It hurts (edited)

6

BUCK’S P.O.V. [ thoughts are italics]             [ flashbacks are bold italics]

All I want to do is curl up and cry. I just zone onto my bandaged arm opposite from where Eddie is standing to my right. Eddie suddenly moves forward, his arm outstretched. I flinch on instinct regardless of the fact that it’s Eddie. The day at
the grocery store going through my head as well as the night after his fight. He must think I’m weak, sitting here flinching at every movement and crying like a baby. “I’m sorry” I whisper into the silence. Eddie advances towards me again, this time I fight the urge to flinch. I feel his arms snake around me. At first I freeze not expecting the touch, then I melt into his embrace. It feels since to finally be hugged, to finally have a positive physical interaction. The hug feels warm. I forgot how much I liked hugs, especially Eddies. I feel his arms unwrap from me as he backs away, and I start to feel cold.

“Buck, I’m just gonna go talk to the nurse for a second and ask some questions. Will you be ok for a few seconds?” Eddie says, his voice and face dripping with concern.

“I’m an adult Ed’s I’ll be fine” I reply flashing a quick smirk. “Plus not like I can go anywhere!” I add rattling the cuffs a little laughing. I see his eyes widen as he takes a step towards me, hand reaching. “Hey…hey Ed’s… look at my face… look at me…I wasn’t trying to tug on them ok… just being Buck… making an inappropriately timed joke. I’m ok Eddie, you go do your thing and I will take a nap alright.” I flash another smile, this time a sad but genuine one. Eddie’s hand retreats as he takes a step back, we sit in silence until he just nods and turns towards the door. I smile with what I hope in an engorging smile, nodding him to go. He exits quickly.

I feel my chest constricting again, I close my eyes and try to breathe. I’ve done enough crying; he probably thinks I’m weak. I don’t deserve to cry; I did this to myself. I hear the door rattle and sit up a bit “Hey handsome, that didn’t take long…” I open my eyes and stop talking. The nurse from earlier stands in the door frozen, one hand reaching to his pocket the other loosely holding a file “Sorry I thought you where Eddie” I say quickly the blood draining from my face. The nurse just smiles.

“It’s fine Evan” the nurse says, I now realize it’s the nurse that sedated me. I also realize that my joking statement at Eddie perfectly suits the nurse. His hazel eyes sparkle in the hospital lights, you can barely see the stubble on his chiseled jaw in the shadow casted by the light.

“It’s Buck, not Evan” I state with a lobsided grin. The nurse slowly approaches the bed to check my vitals. The hand that ventured into the pocket comes out to reveal a key. I see movement from the corner of my eye, I look up to see Eddie come in the door and make is way to the opposite side of the bed from the doctor. I’m so distracted by Eddie that I don’t realize that the nurse unlocked the cuffs, I notice Eddie glancing at my wrists worriedly. I look down, to realize I’m rubbing mt wrist. I quickly stop and fist the sheets. “Sorry” I whisper out looking down.

EDDIE’S P.O.V. [ thoughts are italics]        [ flashbacks are bold italics]

I watch as Buck zones onto his bandaged arm opposite from where I stand. I move forward, my arm outstretched. My heart breaks a little more watching him flinch. The day at the grocery store going through my head as well as the night after my fight. I’ve hurt him, and yet he was still willing to come back. “I’m sorry” I hear, I snap my head towards him. His whisper sounds so broken. I advance again this time slower. I watch him grimace fighting the urge to flinch. I snake my arms around his slender figure. At first I feel him freeze, my stomach plummets and guilt floods me. Then I feel him melt into my embrace. It feels since to have him in my arms again. I feel warmth spread through my chest at the thought of keeping him in my arms. I drop my arms from him and take a step back.
“Buck, I’m just gonna go talk to the nurse for a second and ask some questions. Will you be ok for a few seconds?” I says,  concern and worry filling me at the thought of what he might do if left alone.

“I’m an adult Ed’s I’ll be fine” he replies flashing his cheeky smirk. “Plus not like I can go anywhere!” he says rattling the cuffs laughing a little. Panic takes me and I step towards him ,my hand reaching. “Hey…hey Ed’s… look at my face… look at me…I wasn’t trying to tug on them ok… just being Buck… making an inappropriately timed joke. I’m ok Eddie, you go do your thing and I will take a nap alright.” Buck face breaks as he speaks. He flashes another smile, this time a sad one. My hand retreats as I take a step back. I nod, not knowing what to say, not sure if I can even form coherent words and turn towards the door. I see him smile in my peripherals, nodding for me to go. I exit quickly not sure how much longer I could take seeing him so broken.

I feel my chest constricting, I lean against the door, close my eyes and try to breathe. I see a nurse walking our way and stop him. “Hey do you mind unlocking my friend I thinks he is ok now.” I state with a questioning undertone while pointing at Bucks door. I watch as he nods and moves towards the door, I step out of the way to let him enter first. “Hey handsome, that didn’t take long…” I hear after the door is open, I feel a pull at my heart at the comment. The nurse in front of me freezes, one hand reaching to his pocket the other loosely holding a file. I stay at the door not wanting to intrude “Sorry I thought you where Eddie” I hear Buck say, pride fills me at the thought of him thinking I’m Handsome. Confusion soon follows, why am I feeling like this towards my best friend?
“It’s fine Evan” the nurse says, I get a bit mad at the nurse calling Buck Evan, nobody calls him that, he doesn’t like it. I mean Maddy does but even then he is hesitant to answer.

“It’s Buck, not Evan” Buck states with a lobsided grin. The nurse slowly approaches the bed to check his vitals. The hand that ventured into the pocket comes out to reveal a key. I watch Bucks head snap my way as I come in the door and make my way to the opposite side of the bed from the doctor. I huff a little, he is so distracted by me that he doesn’t realize that the nurse unlocked the cuffs. I glance at his wrists worriedly as he rubs them. I see the nurse doing the same. Buck follows my gaze down to his wrist. I watch him stop quickly and fist the sheets. “Sorry” I hear him whisper looking down.