Days without you

Chapter 9: EPILOGUE

Today, I've learned something important. Keeping secrets or telling lies to your partner is just not sustainable. Aside from harmless white lies, constant deception can erode trust and lead to an unhealthy relationship, ultimately going nowhere.

Reflecting on this, I've reached a consensus that addressing our issues truthfully is key to resolving conflicts effectively. When we communicate honestly, it fosters understanding of each other's perspectives and enables us to work together towards solutions.

I wasn't aware of how important I could be in your life, Tristan. I didn't realize that my absence would affect you mentally. I didn't understand that losing me would cause you so much hurt. And I wasn't fully aware of the depth of your love for me until I heard you crying so intensely over the phone. I didn't grasp all of this until you begged me not to repeat my actions.

I didn't realize how deeply my lies hurt you. Please trust me when I say it wasn't intentional. I never intended to cause you pain or take your feelings for granted.

I made the wrong move not to tell you cause, I have my reasons, Tristan. You are tired and stress from the offshore job and with your well-being is just making things worse. I should be concentrating on you and not myself. You are my priority now ever since I have you in my life.

The incident happened suddenly, and my memory of it is blurry. I was feeling unwell, mentioning to my team about a terrible headache and sleepless night. But without warning, I collapsed as we were preparing for our annual after-hours gathering. All I could think of in that moment was you, Tristan. Fear crept in—what if this was my final goodbye? What if our plans were shattered, and we never got to see each other again, to hug, to kiss, to cuddle under blankets together?

I was terrified to close my eyes, feeling as though I was being pulled into unconsciousness, almost like being drugged. The last thing I recall is a sharp slap across my face, jolting me into darkness. It felt like the end, as everything faded into nothingness.

Then, I saw you, Tristan. Yes, I saw you moving between rooms in the dark, searching for something. I tried to reach out to you, but you seemed unaware of my presence. I nearly grasped your shoulder, but you vanished before I could touch you. I sank to the ground, crying out for you, but no one responded. The darkness felt suffocating, and despite my pleas for help and attempts to open a door, no one came. I remained trapped for hours, consumed by tears and despair.

At one point, I glimpsed a bright light shining through a peephole, filling me with hope that someone had finally noticed me. And there you were, Tristan. You appeared and helped me unlock the door, but you left without a word, without even glancing back at me. I screamed your name, my eyes wide open, but you dissolved into nothingness, vanishing before my eyes.

As consciousness returned, I found myself surrounded by numerous bright lights, engulfed in an all-encompassing white. Was I already dead? Where was everyone I knew? And why wasn't a familiar face by my side? Where was I? I noticed blood stains on my clothing, intensifying my confusion. What had happened to me?

Doctors swiftly approached, bombarding me with questions. It was terrifying, to say the least. It seemed that despite my fear, fate hadn't yet decided to take me away. It wasn't my time to go, I suppose. In that moment, I finally grasped the reality: I was alive.

Honey, to be honest, I've never had a guy cry over me before, and you're the first. I'm truly sorry for what I've done to you and your life.

I want you to know that you are the greatest gift god has ever sent to me. I almost lost my life, but you were there, saving me and saving my life.

I love you with all my heart, Tristan. With every fiber of my being.

I wrote this entry just for you.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

Yours Sincerely,

Thea Tristan James

9 May 2024

01:50hrs

-THE END-