"Alright I got Reese's, m&ms and a carton of ice cream." He said walking into his room. He looked at me holding the blade and his face went cold.
"Shawn. Do you hurt yourself?" I asked carefully hoping he wouldn't get angry with me for snooping.
"Why did you go through my stuff?" He said calmly.
"I'm a snoop. I'm really sorry. But can you answer the question? Please?"
"No I do not hurt myself. I used too. I used to be really depressed and that was the only way out. I do not hurt myself anymore. If this friendship is going to work, you have to trust me and not snoop through my dresser." He said.
"I'm sorry." I said truthfully. He must think I'm awful. First day at a friends house and I snoop through his shit.
"Let's just watch the show." He smiled as we walked towards his bed. We sat together watching Grey's and eating sweets.
After about an hour, Shawn paused the screen and turned to me.
"Do you ever question your purpose? He randomly said.
I look at my thumbs for a second, trying to think of an answer. I didn't want to make myself look like the lonely sad freak that I am. He is my friend but I don't know if I trust him with my thoughts yet. I did find his razor blade though and he told me the truth. Or I at least hope it was the truth.
"Sometimes." I finally came up with an answer.
He sighed. "I just don't understand the point of life."
"I don't think anyone really does." I replied truthfully.
"Do you like living?"
"Most of the time." I half smiled at him.
"Why only most of the time?" He asked curiously.
"Life sucks sometimes." I shrugged.
He sighed and looked at me.
"You're still depressed, aren't you?" I asked him.
He nodded slowly.
I took into my arms and hugged him tightly.
"It gets better." I whispered to him as we pulled away from the hug.
"The kids at school are just so cruel to me. I miss my sister. Her death tore this family apart. Now my depression is making it worse. I don't want my family to be worse. It's been so hard going through this with no friends." He vented to me.
"Shawn, I'm your friend. I know I wasn't here before, but I'm here now and I'm not leaving." I smiled looking at him.
He smiled in return.
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This sucks ass. I'm sorry 😭
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Can You Save Me? (Shawn Mendes Fanfiction)
FanfictionHe was depressed. She was alone. When two dysfunctional teens meet, they just might be able to fix each other before their sadness takes over.
