Hollywood Forever: For Better or For Worse

Chapter 13: A Date and A Confession

Mackie and Seb were gone, and the house was back to its usual silence. I would like to think I've gotten used to it, but the truth is, I haven't. I want Chris and I to go back to who we were before, but who were we to begin with? We love each other and want to spend forever together, but we're not on the same page 24/7. Isn't that what relationships are about? Being compatible no matter what. I wish Mama LeBlanc was still here. She would know what to say.

"The reservation is at our favorite place," Chris, in a singing tone, came into the bathroom, looking at his watch, "And we have 10 minutes to get there, so I need you..." His eyes locked with mine. A soft smile plastered across his face, and his eyes twinkled. There was a warmth in his gaze, an adoration that used to make my heart skip a beat. Now, it felt like a gentle reminder of what we had and what we could still have. I could see his love for me in every glance, and every gesture, but inside, I felt a hollow indifference. Not because I didn't care, but because I wanted more than just to make our relationship work. I wanted to work on myself first. His affection was genuine and earnest, yet my mind drifted to the endless list of things I needed to fix within myself. The thought of Mama LeBlanc's wisdom lingered, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would say about balancing self-love with love for another.

Chris chuckles, "Sometimes, I forget how beautiful you are, Y/N." He smiles down at me, then reaches out for my hand. Our fingers link together, and our hands fit perfectly together. My mind wanders away again, to thoughts of before. "And, I've taken you for granted." He continued, his voice softening. I nodded absentmindedly, my heart a mix of gratitude for his words and a yearning for what we had.

I let go of his hand and turned back to the mirror. "I'm ready if you are," I said calmly, though the butterflies in my stomach were getting louder with every step he took toward me. Chris stood behind me, watching as I struggled to put on my necklace. He reached forward and took the necklace into his hands. He watched my face for confirmation. It was one of those moments where he knew instinctively to be careful like I was a fragile vase and he was trying to avoid breaking me. As soon as he finished, I turned around to face him. I smiled softly at him, letting my eyes linger on him. "Thank you," I whispered, and my smile was enough. He nodded, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. Then, he walked away.

I took another deep breath. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears, and I could practically feel the nerves radiating from my body. I stared at myself in the mirror and tried to find any way to calm my shaking hands. The only thing that seemed to help was focusing on something else and letting out all my anxieties. I focused on the sound of my heels clicking against the floor as I headed downstairs. In the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water and took a long sip. I leaned over the table and placed the empty bottle next to the glass. When I straightened, I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection and noticed Chris was looking at me too.

"Everything okay?" He asked, but I just nodded, keeping my head high. He looked at me with a concerned frown, and he reached out for me. He stopped himself before he touched me, but I moved away instead. His face remained stoic, even after I had left the kitchen. His eyes, however, held a look of longing that made him look years older and more vulnerable. It hurt me to know he must be thinking that I don't love him anymore. I do, but... I don't know.

Chris and I left the house and got into the car. The ride was quiet. There wasn't much conversation between us. I glanced at Chris several times during the car ride, but when I did, he looked away. Eventually, we pulled into the restaurant and parked, which wasn't a restaurant at all. I started at the ice cream sign buzzing reflection. Chris smiled over at me, "I wanted to recreate our first date."

I shook my head, "No, our first date was you taking me to an Italian restaurant." He just rolled his eyes, "Technically, it was the ice cream date on your birthday when we were confusing each other." He admitted with a sly smirk, "Back when a kiss between friends was just that."