Crush - Paige Bueckers

7 - Contact

Paige

It's been a week since I saw Violet at the bar. Everyday since then she's been on my mind. 24/7.

I stare at my phone screen, my thumb hovering over Violet's instagram profile. I scroll through her recent posts— each picture a reminder what we had and what I ruined.

The blue light of my phone screen casts a ghostly glow over my dorm room, making the walls seem even closer than they really are.

My heart races as I contemplate the message I'm  about to send. Two years of silence and it all comes down to this.

I'm not good at this kind of thing. Apologizing. Opening up. Especially when it comes to her.

Every time I think about that night at the bar, my chest tightens. Seeing her cry broke something inside of me. Just like it did that night two years ago.

She left the bar before I could say anything real, anything that mattered. Now, I have to try again.

With a deep breath, I begin typing:

Violet Brown
instagram
2,450 followers • 23 posts
You follow them

Hey Violet. It's Paige. I'm really sorry about what happened at the bar. And just about everything. Can we talk? Like, really talk. While we're both sober.

I hit send before I can overthink it. I set my phone down on my desk and lean back into my chair, exhaling a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

The room feels too quiet now, the silence pressing in on me. I close my eyes, hoping she'll reply and fearing she won't.

My mind drifts back to high school. I remember all the moments we shared. Every touch, every laugh, every cuddle. All of it was so innocent, yet it meant the world to me. But I couldn't let her know. I couldn't let anyone know. My family's beliefs were a cage, and I was trapped inside, afraid of what would happen if I stepped out.

I remember the night we almost kissed. We were in my room, the air between us electric. I could feel the pull, the desire. But it was interrupted.

The first notification sound startled me, and I grab my phone with shaking hands. It's a message from Violet. My heart pounds as I open it.

Violet Brown
instagram
2,450 followers • 23 posts
You follow them

Hey Violet. It's Paige. I'm really sorry about what happened at the bar. And just about everything. Can we talk? Like, really talk. While we're both sober

Paige. I don't know what to say. I've been trying to move on, but seeing you again brought everything back. I don't know if I can do this.

Her words hit me hard. I type out a response, my fingers moving quickly, almost desperately.

Violet Brown
instagram
2,450 followers • 23 posts
You follow them

Hey Violet. It's Paige. I'm really sorry about what happened at the bar. And just about everything. Can we talk? Like, really talk. While we're both sober

Paige. I don't know what to say. I've been trying to move on, but seeing you again brought everything back. I don't know if I can do this.