Fake It Til You Make It

14

Esmeray got out of the pool and Cameron playfully splashed her as she walked past to get her phone. Her smile and giggling quickly faded when she realized she had 10 messages and 4 missed calls from Ryan. He sent one more text that read: I'm on the way to get you. We need to talk.

"Fuck," Esmeray cursed under her breath.

"What?" Cameron questioned. Esmeray quickly began putting her clothes on and gathering her bags. "What happened?"

"I have to go," she told him vaguely.

"You're leaving? Why?" Cameron gets out of the pool and wraps a towel around his waist. Esmeray still wasn't answering him as she headed towards the stairs. "Esmeray!"

She dashed out the door and ran down the street to meet Ryan before he got to the front of the house. She threw all the bags in the backseat and swung the passenger door open.

"You're soaking wet." Ryan points out.

"Why are you here, Ryan?"

"Why are you?"

Esmeray sighs and gets into the car. "You didn't have to get me, Ryan."

"So I'm supposed to sit around and wait for you. I want you to talk to me, Essy." Esmeray stayed silent, focusing on the sky as he drove. "We kissed. And it meant a lot to me. Did it mean anything to you?"

"Of course it did. Can we just talk about this when we get to my house?"

After a painfully silent ride and stolen glances from each other, they reached Esmeray's house and Ryan rushed to open the door for her and carry her bags in.

"Ryan! It's so good to see you." her mom greets him with a cheerful smile and warm hug. "What a gentleman, carrying her bags for her."

"It's good to see you, too, Mrs. Díaz." Ryan returns the smile and follows Esmeray upstairs. He sits on the bed and watches as she moves between the bedroom and the bathroom. Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck and her shorts were completely soaked. She was getting more and more overwhelmed by the second. "Essy, breathe. Sit with me."

Ryan's soft voice persuaded her to take a deep breath and sit on the bed with him.

"I want to do it again," Ryan tells her.

"Do what?"

"Kiss you." he leans in closer to her. "Tell me it meant something to you."

Esmeray exhales nervously. "You're my best friend, Ryan. Our friendship is one of the most important things to me."

"I love you," Ryan confesses. His hand softly caressed her cheek. "I am in love with you and I know I shouldn't be but I don't want to be just your best friend anymore."

Ryan's eyes twinkled as he looked at her. He cared about her, he wanted to love her. Despite Esmeray's lifelong streak of choosing to be single, she wanted to be loved. Esmeray wanted to be loved by someone who knew her and understood her. She never would've thought that person would be Ryan but the way he looks at her tells her everything she needs to know.

Her breathing became heavy as Ryan's hand carefully rested on her thigh. There was no distance between them. Their knees touched and their faces got closer and closer to each other. Esmeray could feel her heart beating out of her chest.

His hand slowly moved up her thigh. "Tell me to stop," he whispered, teasing her with a smirk. Esmeray found her hand on the back of Ryan's neck but she hesitated to let their lips touch. His hand slid to the inside of her thigh and he could feel the warmth between her legs. Esmeray finally gave in and crashed her lips into his. She could feel the smile grow on his face as he kissed her passionately. His hands wandered about her body, tempted to untie her bikini top but he wanted to wait for her call.

His hand found its way back down her torso. Esmeray was so enthralled by his hand wrapped around her neck and his teeth softly biting her lip that she didn't notice his other hand was in her bikini bottoms and between her thighs. She moaned softly when his fingers circled her clit, sending goosebumps down her arms.

She felt her hips buck forward as he kissed her neck and she bit her lip with pleasure. She grabbed his chin and their lips met again while his fingers started moving quicker. He quickly went back to kissing her neck when she dropped her head back as she got closer to climaxing.

Ryan's soft grunts while he kissed her were enough to make Esmeray forget everything and go all the way with Ryan. But she finished and he began taking his shirt off and she remembered.

"Wait, wait," she says softly. "I—I don't want to go any further."

"That's okay. We don't have to." Ryan assured her. Esmeray let out an exasperated sigh and fell back on the bed.

"Just give me time."

Ryan couldn't help but feel confused. She wasn't telling him no, but she wasn't telling him yes. But if he wanted anything to work between him and Esmeray, she had to remain in control. "Of course," he replied compliantly.

~~~

Esmeray came into work the next day with an intense feeling of brain fog. Ryan left shortly after everything but she
stayed up all night replaying the moment in her head.

She went to the back to clock in and then joined Cameron hunched over the front counter. She looks at him, waiting for him to say something but it's like he doesn't see her next to him.

"Hello to you, too," she says but he doesn't even look at her. "You good?" she questions. He still doesn't respond or pay Esmeray any mind. She waves her hand in front of his face. "Hello?"

"I'm chill." he groans finally as he backs away from her hand.

"You don't seem very chill." Esmeray points out.

"I'm chilling, leave me alone." he was obviously upset about something.

Esmeray began trying to find reasons in her head for why Cameron would be acting so cold to her. "Are you upset?"

"I don't want to talk to you, Esmeray," Cameron grunted.

Esmeray looked at Cameron with a puzzled expression on her face. Cameron hadn't been this mean to her in a while. He said the same thing to her on Valentine's Day in the 6th grade. His friends decided to put fake love letters in Esmeray's locker and convinced her they were from Cameron.

Esmeray was too naive to read through their games. She marched up to him during lunch while he was surrounded by his friends who told Esmeray. She was gullible enough to confess that she wanted a Valentine and since he liked her, he could be her Valentine.

She had the same puzzled look on her face when they all burst out laughing.

"I don't want to talk to you, Esmeray." he spat. She didn't like him. She never did. But he didn't have to be so cruel.

They kept their distance for the remainder of their shift. He left before her, forcing her to have to close up. Valentina rushed to the shop shortly after Cameron left.

"What are you doing? I thought Ryan was picking me up." Esmeray questioned her.

"Change of plans. Look," Valentina shoved her phone's bright screen in Esmeray's face, revealing a video of her and Ryan going into the bathroom at the party.

"What is this?"

"Someone posted it," Valentina admits. Esmeray thinks nothing of it but then remembers what happened after that video was taken. Surely, Cameron had to have seen the video and figured out that Esmeray lied to him.