Gone (h.s.)

Chapter 31

"Maybe they're right." I whisper to myself

I start to think of the most painful way that I could go. I start to cry. What did I do to anyone?

There's many ways I could go, shooting myself, oh but how would I get a gun? Overdosing? No that's not painful enough. Hanging myself? No, it's so.. it's just so.. I don't know. Stabbing myself? no.

Then it hits me. A painful suicide.

I get up, anger rushing through my body and tears running down my face. I walk to the backyard, And to the large piles of brick.

I attempt to pick one up. Holy shit that is freaking heavy.

But I ignore the weight of it and just pick it up with all my might and walk back inside and up to the bathroom.

I take a piece of paper and a pencil after I set the brick on the side and turn on the water to fill up the tub, and start to write.

Dear whomever is reading this,

I've struggled too long and I can't go on. I loved you Harry, but you didn't love me. You were my first everything. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first time, my first love, the first time I ever felt happy in a very long, long time. But as I see, I was your first nothing and you never loved me. Tell my mother I love her and that she doesn't have to cry over me.

I only made things worse. Tell Zayn that I hope this is what he wanted, he can have his little Harry back. I never had him in the first place.

I've cut and done drugs and gotten so god damned drunk and it still never helped numb the pain, none if it. After I go through with this, there's no going back and I'll have no regrets because this 'life' I'm living, it's not something that anyone could carry on. But if anyone could, I know it could never be me.

Don't let anyone cry over me, I'm not worth their tears.

Goodbye,
Natalie Allister

I fold up the paper and place it on the sink in the bathroom.

By then, the tub has filled up to the top. I shut the faucet off and grab the large brick and get in the tub, faced up and wipe away my tears before I place the brick on my chest, pulling me down to the bottom of the deep, large bathtub.

Slowly, I feel the oxygen being taken away from me, water being inhaled, burning as it goes down my lungs. I stop feeling everything, I feel at peace. I look up to the surface, the smooth white ceiling starting to fade and I feel heavy, very heavy. I close my eyes and feel my fucked up world fade away. And then, I'm gone.

__________________

Well okay. So this was my big ending. I've had this ending planned out since I started writing this and that's why it's called gone.

So this chapter is not the last, as I am going to write a few more chapters, maybe three or four?

today's pun is.....

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha?

okay bye ilyasm and I hope you liked my idea of an ending.

-Noura;)