RAW #2 FLASHBACKS

ELEVEN CONTD

  After that night I began to realize this abuse was never going to end.

  I spent my days living in fear.

  Knowing Julie could strike at any time. 

  Julie molested and raped me pretty much every chance she got. 

  I don't know why she chose me as her victim. 

  I hated her with every fiber of my being. 

  Mom and dad had no idea what was going on.

  Julie hid it well. 

  Every time she hurt me I begged God to make it stop.

  But God didn't listen to me.

  I acted out because of all the abuse.

  Mom thought there was a demon in me and I spent a lot of time being spanked with a wooden paddle or being sent in time out or my mom would sit and lecture me for hours with words from the bible and messages from our pastor. 

  I had anxiety, depression, ptsd and cptsd. 

  But that all went undiagnosed for years. 

  Nobody understood the hell I was living in. 

  It was a secret Julie and I shared for many years to come...