Ruin my life | Maxley

Chapter 13

TW: I use the f slur in this chapter, I will censor it but I am queer and can use this word, it is used to emphasis Bradley's fathers homophobia and hence Bradley's internalised homophobia, it does not reflect my views of the LGTBQ+ community

Max's pov:
I couldn't breathe.
I thought Bradley liked me, I really did. And at the very least I thought if he didn't like me it would be because he didn't want to get with a guy (he definitely had some issues with internalized homophobia) but for him to be with tank? It made everything feel so wrong.

Bobby was back at the apartment now and I went up to him and collapsed into his arms, I couldn't hold back my tears and I felt like screaming. Bobby's was comforting- he was my best friend- but all I could think of was Bradley; him comforting me in the cell, him cuddling me last night, how loved he made me feel, how much hope he bought to me. My heart felt as if it had shattered into a million pieces, I hadn't felt like this since Roxanne and I had hoped to never feel that way ever again.
When I started to develop feelings for Bradley I knew there was a risk I could get my heart broken, after all that's kinda just what comes along with liking someone, but I didn't think it would get this bad, I didn't ever think that this would happen..

"Dude it's going to be alright.."
"No it's not!"
I didn't mean to lash out at Bobby -he hadn't done anything wrong- but I just couldn't control my emotions at the moment. It felt like there was a war going on inside my head tearing away at me with every breath I took.

I stepped back from Bobby and went towards my room
"I'm going to bed."

I went into my room and threw myself onto my bed. I didn't wanna think about anything, I didn't even want to be alive right now. I debated going and getting a joint but I didn't have enough motivation to get off of my bed. So, I forced my eyes shut and hoped that I would fall asleep, because then I could be free from this pain.

Bradley's pov:
Nothing felt real, and I wished none of it was real.

How the fuck could I have let this happen? When me and Tank stopped seeing each other is was because I never wanted to feel like that again, I never wanted to feel like I owed someone my love, like I owed someone my body.... Plus tank was a guy.

That was always the issue; everyone I liked was a guy, and I was a guy. I know it wasn't a crime to be gay, and hell when other people were gay I didn't care, but it was different for me. It was different for my family.

When my mother had left for another woman, my father sat me and my sister down for a 'chat'. He had told us that
"if either of you two ever become a f***ot like her you will never be welcome in this family again, you will have nothing to do with the Uppercrust family and you will no longer exist to me. Do I make myself clear?"

After that he let my sister go, she had always been quite rebellious and a bit of a wild card, much more like my mother than my father, so he didn't really care what she did. She didn't know it but father had told me she had already been written out of his will, everything was going to me and the family business. I had always been the one who was supposed to carry on the family legacy, my father's prodigy, the golden child. So, he placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered these words in my ear.

"I don't care what your sister does, but if you decide to turn out like your mother you won't just be disowned from the family. I will personally make sure you regret it."

Then he walked off. From that day on I knew I could never like a guy... but then I went to high school.

I never really liked any of the girls, my friends would all me dating and talking about how far they could get, and I couldn't care less. I dated a few girls here and there but as soon as they wanted to go further or it felt too serious I would break it off. It was always the guys that seemed to grab my attention more, but I always ignored it and thought nothing more of it, until Tank.

We had gotten really drunk at a party in junior year, I knew Tank was gay because he was out to all the gammas- any of the ones that had an issue with it got kicked out- but the idea of him liking me never crossed my mind. But we were alone in a room, and then it all happened and it felt so wrong but so right. So, me and Tank dated on and off for a while, it was more hook ups and make outs than proper dating. At the beginning of this year he started to want to take things more seriously, and that's when I broke things off. I couldn't be serious with a guy, especially when I didn't even love him.

But I did like max. I knew I did no matter how much I wanted to deny it and wish for it to go away. Tank still liked me and wanted me for himself, he'd definitely never let max into the gamma house after all of this, he would probably do what he did to me the other day to max now, hell he was definitely going to beat me up again.

I knew what I had to do.

I put on my shirt jumper and khakis and packed a bad full of all my essentials: skin care, hair care, spa stuff, clothes, shoes, and some money. I put my cat on her lead (yes my cat had a lead, she liked to go on walks) and grabbed my skateboard.

Trying my best to be quiet and not alert anyone of my movement, I made my way towards the door.
"Where you going Bradley?"
"None of your business slouch"

I didn't even look back at him, just kept going out the door and never looked back, getting on my board and speeding down the hill whilst carrying my cat, if it wasn't for her I would have probably either done some tricks or kept skating faster and faster until I fell of my board and hopefully never got back up again.

Eventually I arrived outside the apartment block which max lived in, I'd never been in here before but I'd seen him go back here after school every now and again.

"Here goes nothing"
I pressed the buzzer for the apartment listed under goof and prayed for the best

A/N: sorry this chapters kinda short, but I really wanted to get another one out, hopefully you guys liked the angst and more backstory and lore!

Btw thank you guys so much, I'm less than 100 reads away from 3k reads and I know it might not seem a big amount, but to me its absolutely unreal so from the bottom of my heart thank you guys so much, your support means the word to me