Drama

Why Not?

The drive was silent. Maybe it helped that it was close to midnight, and the road back to downtown Seoul from where we were earlier was mostly empty at this hour on a Sunday night, but there was a feeling of unease, at least from my side. I glanced at the driver, my husband, and I found no trace of unease on his face.

"Fin..." I called him.
"Hm?" he hummed, concentrating on the road.

I bit my lip. Should I? He never liked to be questioned. We've been married for almost three years now. And I knew he never liked to be questioned. Still... I had to ask.

"Why... Did you do it?" I asked, a little cautiously.
"Do what?" he asked, although I knew he already knew what I was referring to. I sighed.
"You know what I'm talking about..." I said tiredly, looking out the car window, watching the wheezing landscape, "... Why... Why do we do this? All of this."

Fin didn't reply directly. He never did. If there was one thing I appreciated from him, it was that he never spoke out of emotion, neither in a fit of rage nor a burst of joy, at least when he's talking with me. He always thinks before he speaks, and he always takes his time before answering.

"I've explained many times, haven't I, Sweetheart?" he replied.
"Humor me again," I said passingly.
"May I ask why you're asking me to repeat my explanation again?" he asked.
"Because..." I said, turning to look at him, "... When I agreed to return to this country with you last year, when I agreed to your charade as Park Sungmin, when I agreed to become Black Mamba with you... I thought it was all simply you doing your political moves to ensure Lee Kangdae's victory."
"And isn't that what we're currently doing?" Fin asked, his voice carried genuine confusion.

I sighed as I rested my head on the window again.

"Don't play dumb, Fin..." I muttered, "... I can tolerate releasing Giselle and Chaewon's tapes. I can tolerate forcing Shin Haneul to join the cause. I can tolerate fighting against the IPG in Kwangnya... I can tolerate Fearless..."
"But there are things that bother you..." Fin completed my words. I nodded.
"I mean... Using Haseul and Yeojin as bait? I told you specifically when I agreed to join this cause, that there is to be no harm done to my sisters," I said. Fin sighed.
"I told you already... It was just a threat, Sweetheart. Nothing more. Kangdae and I, we didn't plan on harming them at all. It was just the quickest way to get Shin Haneul to agree to join us," he said.
"What about tonight, then?" I asked. Fin took a second to glance at me.
"What... Capturing Kang Junyeong? You know we can't let him just run free. Chaewon is IPG, and if he tells her what he saw tonight, our plans will go––"
"Not that. The bomb. Why?" I cut him off. "You saw that Heejin and Jinsoul were with them! You could've killed them!"
"But I didn't," he defended himself, "They're alive."
"I don't care about the other IPG members, but you promised me you will not touch my sisters! Heejin and Jinsoul are my sisters, Fin!" I snapped.

I wanted to believe that my words had silenced him, that he was secretly admitting that I was right, that what happened tonight was a little too close to comfort, that he could very possibly hurt Heejin and Jinsoul... But I knew that wasn't the case. Fin's silence only meant he was thinking. I didn't even have to look at him to know that he was again choosing the right words to say, and it took him a while.

"Sweetheart, listen," he said eventually, "The bomb was a calculated risk. We knew once we captured Junyeong, the IPG would be there to try and rescue him, even if we confused them with the misdirect to Yangcheon-gu. We needed to send a message to stop them from pestering us, but Heejin and Jinsoul were never the targets.. I would never put your sisters in harm's way."
"Calculated risk?" I echoed, my voice trembling with anger. "You're playing with their lives, Fin! Junyeong-ssi was right! This isn't a game!"
"It's not a game," he said, his voice low and steady. "It's war. And in war, sometimes we have to take risks. But I will always protect what matters to you... To us."