Shattered Pieces (Wattys 2024)

Chapter 35 Regret

Marks POV

Staring out of my office window does not help with how frustrated I am feeling. 

Sapphire doesn't know I have been putting my walls up. The reason is I feel like a worthless mate. She has never given me any reason to feel like this, but I can't help it. I'm happy and scared at the same time that Sapphire is my mate. She has given up too much for me.

All my life I have had my mum on my case about being Sapphire's mate and bringing her home where she belongs. I started to imagine her being my mate and the love of my life. I can see our future together with heaps of pups running around.

When it turned out that the moon goddess blessed me with the mate of my dreams, I started to get scared that I was not worthy of her because I found out that she was born first and was meant to be the future alpha. It is my fault that she didn't take her birthplace in the pack. I can't believe she gave up being the Alpha to be with me. If I were born an Alpha, then she would never have had to make that choice.

I can hear her enter the room before she wraps her arms around my waist. Her touch calms my entire body, making it a bit easier to process my thoughts.

"Mark! What's wrong? You are scaring me." I can hear the anguish in her voice, but I don't know how to respond to her question. How do I tell her that I am not worthy of her love?

I take a deep breath before turning around, and starting this conversation.

I retake a big breath, then turn around to face her, my heart nearly stops with the look on her face, she looks anxious. She still has her arms around my waist not letting me go until she knows what is happening.

"Everyone keeps telling me, I'm so lucky to have you" I hate how my voice sounds jagged.

Confusion is written all over her face, how can she not see a problem being with me?

"I feel like I pressured you into mating with me because I am scared of losing you, the rogue attack heightened how scared I am. I never wanted to take the choice away from you." I turn my head away from her so I can't look at her face to see the repulsion in her eyes when she sees how scared I am.

"Mark look at me! You didn't pressure me into anything, I wanted to mate with you, if I'm honest I wanted to do it even before the attack" She takes a deep breath before carrying on. "The rogue attack made me realise that I can't live without you, I feel like I pressured you into mating with me," 

I find that hard to believe "You were born to be an Alpha or Luna, and ended up being demoted as a Beta Female." I sigh out frustrated again. "You even gave up being an Alpha so you could be with me!" I shout out frustrated, even I can hear the disgust in my voice.

"You should have been mated to an alpha ..... I'm not worthy enough to be your mate. I'm sorry you are stuck with me."

She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out of her mouth that is hanging open. She pulls away from me and slightly releases me, I would too if I were her!

She puts both her hands on the side of my face, gently moving my head, to make me look at her. Sparks from her touch are making my body and head have a battle.

"I am the lucky one, thank you for being a Beta." She gives me her bright smile that lights up her face.

I can't understand why she is thanking me. I pull away from her angry as hell.

"What! You can't mean that? How can you say thank you, you are lower than you should be?" I get more enraged.

"No!" She yells at me, just as angry as I am "When I was growing up, my dad's best friends from school eventually were the alpha, beta, and gamma." She starts to pace the office, waving her hands around, and throwing dirty looks my way. Finally, she understands what I'm trying to say to her.