Exposure | MikhAiah

Frozen Hands and Warm Hearts

Aiah was a little less than excited when it turned out Mikha had shown up to study, and that was all she was going to do. Any effort to branch the conversation further than what was in the book in front of them and Mikha steered it right back to Psychology. By the time they were done studying, she felt like they had never been friends to begin with. Whatever had happened between them that obviously had gone un-talked about, had completely closed Mikha off again.

Thursday went the same way. Mikha came ready to dive right in to the exciting world of Psychology and the suggestion that contrary to the need-desire-fulfillment cycle of animal instincts, human motivations sometimes obey a "getting begets wanting" rule: the more you get a reward such as self-esteem, love, drugs, or money, the more you want it.

Aiah understood the opposite. The more Mikha pulled away and gave her less of herself, the more desperate she was to have more. Someone should do a study on that.

"I read your article."

Aiah looked up from the notes on the table in front of her slowly, "Really?"

"Mmhm." Mikha hummed, turning the page in her textbook.

Aiah had been slouching in her seat, completely exhausted with studying and entirely frustrated in Mikha's lack of willingness to act like anything more than her tutor. This volunteer information, and topic that had nothing to do with Psychology was completely welcomed.

She sat up and fidgeted with her pencil, dragging the eraser along the top of the table. "What did you think?"

Mikha pursed her lips together thoughtfully, "I think... that there was nothing in it about the film developing process." She finally lifted her eyes to look at Aiah, the corners of her lip twisting into a small smile.

Aiah couldn't hold her smile at the teasing. She didn't even care that Mikha was basically calling her out for her lie about her article just to spend some time with her. She was just so happy to have back the Mikha she knew.

"Yeah." Aiah laughed, "It didn't really... flow?"

Mikha laughed and shut her textbook, "Yeah I don't buy that for a second."

Aiah laughed again and ducked her head slightly. When she looked up she was surprised to see Mikha packing up her things. "You're leaving?" Her growing happy attitude halted, as the little progress she felt they were making felt like it was coming to a sudden stop.

"Uh, yeah." Mikha kept her eyes on her bag as she put her things inside and closed it, "I think we've done enough for today. Don't you?"

"Sure. Yeah." Aiah fumbled with her things slightly as she tried to pack up quickly so she could leave with Mikha. She slung her bag over her shoulder and hugged her book to her chest as she took a few large steps to fall in line next to Mikha as they headed for the library doors. "You uh, going to be sticking around for thanksgiving?"

Mikha looked over at Aiah, studying her face for a second before pushing open the door and following her out into the cold air. It had dusted snow a few more times since their night in Lustig, but not enough to stick to the ground. The air was just cold and biting, prickling inside their lungs with every breath.

Mikha knew she had been holding back, and she knew Aiah had noticed. The nervousness on Aiah's face at such a simple question made that fact clear. It was hurting her as much as it appeared to be hurting Aiah. But since that night she had redrawn that line, deciding distance was the best thing for them both. Keeping her heart out of it was the only way for them to work.

"Yeah." Mikha knew she had to give a little more or Aiah was bound to give up on her, and that was the last thing she wanted. She just needed some time to figure out what to do now. "I have dinner with, uh, family."

"Oh, I didn't realize you had family here." Aiah tried to control her desire to ask a million questions at this small gesture of opening up.

"I have a brother at Brent, and my sister is coming to town for the day." Mikha slowed her pace as they approached the student parking lot, "And mother, of course."

Aiah nodded, trying to decide if it was better to call this conversation a success and just say goodbye or try to keep inching that door open more.

"Are you? Sticking around, I mean?" Mikha asked as they reached her car. She unlocked the door but kept it closed, turning to lean her back on the cold frame.

"Yeah!" Aiah smiled before calming her excitement of Mikha actually continuing the conversation even though she had an easy out, "I mean, me and Colet are just sticking around here. Maloi goes home because her family is only an hour away. She always brings us back stuffing that her mom makes and man, if you think Maloi makes good food you haven't had her mothers stuffing."

Mikha smiled as Aiah continued to rant about Maloi and pie and something called a Party Pie Pizza Pile that Colet was determined to finish this year.

"Sorry." Aiah tucked some hair behind her ear, "I was rambling, wasn't I?"

Mikha chuckled and turned and opened her door. She paused for a second before turning to look at Aiah over her shoulder, "How about a ride?"

Aiah smiled and rocked onto the balls of her feet, "That would be great." She quickly made her way around the car and climbed into the passenger seat as Mikha started the engine.

Things were suddenly feeling normal again. Like they had before the night of the first snowfall. But an uneasiness settled in Aiah's chest and she knew that's not what she wanted. She had to figure out what was making it so hard for her to talk to Mikha and admit her feelings.

——

Maloi, Colet and Aiah all sat around the table silently. Aiah had basically word vomited everything that had happened in the last month between her and Mikha and she was waiting for advice. An opinion. Anything. But the pair of red heads just continued to stare at her.

"Nothing?" Aiah deflated, "You really have nothing to say?"

Maloi tried to smile but it came off awkward and forced. Colet noticed and brought their hand up, their fingers rubbing gently on their chin.

"She knows something." Colet leaned towards Maloi slowly. They knew Maloi was awful under pressure and the right amount would make her spill whatever it is she knew.

Maloi's eyes widened and her posture went stiff, "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anything. Brownie?" She stood up quickly and shuffled over to the plate sitting on the counter, shoving an entire brownie in her mouth.

"You're right!" Aiah sat up taller, "She does know something!"

Maloi shook her head quickly, red curls bouncing frantically as she tried to chew the brownie in her mouth.

"Come on, Loi." Colet urged, "This is Aiah." They gestured to Aiah across the table and the brunette gave her very best puppy dog eyes.

They usually worked fairly quickly on her father and they had even worked once or twice on Mikha, but Maloi was holding strong.

"I can't." She mumbled, brownie crumbs threatening to tumble out of her mouth. She chewed a few more times then swallowed, "I can't get in the middle."

Aiah sighed and leaned her cheek in her hand, her elbow resting on the table. She knew it was no use. Maloi was like a vault when it really mattered. She had found that out her first year when she was the FloorDon and refused to repeat anything that was told to her in confidence. Aiah would be mad if she didn't think it was such a great quality about her.

"Ok fine." Aiah huffed, "If you aren't going to say anything then at least help me figure out what my problem is." She sat up and knocked her knuckles on the hard table, "Why can't I just tell Mikha I like her?"

Maloi and Colet shared a look before Maloi picked up the brownies and walked back to the table. "What do you think it is dear?" She slid the plate forward into the center of the table.

"I don't know." Aiah grabbed a brownie and took a bite, slouching in her chair. "I mean..." Her eyebrows furrowed as she really stopped to think about the entire situation.

Why has it been so hard? Her head knew she liked Mikha. Ever since the other night, her brain had been screaming at her to just say something. Say anything! And if the butterflies and breathlessness every time she saw her was an indication, then her body knew she liked her, too.

"You did mention that Mikha didn't have many people in her life." Colet offered, not very confidently, "maybe you're worried if it doesn't work out she won't have anyone?"

Maloi nodded in agreement at the idea. It wasn't totally out of the question. Mikha did keep her inner circle rather small and without Aiah it would be less of a circle and more of a short line.

"Yeah, I guess." Aiah considered it for a minute then scoffed, "I'm sure she'd find a new study buddy in no time, though."

Oh my God. That was it. It was meant to be a joke, but that's what the problem was. Every time Aiah wanted to say something or get closer to Mikha all she could think about was the parade of women from the beginning of the semester. How easily it was for Mikha to move from one to the next without seeming to care. She didn't want that to be her. She didn't want to be like one of those girls. She didn't want a quick hook up in the library once or twice.

She wanted Mikha. She wanted lazy Sundays on the couch watching Netflix and drinking hot chocolate. Date nights of ordering Chinese (with extra steamed broccoli for Joey) and looking at the stars. Trips to find new places for Mikha to take photos, hearing stories about her childhood, sharing stolen kisses and gentle touches. Sunrises in the park and sunsets in her arms. She wanted more than what she had seen Mikha offer anyone. And she wasn't sure Mikha wanted the same thing.

"Aiah?" Maloi tapped her arm gently. She had watched her go from smiling, to a look of realization, to looking completely distraught. "You ok, sweetie?"

"Uh yeah." Aiah stammered out. "I just, I have a.. test? I have a test." She stood up and looked around the room blankly, "I should go study."

She didn't study. She wasn't lying about the test, Shields was offering another midterm the next week to help level out some of the lower grades and to make the final less of a hit when it came to end of semester grades. She should have been studying, but this was Aiah. She was overthinking, instead.

Your laugh is like the sunrise.

Mikha was good with words. She had to give her that. Without even trying, it's like she spouted poetry. But Aiah wasn't sure what she meant sometimes.

Mikha was charming, sweet, and very good at getting what she wanted. She could be the most kind and sincere person Aiah had ever met. Then there were times when you just knew she was purring a well practiced, and frequently successful pick up line. Then there were times where her words fell somewhere in between and she wasn't sure if it was Mikha being guarded but sincere, or just really good at making women weak in the knees.

...even though it happens every morning, it's your favorite thing and you can't wait to wake up the next day and experience it over and over again for the rest of your life.

That was it. That was the line that rendered Aiah speechless and sent her heart in overdrive. Because that— That, was a promise of a future. Those were the words of someone who had thought of a future that was further away that one night of a good time. But they were also words so beautiful it caught her off guard and made her want to leap into the unknown and plant her feet where she was all at once.

——

Mikha brought the cup to her lips and looked over the rim lazily. She took a sip of the hot drink and felt it as it moved down into her body. Ignoring the large eyes staring at her she turned and faced the sink, using the arch of her foot to rub up and down on her other leg. A gentle bump into the back of her thigh caused her to let out a sigh and look down towards her feet.

"It's too cold." She rasped, the first words spoken since she had woken that morning.

There was a quiet wine and a slight shuffling of paws as Joey inched his way closer to her, now leaning his entire body against her leg as his tongue hung lazily out of his mouth. He tilted his head and watched her closely as she stared back at him.

"But it's Saturday." Her whining was almost as pathetic as Joeys as she set her cup down on the counter and bent slightly to scratch the top of his head.

He stood up, tail wagging and padded over to the door. He gestured with his nose at the handle and sat down, turning to watch Mikha expectantly.

Who was she kidding? That dog owned her more than she owned him.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes at the immediate wag of a tail and walked down the hall, disappearing into their room.

When she came walking back out, dressed and ready to face the cold weather, Joey was already standing at the door, leash in his mouth. She clipped it to his collar and grabbed her phone from the counter and shoved it in her pocket before she swung the door open and followed the german shepherd out.

Mikha was surprised how quickly things had gotten so cold. Usually it wasn't until December that they would see snow and even though it wasn't snowing enough to actually stick to the ground yet, it was still annoyingly cold.

Once they got to the park not too far from her apartment, Mikha let Joey off his leash to run around. She had brought her camera and snapped a few pictures of him chasing birds and digging holes. He really was her favorite.

Her phone started to buzz in her pocket so she lowered her camera and fished it out. She saw who was calling and answered immediately with a smirk.

"Enzo boy."

"Hey. You busy?" Enzo asked quickly.

"Not really, why? You miss me?" She asked, her eyes watching Joey as he explored further away.

"No." Enzo scoffed, "But... I thought maybe we could get coffee before the headache that is thanksgiving this week. You know, actually enjoy family before we have to endure dinner."

Mikha chuckled, "Yeah, I could be up for that."

"Great!" Enzo was genuinely excited, "Meet me in 20 at the shop just off campus!"

"Wait, you meant right now?" Mikha asked quickly, but it wasn't quick enough. Will had already hung up. "Of course right now." Mikha mumbled to herself as she slid her phone into her back pocket. She blew out a loud whistle and turned to start walking towards campus.

Joey caught up quickly and fell in line next to her, matching her pace. She wasn't sure why she bothered with a leash most of the time with how good he was.

She showed up at the coffee shop a little late. It would have taken less time had she gone home first and then driven over, but the sun was actually shining and she wanted to let Joey run around a little longer.

Mikha stopped at the door and pulled Joey's leash from her pocket. She was about to tie him up outside while she checked inside for Will when someone walked out through the door. Joey immediately squeezed himself between their legs and the door and ran inside, leaving Mikha outside in the cold alone.

Mikha let out a frustrated groan as she rushed inside after the German shepherd, looking quickly around the coffee shop to find him. She spotted Enzo across the shop then quickly noticed the girl sitting across the booth with him. She could only see the back of her head but it was the familiar color of honey brown hair and Joey was quickly making his way to her.

"Joey?" Aiah turned in the booth as the dog's head landed in her lap happily.

"Aiah?" Mikha walked quickly towards the booth, not sure what to make of the scene in front of her.

"Mikhs?" Aiah turned further around, eyes widening at the sight of Mikha approaching her quickly.

Enzo had been sitting silently as he watched the dog, then Mikha came running through the door. He hadn't expected the dog to go to Aiah instead of him but the flustered expression that both girls were sharing made it clear this wasn't their first meeting.

He cleared his throat and raised his hand slowly from the table, "Enzo."

Both girls turned to look at him, Aiah more amused by his joke than Mikha was. The red haired girl snapped her fingers and Joey quickly moved to sit at her feet, head down, obviously aware she wasn't happy with him.

"What are you doing here?" Aiah finally asked.

"Coffee." Was all Mikha said, her eyes shifting between Aiah and her brother. She's sure she hadn't given Will enough information to orchestrate this little meeting but she didn't know the two even knew each other.

"Have a seat then, Kitty." Enzo smiled and scooted over to make room for her.

"Wait. Kitty?" Aiah asked as Mikha looked around the coffee shop, "You guys know each other?"

Mikha sighed and pointed towards Enzo's feet. Joey immediately shuffled under the table and laid down out of sight.

"I need coffee if this is really happening." Mikha mumbled before turning and walking to the counter.

Enzo chuckled and took a sip of his coffee, "Mikha's my sister."

Aiah's jaw dropped, her head quickly turning to look between the two siblings. How she hadn't seen it before was a shock. Same intense eyes and a charm you wanted to hate but couldn't.

"Enzo's the brother you have at Brent?" Aiah asked as Mikha sat down across from her in the booth.

"The one and only." Mikha wrapped her arm around his shoulders and trapped him in a headlock, messing up his hair with her free hand. "How do you know each other?"

Enzo shoved Mikha, setting himself free and lifted his hand to tame his hair.

"Maki."
"Maki."

Enzo and Aiah answered in unison with a chuckle.

Aiah smiled at Enzo then glanced over at Mikha. Dark eyes were watching her over a hot cup of coffee, their intensity almost overwhelming. She wanted to look away but found it impossible.

"Well I should probably go." Aiah bit her bottom lip and fidgeted with her own cup of hot chocolate, "I didn't mean to interrupt your siblings date."

Mikha set her cup down gently and leaned forward slightly, "You should stay." She finally looked away from Aiah, glancing quickly at Enzo.

Enzo got the message from the look his sister was giving him and shifted in his seat, "Yeah, stay."

"You sure?" Aiah asked with a shy smile.

"Positive, cupcake." Mikha answered with a smile.

—

"Enzo, I swear to all that's holy if you don't stop talking.." Mikha pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes.

Enzo and Aiah continued to laugh at the clear embarrassment on Mikha's face.

"Amused?" Mikha glared at Will before turning back to Aiah, "You should hear the story of when Enzo peed his pants in the middle of—"

Enzo shot his hand out, covering Mikha's mouth so she couldn't finish what she was saying, his face turning completely red. Mikha smacked his hand away and gave him a smug glare. Aiah covered her own mouth with her hand, trying to control her laughter. What had started out slightly awkward actually ended up being a pretty great morning. They had shared a couple cookies and gone through their fair share of coffee and hot chocolate.

"Alright." Mikha pressed her hands on the edge of the table and leaned back to look at the dog at her feet. He let out a quiet whine and shifted, slightly antsy from laying under the table so long "This has been fun and all but I should get going."

Enzo checked his watch and nodded, "Yeah, me too."

"Give me a minute?" Mikha stood up and walked to the other side of the coffee shop towards the bathroom, leaving the other two at the table with Joey at their feet.

"Thanks for letting me crash." Aiah smiled at Enzo, her hands gripping her empty cup.

"Anytime." Will leaned back, throwing his arm on the back of the bench. "I think you actually made it better."

Aiah laughed and ducked her head a little, looking into her empty cup.

"No seriously." Enzo looked in the direction Mikha had gone, "It's been a while since I've seen her this... Mikha."

"You mean she hasn't always been broody and mysterious?" Aiah jokes, leaning her forearms on the table.

Enzo let out a laugh, "No that's always been Mikha. But, I don't know." He paused to think it over, "She's fun again."

"Again?" Aiah knew she was probably digging into things she should be hearing from Mikha, but she couldn't help it. Digging for information was second nature to her.

"Yeah." Enzo nodded and let out a sigh, "After Stacey, she just sort of shut down."

"Stacey?" Aiah tried to ask casually.

"Her ex. She hasn't mentioned her?" Will answered slowly, finally catching on to the fact that maybe Mikha hadn't said anything to Aiah.

"Uh, not exactly." Aiah scrunched up her face and shrugged a shoulder.

"Ready?" Mikha called from near the door, the two still in the booth turning quickly to look at her with slightly guilty expressions.

Joey climbed out from under the table and followed them out into the cold air. It had started to snow while they drank their coffee and flurries of snowflakes swirled around them in the slight breeze.

"I can.. walk you home?" Mikha stood close to Aiah and zipped up her jacket, avoiding eye contact. Instead, watching flakes of snow settle on the ground, some sticking while others melted quickly.