RAW #2 FLASHBACKS

EIGHT

  When I was eight I was already in the third grade. I remember that Christmas Julie had to get hip surgery. Everybody was scared and worried. Would you believe me if I told you that while she was in surgery a part of me prayed she would die? Just for a second. 

  I wasn't happy she had surgery but I was happy she wouldn't touch me during this time because she was in a wheelchair for a while then had to get used to back to walking. I pretty much disassociated this time until summer of 2000, when I was nine and a half. 

  But to keep this chapter from being too short I do remember we had taken in a lot of foster kids. Oh yeah, I was adopted and my adoptive parents were foster parents who took in young kids often. 

  I remember Kayla. I liked her. But she had been molested by her dad. Yet she cried for her dad every night. I didn't understand it. I was happy Julie wasn't near me for this time and I was secretly hoping she wouldn't touch me again. 

  Kayla and I got a long very well...until she touched me. I let her touch me. Again I was lost during this year. Processing trauma I never went to therapy for. Processing all the terrible things Bill and Julie had done to me for over three years. 

  Kayla stayed with us for a few months. 

  When she left and the summer of 2000 came I felt like a shock went through my system and woke me up.