Back to you

4 ~ face the truth.

last night I sort of cried myself to sleep which caused the red puffy eyes I had this morning, I don't know why it had hurt me so bad that Pablo now has a girlfriend, I need to admit that I did have a crush on him a while before London and all but that's a long time ago, I think it's the fact he didn't even bother to tell me and also the fact it's litterally my childhood bestfriend while she also knew I had a crush on him when we were younger. I guess I just need to face the truth sadly.

I was getting ready to literally do nothing the whole day, no one was home, I was alone. I kind of needed that for today I think. I haven't talked to Pablo since yesterday evening he went straight home this morning and I didn't see him again. Even tho I did feel betrayed, awkward, and sad in this situation I also felt bad for him his girlfriend got into a car accident, I'm not sure how bad it was or could've been but it's still must've been a shock like he said, but the fact that that's also my childhood best friend kina makes it worse cus I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, am I supposed to go see her, or do I text her or do I kiest leave it? I don't know. But for now Im not gonna need to know what to do. I'm also deciding what to do with Pablo, I'm sure we can't spend the summer with the two of us like I wished we could since he now has a girlfriend. It's weird that I literally came here to spend my summer with him and he probably doesn't even wanna spend it with me. Well I still have my family to hang around so it's okay i guess.

I just can't get around the fact they are a couple now while that was my dream when I was young.

I decided to go on a walk to clear my head a bit, I was wearing sweatpants cause I wasn't planning on seeing anyone today, so I looked like shit.
I grabbed my keys and went outside it wasn't hot outside like the usual around these times. It was great weather for me I liked the weather when it wasn't at its hottest.

I arrived at the beach and sat on the bench, there weren't a lot of people around just some other people taking a walk on the beach with their dogs or alone or as a couple. I was thinking about stuff trying to get my mind of everything I didn't actually didn't wanna think about right now when my phone rang.

It was Pablo.

I was not in the mood to talk to him but still I pressed the accept button.

The phone call:
(The text with this line under it is Pablo)

Hey, where are you?

Why do you wanna know?

Can't I know?

Actually no, you can't

Well why not?

Because I just wanna be alone right now

Who says I'm gonna come visit you

No one,  but I know you Pablo

Okay whatever, then just tell me where you are

No I'm sorry I can't do that, I'll talk to you later Pablo, bye.

And with that the conversation ended.

I didn't wanna talk to Pablo, that was obvious.
But what was not obvious is that I don't wanna talk to him because it's Pablo or because I just really don't wanna talk to anyone at this point.
I didn't know.
Little did I know i was gonna find out about that soon.

It had been awhile. I've been spending my day at the beach on a random bench but I didn't unlike it, I have been here for almost an hour now and I didn't get tired or bored yet. I also wasn't planning on getting tired or bored. I was in my thoughts when I heard footsteps approach me I looked around and I saw

Pablo.

You must be fucking kidding me.
I told him I didn't wanna talk.
I didn't even tell him my location.
God Pablo the smart boy that you are.

'What's up?' I asked him in an annoyed bored voice while I was looking back at the water again. 'Don't be moody right now please' he answers. 'Pablo I told you I didn't want to talk, why are you here then?'
'You said you wanted to be alone that's not the same as not wanting to talk to someone' 'Pablo stop being like this, I'm being serious why can't you leave me alone for just now?' I respond back at him being done with this game. 'I have a question for you' he says totally ignoring what I've just asked him. 'What is it?' I sighed 'how do you feel about it?'
'About what?' I asked him knowing damn well what he meant
'You know what I mean leya don't act dumb'  he responds
'Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about?' I say still acting like I don't have a clue
'I'm talking about my fucking relationship with sienna' he then says slightly getting irritated by my behaviour. 'Right I'm sorry I forgot but um I don't think how I feel about that really matters does it Pablo?' I respond also getting irritated. 'Pablo you haven't seen my in a year we were best friends and you didn't even plan on telling me you were dating my childhood best friend, but now that I'm here talking to you in person you suddenly care?' I say. 'I'm sorry' he spoke 'I know you are and I forgive you but I just really need an explanation? Please?'
'You'll get that one day'
'No Pablo that's not good enough, I need one now'
'I promise you we will get to that point one day' he says
'Pablo your here now why don't you just explain?'
'Cause I need to explain it together with sienna'
'I don't think sienna wants to see me anyway' I say
'Bullshit, and even if she doesn't I didn't care, you guys are gonna see each other, just wait' he says
'Whatever'
'Have a good day leya'
'Have a good day Pablo' I respond and with that he walked off.

Writer: maybe a little short ? I don't know but it's midnight and I have school tmr so I need to get some sleep,
Ily all❤️