Fake It Til You Make It

27

Esmeray beamed as she and Cameron finally made it to their surprise date destination. They arrived at the arcade in coordinating outfits because Esmeray insisted she wore her favorite pair of jorts, a black tube top, and her White Thunder Jordan's to match Cameron's jorts, black t-shirt, with White Thunder Jordan's. She smiled at him widely while he held the door open for her.

A wave of nostalgia rushed over Esmeray. Her family used to come to this arcade every once in a while when she was younger. They came for special occasions, family gatherings, or whenever the kids could convince the adults to bring them just for fun. When she was 12, Esmeray's dad got arrested and no one felt the spirit of the arcade. Except for Esmeray and her cousin, Daria. Daria was all Esmeray had when her dad went to prison. Daria's dad took the girls to the arcade every other weekend. Granted, Daria had to clean the whole house up and down every time before he even thought about driving them anywhere, but Daria didn't mind and Esmeray always looked forward to the second weekend so she could see Daria and go to the arcade.

Esmeray finds an open table for her and Cameron to sit at. It'd been so long since she and Cameron had just sat and talked.

"This is cute. I love the arcade," Esmeray told him. "What made you bring us here?"

"You love the boardwalk. I can just tell you have some connection to it. Tell me about it." Cameron places his hand in Esmeray's.

"I do love the boardwalk. My family used to live at the boardwalk," Esmeray giggled softly. "Me, and my cousins, my obnoxious uncles, my aunts, and my mom and dad. We would go to the aquarium, get on all the rides until one of my uncles got sick, and see all the performances. Then, my dad went to prison and everyone stopped coming. Not me and Daria, though." Esmeray spoke about her family with adoration, a warm smile on her face. But that was only the family they were before her dad went to jail and Daria died.

Cameron smiled at Esmeray and squeezed her hand gently. "Daria had to deep clean her house every other weekend to convince her dad to take us to the arcade. Even though she lived with three, messy younger boys, she did it just so we could hang out." Esmeray continued.

"So you came here every other weekend?"

"I came to the boardwalk almost every day. Val and Ryan and I came all the time after school." Esmeray responds. "I have been stuck in Miami my entire life. I love it here but I have to get out. Daria wanted to get out, I need to get out for her."

Cameron thought about Esmeray's words. She wants to leave Miami while Cameron is stuck, handcuffed to his dad's business. It worried him to think about how things would be if Esmeray left. However, now was not the time to bring that up, so Cameron shoved it down.

"Did Valentina and Ryan ever meet Daria?" Cameron questioned.

"No, whenever Daria and I were together, we were glued to each other's hips. She was like my sister, we told each other everything, and we shared everything, she was the only person who was there for me when I didn't even want to live after my dad went to prison. I didn't want to share her, as crazy as that sounds." Esmeray tells Cameron. She surprised herself—telling Cameron so much about Daria.

"It doesn't sound crazy. You had someone who cared about you and understood you. To lose her... I'm sorry." Esmeray felt tears form in her eyes and she quickly pulled her hands away from Cameron, laughing to replace the tears. Cameron stood up and joined Esmeray on the other side of the table. "Hey, I care about you too. And I want to understand you."

"I never talk about Daria because the memories are so, I guess, sacred to me. Sharing them with anyone else feels like betraying Daria." Esmeray sighs heavily.

"You told me. Do you feel like you betrayed her?" he asked her.

"No, I actually feel better. I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from Daria's death, but talking about it, not holding on to it makes me feel lighter." Esmeray admitted. Cameron smiled at her triumphantly.

"Good, you don't have to hold onto anything." Cameron's hands cupped Esmeray's face and he kissed her forehead lovingly. "Let's go hit these games, I'm beating you at basketball."

"I would love to see you try," Esmeray dared him as she followed him through the arcade. She stopped going with Valentina and Ryan a while after Daria died. It just wasn't the same anymore. Cameron reached his hand out behind him and Esmeray caught up to hold on. If there was anyone else Esmeray would want to come to the arcade with, it would be Cameron.

~~~

Esmeray shut her room door and began rummaging through her closet and dresser for something perfect to wear in from of Cameron's parents—something that would make them dislike her less.

Cameron took a seat on Esmeray's bed and tracked her as she moved around the room trying on clothes and taking clothes off.

Esmeray slipped on a navy blue long-sleeve shirt and stared at it indecisively in the mirror. "Okay, tell me everything I need to know about your parents," Esmeray says as she begins searching for pants to go with the top.

Cameron looks at her with an unserious expression and chuckles to himself. "There's not much to know. All you need to do is be yourself. They only have a problem with you because they don't know you." he told her. There was no amount of advice Cameron could give Esmeray. Cameron's parents were unpredictable, he knew that best. No matter how much Esmeray knows or how hard she tries to impress them, they can always find a reason to hold a grudge.

His response didn't seem to satisfy Esmeray because she simply questioned, "What else?" to which Cameron furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Nothing else, Essy, just do you," he responds. Esmeray pulled up a pair of dark blue flare jeans and buttoned them, turning around in the mirror to get a better look at the outfit.

"Do you like these jeans? Or this outfit at all?" she asked him, looking at him through the mirror.

Cameron smiled at her before responding, "Yes, mama, you look good."

Esmeray spun around on her heels, smiling at Cameron before she sat down next to him.

"So, what is it that you don't tell me when we talk about your parents? What happened?" she asked him.

Cameron stayed quiet, caught off guard. Thinking about it, he felt every bit of fear, anger, and sadness that he felt as a 10-year-old boy when he was just near his dad. All the anxiety he felt thinking any little move he made would upset his father.

"I'm not used to this shit, Esmeray," Cameron finally spoke gruffly.

"I know. But you have to talk to me, Cam. I can see how much this weighs on you. It doesn't have to." Esmeray held Cameron's hands tightly. "I want to understand you too."