All That's Left

Chapter 22 | Vania

Present

2023

Seventeen years old

It had been two months since I made the painful decision to let Dorian go, fearing what Eliana might do if I didn't back off. I hadn't been doing very well since then, but I was managing to get by, even if the silence I now had in my life felt suffocating at times.

A month ago, Max showed up at my house, concerned. He started coming over every other day, often updating me on Dorian's life, but always being a bit to careful when it came to my feelings. I get why he was here; he was scared I would do what his brother did.

And while that thought had never even crossed my mind, I appreciated Max's concern.

It was another quiet afternoon when Max arrived. The sun was casting long shadows across the lawn as he knocked on the door. I opened it, letting him in, and we settled in the living room, like we usually did.

"So," Max said, taking a seat on the couch. "Eliana and Dorian are dating now."

I felt a tug in my chest, but I ignore it, keeping my expression neutral. "That's...good for them," I said quietly.

Max watched me for a moment, as if assessing my reaction. When I didn't say anything else, he leaned forward. "You should get out there again, Vania. Maybe go on a date or something."

I shook my head. "No, Max. I'm not going down that road again. Not after what happened with Lucas." I had finally told him the entire story of what happened two years ago. I had expected him to stop coming over because it was my fault, but he came back the next day as if nothing happened.

Max sighed. "I get that, Vania. I really do. But not everyone out there is as psychotic as Lucas, and you can't let what happened with Lucas keep you from living your life. At least try to make some new friends."

I looked away, feeling a lump forming in my throat. The truth was, I didn't want new friends. I wanted things to go back to the way they were before everything fell apart. But I knew that wasn't possible.

Before I tried to respond, there was a knock on the front door. I forze, my heart racing. Nobody besides Max came over anymore. Was it Dorian? I didn't think I would be able to face him if he was really here. The guilt for pushing him away so effortlessly ate at me day and night, even though I knew it was for the best.

Max glanced at me, then got up from the couch to check who it was. After peeking through the window, he turned to me with a smirk.

"It's Daniel," he said, his eyes twinkling. "This is a sign from the heavens, Vania."

I rolled my eyes at him but got up to answer the door. I didn't interact with my new neighbor all that much, since I was almost never outside, anymore. I'd go pick up Kian and Aspen in the mornings, avoiding interactions with Uncle Elly and Avery as far as possible, and drop the kids off at school. Then I'd go to work until five in the afternoon.

After that, I'd drive home and lock myself in the house.

But every time he greeted me, I made an attempt to act more civil towards him.

Daniel stood on the porch, looking a bit sheepish. "Hey, Vania," he said with a friendly smile. "Sorry to bother. My brother and I were playing soccer in the backyard, and I accidentally kicked the ball into your yard. I didn't want to get it without your permission."

"It's okay," I said, attempting to return his smile, "Let's go get it."

We walked to the backyard, and I retrieved the ball for him from where it had settled between the plants in my father's garden that was slowly dying.

As I handed the ball back to Daniel, he gave me a hopeful look. "Hey, we should hang out sometime," he suggested. Numerous protests were already forming in my mind, but before I could respond, Max shouted from inside the house.

"She'll do it!''

I shot Max a glare from where he was watching us through the living room window, but he just grinned back at us.

Daniel chuckled, then looked back at me, more serious now.

"By the way, I noticed you and Dorian aren't hanging out as much anymore. Are you guys still friends?"

I sighed, feeling a pang of sadness and something else tug at my insides. "Dorian will always be my best friend," I said quietly. "But things are a bit complicated right now."

Daniel nodded, understanding. I was grateful he didn't ask more questions about the matter, because I wasn't going to answer him if he did.

"Well, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. But think about us hanging out, okay?"

"Thanks, Daniel," I said. "I'll think about it."

We said our goodbyes, and I went back inside, feeling a mix of emotions. Max was waiting on the couch with a knowing look.

"See? You should give things a chance," he said, nudging me gently.

"I'll think about it," I repeated, sitting back down.

Max sighed. "Just remember Vania, you don't have to punish yourself by going through everything alone. It's okay to let new people in."

"If I let new people in, they'll just get hurt," I said, hugging my knees to my chest.

Max sighed again, and I knew he was getting frustrated with me. "Vania, how many times do I have to tell you that Eliana is physically not capable of doing what Lucas did? She's too obsessed with Dorian. She would never hurt him like that. She'd go for anyone trying to take him away from her."

I shook my head, feeling the familiar knot of anxiety tighten in my chest. "That's what I thought about Lucas, too," I said softly, my voice on the verge of breaking. "I thought that he cared too much about me to do what he did. Obviously, things didn't go according to his plan, but still. Eliana may not hurt Dorian, but what if she hurts his parents? His siblings? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she hurt any of them, Max."

Max's frustration softened into concern. He reached out, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Vania, I get it. You're scared. But you can't live your entire life in fear of what might happen. Elaian might be possessive, but she's not dangerous like Lucas was."

I looked away, staring at the floor as memories of Lucas flooded back. His charming smile, the gentle way he used to hold my hand, as if he was scared of hurting me, the shift in his demeanor whenever he's stop taking his medication. "I'd rather let Eliana hurt me than touch any one of them," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "But as long as I stay away from Dorian, Eliana won't feel threatened, and she won't do anything."

Max knelt in front of me, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Vania, you can't sacrifice your own happiness out of fear. Dorian loves you. His family loves you. You don't have to isolate yourself to keep them safe."

Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. "I won't risk it, Max. I can't go through that again. If anything happened to Dorian or his family because of me, I'd never forgive myself."

I'd be okay with how things were.

I'd be okay.