Yourself

Nightmares

The rest of the evening passed in an unfamiliar for Reiner atmosphere of tranquillity, for the moment he was lost in the feeling - it seemed like it has always been like this, that this evening was not an exception but the rule. Some background thoughts still reminded him that he shouldn't melt into this peaceful being, but for this mere moment, Reiner sincerely enjoyed this tranquillity of Leda's house and her presence.

Once it was already bedtime and Reiner got some spare bed linen, he even found himself smiling at the possibility to sleep somewhat comfortably, or at least that's what he hoped for.

Before going to bed, he knocked on Leda's door. He had a strong desire to simply thank her and wish good night. This evening on the watchtower and this little idyll he got into.

She appeared behind the door barely open with a mix of surprise and concern on her face.

"Something wrong? The sheets were ripped or something?"

The evening went surprisingly well, everything was so calm, peaceful, it almost seemed a consolidated routine of theirs. She did manage to block her unrequited feelings in the back of her mind and actually enjoy the evening without worrying too much.

Sometimes a voice inside of her head tried to worm its way in her peaceful state asking

Was he like this with his "friends" in Paradis? Did they see him smiling like this everyday? Was he really happier there?

Every time that question crawled inside of her mind she just widened her smile or cracked a joke, found a way to make him giggle ( or at least making him doing that weird sound he considered a giggle) and fought away the thought.

So, despite everything going relatively smoothly the first reaction she had when he knocked at her door was a startled one. She opened the door a little more.

Reiner locked his hands behind his back, when a crack in the door of Leda's bedroom opened and Leda's figure appeared in the crack.

"No, no" - Reiner mumbled with a subtle smile - "I just wanted to thank you. For the evening and for putting me up at your house. For help in general. And good night, though I guess I've told that already" - he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

Reiner nervously shifted from one leg to another.

"Okay, so, good night" - he mumbled again and gestured something weird, probably a goodbye wave.

I am saying in for the third time, I better stop - he thought, accepting the fact that it might look weird to Leda, but he meant good - just to show some gratitude.

"Okay, not bothering anymore tonight" - he chuckled, as usual nervously.

"You are not bothering, silly! It's good to hear so many goodnights after many years of going to bed without no one saying it to me. I'd really could get used to that."

She thought of mentioning something about missing a goodnight kiss too but refrained from saying it out loud, she decided they'll be just friends as he wanted, after all.

"Actually, I wanted to thank you as well. This evening has been just marvellous, I missed having you around home. It felt so familiar."

A warm smile softened her whole face, she really meant what she was saying, she also really wanted to hug him once again just like they did on the staircase of the watchtower but couldn't find the courage to do it.

It was all too confusing, a moment he is distant, the second after he is smiling relaxed, he could go from not talking to her to grabbing her hand in public like it was the most natural thing in the world. But all of that didn't matter anymore.

"So...good night, I guess?"

Reiner hummed something unclear at first, his body language was telling, that he was awkward.