Tony & Fanny

Close Call

Kimberly was getting bored again. She needed to turn up the heat under Mr. Wilson's frying pan if she wanted to get him to jump into the fire. She knew all things were possible with fear. It was the same tool God used – brimstone and fire. The trick was to get him stampeding in the direction of the desired cliff.

The answer was her Pablo.

She planted the seed early one morning at breakfast.

"You know dad Fanny goes on about you all the time."

"She does?"

"Yes sir. She's always watching you while you work. 'Big strong man like that,' she told me, 'You're mother must be a very happy woman.'"

"Me?"

That afternoon at lunch Kimberly listened closely when her dad answered the telephone.

"Yeah?" he said. "Hi Fanny. –Your sink? –I'll be right up."

Kimberly wasn't surprised. She plugged the sink up herself with a soft bar of soap. By the time her dad got up there it would have melted away.

"I'm so glad you could come," Mr. Wilson said, pointing to the sink.

"Looks fine to me," Pablo said, staring down the drain.

Mr. Wilson stared down the drain too – his body touching Pablo's – his boob brushing up against his hairy arm.

That's when it dawned on Pablo.

He – a big strong man was alone with Fanny – a handsome woman in her tenement. The wily hussy must have cooked up this excuse just to get them alone. That's why she was all gussied like she was in her short little bathrobe – her boobs and bottom ripe and ready for the picking.

"You know a sink drain is a lot like a woman?" Pablo whispered into Mr. Wilson's ear.

"Pardon?"

"Every once in a while, it just has got to be snaked out."

"Oh my—"

"You want me too."

"I want you to what?"

"Say it – say, 'Please Pablo snake my pipe out.'"

Please Pablo snake my pipe out."

Pablo couldn't believe it. She'd actually said it. He grabbed Mr. Wilson round the waist with one arm and pressed his butt up tight against the kitchen counter. With the other hand he cupped the back of his head – forcing his face close to his.

"You want it don't you."

"Oh, my goodness."

Pablo opened Mr. Wilson's Kimono, his breasts spilling out.

"Bad girl." Pablo slid his hand down Mr. Wilson's chest and stomach slipping his thumb under the waist of his panty.

"I going to snake you out good."

"Please no Pablo," Mr. Wilson begged. All he could think of was his secret that lay just inches away from the other man's fingertip. What then, he screamed in his head, What then?

"Dad?" Kimberly said. "Mom wants you."

Pablo sprang back from him.

Mr. Wilson clutched the opening of his Kimono closed tight hiding his breasts.

"It looks fine now Fanny," her dad winked. "You want, give me a call I'll snake her out good for you." Pablo patted Kimberly on the head was he walked out.

Way to go dad, she thought.

"Thank God you came in!" Mr. Wilson gasped, hugging the girl.

"Fanny, what almost happened?"

"He almost found out."

"He'd kill you," Kimberly whispered in his ear. "They'd all kill you."

"Who?"

"The men. It's your fault. You came on to them. You tricked them. They're men who've been kissed and more by another man – that's you."

"But—"

"You're a man. What would you do?"

"I wish I'd never listened to that stupid Ms. Mannerisms. You've got to help me, Kimberly."

"We'll have to think of a way so no one will ever even think you're a guy again."

"Yes, but what?"

"Don't you worry Mr. Wilson," Kimberly smiled padding his head. "We'll come up with of something."