All too much

14

Madeleine Genevieve Devereaux

It was 1am by the time I got home and I was completely exhausted, I wanted to crawl into bed and cry after seeing Lando today. Seeing him bought back all the feelings I was trying to suppress and the rest of the night I just pictured him with Magui and them doing the things that we did. I couldn't get over the fact that he lied to me and told me he didn't sleep with her, it would have been easier if he just told me the truth.

I remembered that he wanted to talk but in all honesty I don't think I have it in me to speak to him. Kylian was hyping me up and telling me to do it, while Olivia was telling me to fuck him and to not speak to him.

But I think we both deserve some sort of closure after having time to cool down and think about things so I sent him a quick message telling him to come over. I know he was still out because Max posted on instagram a video of them at the casino and it didn't take long for him to reply and tell me he was on his way.

My apartment was a bit of a mess since I never unpacked my suitcases properly but right now I didn't care, normally I would've freaked out with it being this messy. Thank god Olivia and Kylian were staying at a hotel not far from me because I wouldn't have been in the right mind to host them at my house.

Fifteen minutes later I was buzzing Lando up and preparing myself mentally to talk to him. I don't know why this thing between us was affecting me so much, we weren't together long. But for some reason it was troubling me more than the relationship I was in for three years.

Lando knocks on my door and I hesitantly open it, we both just stand there for a while not knowing what to do.

"Come in." I finally say, moving aside to let him walk in.

"Hi." He mumbles, sitting down on my sofa. The same sofa we cuddled on and watched countless movies while eating junk food that definitely wasn't in my diet plan or his.

"Hi." I murmur, sitting down on the love seat across from him. I didn't want to be too close to him in case I just end up hugging him.

"How are you?" He questions, running a hand through his hair. It was a nervous habit for him, it always told me when he felt uncomfortable or anxious.

"I'm okay, I've been better." I tell him, playing with my necklace. "How are you?"

"Not great, I was fucked over in Hungry." He sighs, leaning back into the sofa.

"I saw, p2 isn't bad Lando and you did a good thing for Oscar." I still hated how he degraded his achievements and made it seem like he wasn't good enough when he put his teammate above himself.

"You watched the race?" He looks up at me in confusion. "You hate F1."

"I don't hate it." I roll my eyes. "I just never understood it but I told you Will explained some of it to me in Barcelona."

"Oh yeah."

"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask, I wanted to get straight to the point and I know we would beat around the bush for as long as possible if I didn't.

"Mads I'm so sorry about everything. I know I've said it before but I mean it, I'm really sorry. I should've told you about everything with me and Magui from the beginning but I just didn't think. These past few months have been the best I've had in a while and it's all because of you. I messed up and I know you don't have a reason to forgive or trust me but I want to try and earn it back." He says, sitting up on the sofa and looking me dead in the eyes. He obviously doesn't know I know that he slept with Magui which made me mad again.

"I understand we all make mistakes but you lied to me after I asked you to tell me the truth." I frown, as he looked up at me with bewildered expression.

"I did tell you the truth, what are you talking about?" He asked, confusion written on his face.

"No you never!" I state, getting angry when he lied again. "I spoke to Magui in Portugal, she told me you two had sex when I was in New York. You lied."

"Mads I honestly don't know what you're talking about! I never slept with her. If she said that then lying." He responds, reaching out to grab my hand. "I promise you, I never had sex with her."

"Then why would she say that?" I question, clearing my throat as my voice cracked slightly.

"I don't know but she's lying. Maddie I swear I wouldn't do that to you." He replies, squeezing my hand as if he was desperate for me to believe him.

"Okay I believe you." I say after a moment of silence, searching his eyes for any lies and he immediately lets out a breath of relief.

"Thank God." He mumbles, "you have no idea how relieved I am right now."

"Lando this doesn't mean we're back together." I tell him, watching his face drop. "I still think we moved too fast and maybe we need to slow things down."

"Okay I understand that, but we're going to try and work things out right?" He asks, looking at me with hope.

"Yeah, we are." I smile as he lights up immediately.

We spend the rest of the night talking and catching up on what we missed, I reassured him about ten times that me and Kylian were just friends and he told me about Magui sending him pictures of us two on the yacht. I wanted to slap the bitch but I was going to be the bigger person and just ignore her, she wanted attention and I wasn't going to give her that.

"Do you want to come out to eat with me, Olivia and Kylian tomorrow?" I question sleepily. We were cuddled up on the sofa and I missed this so much.

"I can't, we're shooting tomorrow for Quadrant." He yawns, "but come over to my house and we can hang out before I leave for Belgium."

"Okay."

"Do you want to come to Belgium with me?" He asks nervously. I could feel him tense slightly making me smile.

"I'd love too." I tell him, grinning. I feel him relax and then his breathing even out as he falls asleep. I let out a little laugh and how fast he can sleep anywhere.

I enjoy being in his arms for a few more minutes before sleep overcomes me and I fall into the most peaceful sleep I've had in two weeks.