Crush - Paige Bueckers

11 - Out

Paige

I'm lying on my bed in my room, scrolling through my phone absentmindedly, when a headline catches my eye. It writes, "Violet Brown and Leo Plaza: Yale's New Power Couple." My heart stops. 

I click on the article, fearing what I am about to see. When I open it, a picture of Violet and Leo holding hands walking out of the Yale basketball arena pops up. Violet is smiling big at Leo, her eyes fixed on him. He walks beside her, not looking at her but smiling. 

Leo is famous in the college basketball world, and I can't help but feel jealous. Not necessarily for his skills, because, well, I'm also famous in the basketball world, but that he gets to have her. My Violet. 

Dropping my phone, I bury my face in my hands. How did I let things get so messed up? I need to clear my head, so I grab my basketball gear and head to the gym, hoping practice will help.

The walk to the gym feels longer than usual. Every step is weighed down by thoughts of Violet and Leo. By the time I step onto the court, my mind is still swirling with images of them together.

The sound of the ball hitting the court echoes through the gym as I start warming up. I aim for a shot, but it bounces off the rim. Frustrated, I try again, and again, each miss only adding to my frustration. My passes are off, my shots are clumsy— it's like my body is here, but my mind is miles away.

"Paige, what's going on?" Azzi asks, pulling me aside after I miss yet another shot. Her eyes are full of concern. "You're not yourself lately."

I force a smile, but it feels hollow. "I'm fine, Azzi. Just a little distracted."

Azzi frowns, clearly not convinced. "You've been off for a while now. Talk to me. What's really going on?"

Nika joins us, her expression equally worried. "Yeah, Paige. You can tell us. We care about you a lot."

I swallow hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. "It's just...personal stuff. Nothing to worry about."

Azzi and Nika exchange a glance but don't press further. "Alright," Azzi says gently. "But if you need to talk, we're here for you."

I continue on with practice, and we begin playing a 2 on 2. I'm paired up with Dorka, and we're going against Azzi and Aaliyah. 

"Hey we got this!" Dorka exclaims, high fiving me and getting in position.

I smile and high five her back, but I know I'm just going to let her down. I can't focus with everything going on.

The game begins, and Dorka passes me the ball. I run up the court and land at the 3 point line where Azzi already waits for me. She guards me hard, sliding her hand out occasionally to try and steal the ball.

I dribble low, then go up to take the 3 but am immediately blocked by Azzi.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath. 

The game continues on, and I'm once again given the ball by Dorka who is now running into the paint. I pass her the ball under Aaliyah, finding Dorka, but the pass is shanked and it goes out of bounds. 

"Fuck!" I scream, my voice echoing throughout the gym. Everyone heads turn towards me and my face goes red.

"Paige! My office, now!" Geno yells as he begins to walk up to the Coach's office above the gym. As I follow him, I look around, seeing my teammates looking disappointed. I'm supposed to be one of their leaders, but I've let them down. I've let everyone down. 

I trudge up the stairs, feeling the weight of every step. When we reach Geno's office, the door creaks open, and I step inside, closing it behind me. The room is dimly lit, the only light coming from the desk lamp that casts long shadows across the walls.