm tired of living a lie and wanted to be honest with someone. I just wanted to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

She didn't receive any more texts from Matt that evening. Melinoe didn't wait by her phone, her cat was resting across her shoulders, which was good enough for her. At least some being loved her. Walking to her study, she sat down at the desk and began working on a large watercolor getting lost in the work. There was a thump on her ceiling, but she didn't think anything of it, probably a rat on the roof. She sent the super an email asking him to check it out. She went to bed around 4 AM. If she had checked her fire escape, she would have seen a figure clothed in red armor with horns listening to what she was doing inside.

After a couple hours of sleep, Melinoe went into the lab again. She didn't want to deal with the madness that was Black Friday. Besides, not like she had anyone to buy for but her cat. She didn't have anything to decorate with, she didn't feel like decorating either. The loss of her two friends was still eating at her. In her dreams she would see them asking her why she didn't do a better job in getting them rescued, then all the little boys and girls from the orphanage were asking her the same question, Melinoe knew it was PTSD, she didn't have to like it, but she knew the cause to it. Besides, no one could save her from herself. All she could really do was keep her mind busy with other things. Stay busy and stay calm. As she rolled into the compound's garage she was never as happy to see it as she was that day.

Making the same deal with herself, only this time for the gym with the arabesque set up. She began working stopping only to eat. Pleased with how much she got done, she tidied up her area for the weekend and started towards the gym. Melinoe changed into a workout top and bottoms that she could easily move it. The pants had slits in the side which allowed easier access to her legs for wrapping around the fabric. A jog top completed her outfit, she walked in bare feet leaving a sweatshirt, shoes, and water over on a bench. Melinoe put her hair up in a bun to keep it from getting caught on anything. She had finally gotten used to it being so long. What parts of her would she keep or get rid of , what parts were really her any more? She asked herself as she programmed a half hour's worth of music in the sound system. Twisting some of the long arabesque fabric around her wrists she started to twist and turn her way up to the top. The floating, falling, climbing and rising actions required her full attention and use of her entire body. She was pretty much alone, so if she got hurt, there would be no one to help her. The last song to play was Alanis Morissette's Uninvited. With the last note of the song, she ended her routine, her nose an inch from the floor.