𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩

Chapter Two | November 30th

We went to a different park. All of us including the boys. Not the parents of course, we were just to cool for them back then. It made me happy and nervous to know Jonathan was going to be with us. The day was hot and sunny. Blue raspberry snow cones would melt so quickly and drip onto my hands and become this stinky sensation. Later when the moon started to rise, more of our friends joined us. The laughter and the tears from laughing still linger in my memory. It had started to get cold, the sun had gone down. I don't know how but i guess Darian noticed. He let me borrow his jacket. I thought, wow. A boy gave me his jacket, it felt like butterflies were flying crazy in my stomach. I hung around with him the rest of the night. We sat next to each other on the rides. It felt like the world was giving me something good.

We went back to the airbnb, and we all got ready for bed. Well at least the parents did, we stayed up and watched movies. Trying to keep quiet or else someone would wake up and we'd get in trouble. The next morning, we all packed up and got ready to head out. We drove to a restaurant to eat some breakfast. The food was good, i don't remember what i got. Maybe pancakes and eggs. After our meal we walked out and we stayed talking for a bit. I would try to talk to Darian and everyone else would talk about as well. "Do you remember my name?" i ask him, teasingly. He takes a deep breathe and starts thinking. I mean he actually had to think to remember. Shouldn't that have been a sign? "Kelsey?" he asks unsure and scared, like if he says the wrong answer i would kill him. He looked at his phone at my contact and realized his mistake. He says as if a lightbulb has flickered in his mind. "Oh! It's Kasey" I looked at him in disbelief. "Wow.. you didn't remember my name." i tsk. I don't remember anything after that, I just remember saying goodbye and texting a little groupchat we made of all of us. The most i remember was crying, the whole way back home. Silently hoping no one would notice. Crying, because i was scared and thought i would never see the boy who gave me his jacket. How could i not see it? How could i not realize how crazy i was becoming? A 19 year old with a 12 year old.

Thankfully for little 12 year old me, that wasn't the last time i saw him. Instead of our friend group being us four, it was now seven. Every now and then, we'd all gather up at our local Chili's. We'd eat and talk. About what? I don't know, i don't remember, and im pretty sure i would be better off not knowing. Throughout these months, me and Darian talked. A lot. His name would live on my notifications screen.

"Do you like him?" my sister asked one day while we were getting ready for the group to come over to our place. "What? No" i denied. Why? Why did i deny? I regret it everyday and i will for the rest of my life. As time passed by, we watched a horror movie. Me and darian sat next to each other under a blanket. I feel my phone vibrate, i pick it up and see he sent me a message. Why would he text me if i sat right next to him? I open it. It read "Want to play a game?" No. I should've said no. "Sure, what game?" "it's a game where i touch a part of you and if you want me to keep going u tap once, if u want me to stop you tap twice" Oblivious little me. "Ok" He started from my arm sliding up and stopping randomly. His touch felt weird, not like Jonathan's. He moved his hand to my thigh. My heart stopped for a second. He kept going like i was signaling him to. He brought it closer and closer to where now i know where he wanted it to be. I grew uncomfortable and tapped his twice. He kept going slowly, and kept tapping him repeatedly. He stopped.

All this time, between the months of december up to march, we would talk everyday. Whether it'd be video call or messaging. I would stay up on school nights just to talk to him. One day, i told him, how i felt. Big mistake. Doesn't everyone know that it's the guy who should confess first? What happened to she fell first but he fell harder? I told him trying to be subtle about it but he knew. I felt happy for some reason, from him knowing. But he never said it back.

Another time where we all met up at my place, we watched a movie again. Of course me and darian sat next to each other again. I mean who wouldn't want to sit next to boy that they liked? This time he texted me again while we were next to each other. I'd like to forget about this the most and i slowly have. What i can say is that now i know what i perverted creep he was. Asking me to where something else next time. Shorts? No. A dress. I told him i don't think my mom would let me. Of course she wouldn't, a dress that shows most of myself in front of guys whose hormones are bouncing up and down. I told him i'd try. "Don't wear underwear next time" pops up on my screen. I agreed. How could i agree? He also told me he wanted me to grab him. Down there. Thankfully there wasn't a next time.

There's not much to do here in Florida. Well in the area we live in, at least. Ice skating is something we usually do every year. We were all in the same car, i was in the back with Darian and Jonathan. I sat next to window, Darian in the middle, and Jonathan on the right window. Him and Darian were both talking, i didn't really want to get in to the conversation, i didn't really care about the topic they were talking about. I was tired, i didn't really feel like going out. His shoulder was right there, like a pillow. I didn't want to be rude and just put my head on it, so i put my arm on his shoulder and then laid on it. Just stayed there for a bit. "Just put your head on my shoulder, you don't have to put your arm" he spoke and his words were like a shock to the heart. It felt like i was on a hospital bed, doctors surrounding me, pressing the defibrillator to my chest. Clear!

One day, i sat by the pool with my cousin, Heather and my sister, Kailey. They kept on asking me what's going on with Darian, i kept on denying and hiding. "You can trust us." Heather said in a calm comforting tone. I knew i could, but i was scared. So, i typed it out on my phone. Everything. Except the part about the underwear and him wanting me to touch him. I don't think i could ever tell that to anyone. As they read it, i bit my nails, my lips, the inside of my mouth. Nervously looking at them. Water sprouting in heathers eyes, made me realize something wasn't right. All i can remember were her tears and her painful words. "He groomed you Kasey, don't you see?" she sobbed. My sister sat there next to her in disbelief. "I want you to block him, erase him from everywhere, don't talk to him again, we're not going to either" she insisted. No. I can't, i can't lose him. I did the one thing i could think of. I defended him. I defended that disgusting creature. Thankfully they snapped me out of it. I went home and blocked him and called him out. He was a dick, it's the best word to describe him. All this time he was doing all of this to me, traumatizing me, using me, assaulting me. He had a girlfriend.

It was hard for the first couple of days but i escaped, i ran before anything went worst. Running from him was the best thing I ever could've done in my life. At 12 years old, i was groomed. By my friend, by my cousin Heather's cousin. By the guy I trusted, and shared all of me.