Ice Princess

19

"Ah, are you ok?" Bucky was hunkered down in front of her with a concerned look on his face.

"Did you know as well?" The tears still didn't come, she wanted so badly to cry to try to get free of this feeling.

"We were hoping you'd figure it out sooner." That just made her irate. She was blind with rage at this point and pushed past him. "I hate to say it, you're so smart but you never really looked at yourself."

"Go ahead, poke fun. I don't know what in my head is the truth or a lie. None of it makes any sense."

"You know I would understand if you want to talk about it."

"Right now, I feel like I'm the butt of everyone's joke. Not only that, but you were all watching me, expecting me to turn out like Loki. And you know what, I never did anything to deserve it. I mean, I took care of Love for god's sake. Cooked for all of you..."

"And we always tested it. Love can take care of herself."

"Sorry, I don't find that comforting. If anything, you're pouring salt into a wound that has been festering." Just then Sam entered.

"Bucky, I heard Might Mouse figured it.... Out." Sam caught himself when he saw Melinoe.

"See. I'm just a big joke to you all." She left out the door.

"Sam, why did you have to say that? It's obvious that's she's hurt." Bucky told him.

________

Melinoe made her way to the roof, sitting on the edge. With no coat, she was hoping the cold would calm her down. It wasn't working, if she had food in her stomach she would have thrown it up, but she didn't eat the lunch she had bought for Matt. Melinoe heard the crunching of the gravel on the roof as someone approached.

"If you come to make fun of me or whatever at this point, get it out of your system." They sat down next to her.

"It's hard being compared to someone else, isn't it." Thor said.

"I'm not your brother. I don't even know who I am, but I and definitely not like your brother." She told him.

"I knew it from the beginning. You know how I knew. Love, you were so patient with her showing her little things, putting up her drawings in your work station. Asking about her day and remembering things she told you. Making her sweets." He said.

"Yeah, I could have poisoned her according to everyone else." Melinoe didn't bother looking at him. "Everything I did, everyone was waiting for me to fail, to cause them to get hurt, for explosions to happen."

"You know, since you came here, Love hasn't had a single nightmare. She used to have horrible nightmares about how her father and mother died."

"Was she in therapy or on meds? I thoroughly doubted I could have been the cause for that."

"No, but now she had two positive role models in her life that took time out for her and cared for her."

"I doubt it was me that did any of that."

"My brother was always looking for the easy way, ways to take advantage of the situation. You, even when you were working for HYDRA, you didn't know, yet you worked on projects that would benefit humanity. When you found out who you really worked for, you did something about it. That takes courage."

"Still if you look at all the legends and lore, Melinoe isn't a good person."

"But you are."

"I don't know why I bother. Considering the deck is so stacked against me. This is such a mess. I don't .... I don't know how to fix this."

"By your actions. Just keep being yourself."

"The thing is, I don't know who that is at all anymore. Am I Mina, the person Fury cooked up for me to be? Am I Melinoe who grew up in Baltimore as an orphan? Or am I this goddess of gloom and doom? And why was I abandoned on Earth all those years ago?"

"Daddy, is Meli going to be ok?" Love asked.

"Honey, why don't you come here?" Thor told Love.

"Oh, Meli, you look so sad." Love threw her arms around Melinoe. That's when the tears started to fall. It felt so good to receive something she'd been denied her entire life. Unconditional love. "Don't worry, Meli, everything will be ok. I love you."

As much as she always wanted to hear that, it still hurt to hear it. And to hear it from a child. While she never expected it from Matt as everything happened so quickly between the two of them, it didn't feel like it was heading that direction anyway.

"Thank you, Love. I love you, too." Love started to wipe away her tears. "How about we go inside and gets some hot chocolate? Hmmm? It's too cold for you to be out here." Hoisting the little girl onto her hip and standing up, the three went inside and Melinoe began making the promised hot chocolate.

________

After the hot chocolate, Melinoe headed home. She just wanted the day to end. What did the future hold? You couldn't write this stuff, she thought. Nothing was working, not the meditation, the long hot bath, the painting. She sat on the couch looking at the bottle of Maclellan. While Melinoe hated drinking, she needed something to make her forget, at least for a little while. It was late and there was a knock at the door. Without looking, she opened it.

"Oh great, it's you." She said looking at Bucky whose eyes were wide when he saw her. Melinoe was dressed in boy shorts and a crop top, both of which left nothing to the imagination and it was cold in the apartment, apparently. Closing the door behind him, he eyed the bottle of whiskey on the table and noted an empty glass, but it appeared the level of the liquor was still the same in the bottle. "Wait." She grabbed two coins off the coffee table. "Well, might as well get this over with." She reached down for his left hand and put it on her neck, all he had to do was squeeze. "All you have to do is squeeze." She shut her eyes. Bucky's hand felt her neck, like a little bird's. His thumb caressed her pulse point, it was steady as was her breathing. Melinoe truly was prepared to die, he thought and was accepting it without a fight. Her skin was warm and so soft, like touching the feathers of a dove. Then, Melinoe felt a prick. "Poison? Really." She collapsed as Bucky caught her. "I thought you'd be braver than that." Her words were slurred and came out breathily as her body collapsed and she went unconscious. Collapsing, Bucky caught her and picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom and covered her with the blankets.