I Got the Job?

Relationhips: Anxiety

TW: vaping, swearing, semi-toxic relationship, mentions of exploiting photos, anxiety attack, fluffy Lizzie (finally moving along with her in this story), more brief talks of bad habits, anxiety meds.

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Y/N POV:

"Here you go Y/n" Lizzie handed me my coffee mid vape and I nodded my head as a thank you cause I had literally just inhaled and didn't want to blow smoke in her face. I leant away from her, blowing it out and mumbling a small thank you. Switching between vaping and sipping my coffee the three of us fell into a comfortable silence, a few side glances from Scarlett but nothing else really. "You want to try?" I rolled my eyes as I caught her once again and she scoffed, "No I was just noticing how effortlessly you switch between the two, it's like you're not even breathing air, you drink coffee, inhale flavoured vapour, drink again and then vape again" she commented and jutted her chin out looking ahead of us.

"Listen, bad habits are hard to break when you've been practising them since 14" I sighed and Lizzie discreetly held my free hand noticing how tense I was at the sudden attack from her friend. It was silent again from then on back to the trailer lot and I actually hated every second of it. They always say never meet your idols and well I guess this is why. Nothing personal on Scarlett or Lizzie I just didn't expect this much of care from them and it actually scared me. We made it to mine and Lizzie's trailer and Lizzie offered for me to join her and Scarlett in her trailer to just hang out but you wouldn't catch me dead in that trailer with the two of them, not with how I was currently getting reprimanded anyways. "I think I'm just going to finish getting myself settled into my trailer, sorry and thank you again for the coffee. Nice meeting you Scarlett" I forced a smile on my face towards the two and they each gave me a different reaction, Scarlett looked like she was figuring me out and Lizzie has a much softer look on her face.

"Call me or come knock if you need us for anything alright?" Lizzie raised an eyebrow and smiled sweetly when I nodded my head. I could feel their eyes on me when I walked back into my trailer and I felt like I could finally breathe again when they were out of sight. "Finally" I muttered and brought out my iPad, signing into my emails and checking over the new final script for my first scene. I didn't have any scenes until tomorrow morning which was good, gives me time to prepare myself for anything to go wrong. Not that I think it would just in case it does at least I'd be on top of it all. I've also got some theatre study to do only because I'm still enrolled into a lowkey company that requires progress checks while you understudy and perform. So that's always fun. I must have lost track of time because before I knew it, my phone rang out for my anxiety pills, yes I have anxiety meds so what. That timer doesn't go off it like 7:30 at night, oops...I havent had anything aside from a protein bar and that coffee Lizzie gave me at like 2pm today.

"What to eat what to eatttt" I groaned as I ferreted through the semi empty cabinets, you see with these meds I've gotta take them with food if they make me feel uneasy and currently well, there's none so I guess I'll take 'em with water and eat later. That works right? I mean technically I'm still absorbing them with food...only a little later than they've been swallowed. Oh wel, c'est la vie I guess. I downed the pills like a champ and shuddered at the powdery aftertaste sitting in my mouth, immediately drinking water to get rid of the feeling. And now we wait for half an hour for them to kick in. They're anxiety relieving and also release some calming chemicals of some sort to make me sleep better and less restless pretty much. I continued with my study until my phone rang out again, a text message this time. The fuck does he want again.

Malakai 8:40pm
Hey baby girl, racked up some cash, we're back on doll face!
—See image attached (21.4K)—

Y/n 8:42pm
Hell yeah baby! Keep some in the bathroom for emergency!

Malakai 8:45pm
Ive gotta pay up to a few boys but ill put 2 in the bathroom,
hows work, any hot chicks i can trophy u up to?
Gotta show 'em i own the best pretty girl out there!
Also your pics make a killing for cash princess

What the fuck?

Y/n 8:53
Babe what? Appreciate the confidence boost about showing me off
But what the fuck about pics? You know they're private
I'm not a whore.

Malakai 8:54
Baby they were paying so much! We needed the money.
Plus your body is BANGIN, who wouldn't pay for that!

Y/n 9:00
Ok.
Hey they need me for filming talk tomorrow?

Malakai 9:02
Of course, ill keep you updated if i need anything
Make it rain princess!

Oh my god. I literally got pimped out by my boyfriend. I threw my phone across the trailer room, it hitting the pillows on the small couch. I actually feel sick. I slid my back down the kitchen cabinets to the floor and I took a few deep breaths trying to control my heart as I could feel it beating inside my chest, holding back a choked sob. My hands were shaking and my mind was racing. Oh my god, okay well this isn't good for the meds, I grabbed my water bottle and tried to drink some water to calm myself down but nothing seemed to be settling my heart racing. I clicked on the only contact I had other than Kai and his family, the line picking up almost immediately. "Lizzie can you come to me please" I choked out and got a short verbal answer I couldn't make out. Not a moment later and she unlocked my trailer door, assessing the room and state I was in before approaching carefully but quickly.

"Woah hey breathe" she put a hand on my back but froze when I tensed up, "I wont hurt you but you need to ground yourself, take a breath and let it go when you feel my hand push in and out on your back" she spoke softly, her hands resting behind my ribcage as she pressed in and out. "It's not- Lizzie its not working" I coughed out, tears starting to blur my vision. I could tell she was stressing and that stressed me out even more, before I could spiral any further she grabbed me swiftly and pulled me in for a hug. She grabbed my hand and held it on her chest but struggled when I tried to resist as I was pretty much pressing my hand just above her boob. "Stop, focus on my heart not my boob you goof" she told me sternly with a hint of humour. "God Y/n even I can feel your pulse through your veins" she murmured and kissed the top of my head. "S-sorry" I managed to whisper out, shutting my eyes when a hand ran over a former bruise on my back.

She kept me like that until my pulse wasn't that outstanding in my veins and my breathing was a little more normal, turning my body upwards so we were face to face. I looked away when she raised an eyebrow wanting answers. "Boy pr-" "-problems" she finished my sentence and I looked down feeling totally exposed. "Care to tell me or is it another mystery?" She lightly reprimanded and I shrunk down off to the side of her. "Just relationship drama, typical boy behaviour" I chuckled embarrassedly trying to brush her off. "Well sorry throw reality to you but normal boy behaviour doesn't send you in a panic frenzy" she scolded lightly with a hint of something in her voice but I couldn't quite tell. "I'm an anxious person, anything throws me into a panic frenzy" I sighed and played with the end of my hoodie sleeves. "I'm sorry honey" that's all she said.

"Have you eaten anything? I didn't see you come out of your trailer since we got back and I know these trailers don't come stocked up" she asked as she stood up from our position on the floor and checked out the tiny pantry compartment, noticing the protein bar box opened and the coffee tin opened as well. "You had another coffee?" She turned around and looked at me with a slightly intimidating stare. "Uhm yes, I needed energy to study" I stood up as well and kicked the floor sheepishly. "You didn't think of food?" She let out a loud exhale making me wince.

"It wasn't the first thing that came to mind" I replied honestly. "No wonder your body got anxious so bad. Too much coffee mixed with vaping causes so much anxiety sweetheart. Let's go to my trailer to get you something to eat, Scarlett and I got sushi and there's way too much left overs but I'm sure I've got something else if you're not a fan of it" she took my hand and left no room for argument as I was quite literally dragged to her trailer. Oh god, well I guess its time she figures out my shitty eating habits to.