Yourself

Help in return

There was a palpable undertone of unease in the air, and Leda was unable to shake it as Reiner walked her to the door. She saw that even though she tried to fill the void between them with a ton of meaningless words and information, he hardly touched the bun he had purchased and continued to act as though he was absentminded. He barely responded to her, simply occasionally nodding. Even his farewell seemed apathetic and hurried. He seemed eager to put an end to it, and as she shut the door, a feeling of melancholy descended. Leda felt the emotional distance more deeply than the physical separation, and it still hurt.

Seeking a distraction, she lost herself in the comfortable routine of cleaning the house in an attempt to divert her attention. The broom's repetitive sweep and the plates' clattering became  an attempt to ignore thoughts of how they had become estranged.

Head down in her cleaning task, Leda  passed her late grandmother's room, unopened since the funeral, . She took a deep breath and opened the door, letting the silence fill the room around her. As she entered, the memory-filled air welcomed her and she was faced with the silenced remains of a life that had been preserved. She methodically started putting away all the remnants of memories in her late grandmother's room. Quietly, she placed every object , her eyes almost never lingering on anything like she was reluctant on putting away her grandmother's belongings as if that meant closing  once and for all a chapter of her life, sealing away the last memory of a far gone innocence.

After a long afternoon of cleaning, alone in her kitchen, Leda prepared a meal for herself. She sat down to eat,  in quiet contemplation. The weight of emotions seemed to overshadow any desire for sustenance, and overwhelmed by emotions, Leda decided to discard the untouched meal. With a heavy sigh, she disposed of the food and headed straight to her room.

Leda looked out her window toward Reiner's residence for a moment before going to bed. The soft glow emanating from his home painted with flickering soft golden sparks the shadows on the old, dusty walls of his place. As she observed, a subtle curiosity lingered in her gaze; catching a glimpse of Reiner entering his own room, Leda's gaze lingered for a moment before she turned away, allowing the curtain to fall back into place.

A hint of embarrassment tinged Leda's cheeks, while the curiosity and a strange feeling she haven't felt in a long time mad way in her mind; she knew it was wrong and inappropriate yet she couldn't resist the urge for a second glimpse. Peeking once more, her curiosity momentarily overcame any unease, capturing a passing shadow clouding his eyes, Leda noticed a subtle discomfort in Reiner's demeanor as he settled into his room. Her stomach twisted and dropped as she saw him sitting on his bed, too small for him, and grabbing his head with his hands and in a heartbeat, without even realizing, she was running down the stairs towards his house to that shared lot between their houses.

She remained under his window for a solid minute before taking a small pebble and throwing it at his window, just like she used to when they were kids

Reiner shrugged from the sound. He didn't understand what happened at first, but then a childhood memory popped up in his head and his facial expression softened. He got up from his bed and headed to the window to see exactly what he expected to see - petite figure of Leda. He gestured her with his index finger, indicating that he'll be out in a minute. He quickly grabbed the armband and pulled it over the shirt he was wearing and also took a glance in the mirror - he looked tired and hair was slightly disheveled, he did not have his hair cut for pretty long time and it looks a little messy. Not that he cared much, but he didn't want to look terrible in front of Leda, he didn't want to be pitied. Because he didn't deserve as much, he thought to himself.

Silently he got down the stairs and got out the house on the porch. Same silently, he got closer to Leda. It was already pretty dark, and lightly cold.

"Hey" - Reiner called Leda over in whisper - "you okay?" - he asked sheepishly. What else is he supposed to ask? Did she just come to speak with him? Really?