All That's Left

Chapter 27 | Dorian

Present
2023
Seventeen years old

The smell of bacon sizzling in the pan filled the the kitchen as I mindlessly flipped the strips, my thoughts far away. Last night felt like a blur, a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. I wanted to make things rights, but I didn't know where to start. Vania had been drifting away from me for weeks, and I wanted to understand why. 

It wasn't until I heard the soft creak of the floorboards that I realized she was standing there, at the kitchen entrance, watching me. I turned around, and the sight of her hit me harder than I expected. Her eyes were puffy, rimmed with the kind of redness that only came form a night spent crying. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept at all. 

"I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," I said, my voice softer than I intended.

Vania didn't respond. She just moved quietly to the kitchen table and sat down, staring at the marble surface as if it held all the answers to whatever was troubling her. The silence that settled between us wasn't the familiar, comfortable quiet we'd shared so many times before. This was thick, almost suffocating, and it gnawed at my insides. 

For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to say her. 

Something between us had shifted, and it was clear that both of us had noticed it.

I turned back to the stove, trying to distract myself with the task of finishing breakfast, but it was no use. The tension in the room was unbearable, and the questions swirling in my mind wouldn't leave me alone. 

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned off the stove, set the spatula down, and faced her. She didn't look up. 

"Vania," I began, my voice low and steady. "what's going on? Why have you been pushing me away?"

Vania flinched at the question, her fingers curling into her palms on the table. I could see her struggling with something, something she didn't want to say. But I needed to know. I needed to understand why things had changed between us. 

"Please," I said, taking a step closer, "just talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, Van."

For a long moment, she remained silent, her shoulders tense and her eyes fixed on the table. Then, finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Eliana threatened me, okay? She's territorial over you and told me to back off at the party. So I did."

My heart sank as the truth of her words hit me. The idea that Eliana had been behind Vania's sudden distance, that she had been manipulating Vania out of fear, made my blood boil. I had known Eliana was possesive, but this...this was too far. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, voice thick with emotion. "I could've—"

"Could've what?" She interrupted, her voice cracking. "I couldn't risk it, Dorian. I know what happens in this situation. I've been through it with Lucas, and we both know how that ended."

"Eliana isn't able to do what Lucas did, Van, she—"

"That's what we thought about Lucas, wasn't it? We thought that he wouldn't do anything drastic, that he wouldn't hurt anyone. But we clearly underestimated him, Dorian! I'm not going to do that with Eliana, and you shouldn't either."

"Damn it, Vania!" I nearly shouted, the anger I had been trying to supress boiling over. "You should have told me! I would have dealt with Eliana—I would have made sure she wouldn't do anything. That she wouldn't hurt anyone."

"You think it's that easy?" Vania shot back, standing up from her chair, her face flushed with emotion. "You think you can just tell her to stop and she'll listen?  She's obsessed with you, Dorian! She'll do anything to keep you, and I didn't want to be the reason she hurt you or your family. I can't be the reason more people get hurt. Especially not you guys. You're all I have left, Dorian."

I took a step back, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "But distancing yourself didn't solve anything, did it? It only made things harder for the both of us. You shut me out, Vania. You made me feel like I lost my best friend, and I had no idea why."

Her eyes filled with tears again, but this time, there was anger in them too. "Do you think that was easy for me? Do you think I wanted to push you away? I hated every second of it, Dorian, but I did it because I thought it was the only way to keep what happened with Lucas happening again!"

"You didn't have to protect me!" I yelled, my voice cracking. "I'm not a kid, Vania. I can handle myself. But you—God, Vania, you've been crying yourself to sleep because of  this, and I can't forgive myself for not seeing it, or being able to do anything about it."

"Dorian...' Her voice was softer now, and she took a tentative step toward me, but I was too caught up in the turmoil inside of me to calm down. 

"And for what? So Eliana could keep playing her little game while you suffered in silence?  That's not okay, Vania. That's not how we do things. We've always faced everything together."

Vania's hands clenched into fists at her sides, and she shook her head. "You don't get it, do you? You're always so strong, so sure of yourself, but I'm not. I couldn't risk losing you, Dorian. You're the one person in my life who—"

She cut herself off, biting her lip, and I could see her battling with herself, struggling to keep something inside. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, and asked, more gently this time, "Who what, Vania? Tell me."

She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, and I could see the vulnerability in her gaze, the fear that had been haunting her. "You're the one person who ever made me feel whole," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You're not just my best friend, Dorian. You're everything to me. And I—"

She stopped again, but I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to hear her say it. Needed to hear that she felt the same way. "And you what?" I asked.

"I love you," she finally admitted, her voice breaking as the tears spilled over. "Not just as a friend, but as the only person who has ever had my heart. And I can't move on from that, no matter how hard I try. All these years, I've tried, believe me I've tried, but it's always you. I've always loved you, Dorian. And I always will."

Her words hit me like a freight train, knocking the breath out of me. All the anger, all the frustration, melted away in an instant, leaving only the raw, overwhelming emotion that had been buried deep inside me for so long.

Vania loved me.

She had always loved me, just as I had always loved her. I knew we always had something special, ever since we were little, but I was too afraid to hope for it.

Without thinking, I closed the distance between us in two quick strides, grabbing her by the arms and pulling her into me. Her breath hitched in surprise, but before she could say anything, I crushed my lips against hers, pouring all the love, all the longing, all the pent-up emotions and tension I had been holding back into that once, fierce kiss.

She froze for a second, but then she melted against me, her hands clutching tightly at my shirt as she kissed me back with just as much intensity. It was like everything in the world had finally clicked into place. This was where we were always meant to be— together.

Everything over the years, every single little thing that had ever happened between us, had been leading up to this moment, and if I knew then that Vania felt the same way about me, I would've been the happiest kid in the world.

I pulled back, breathing hard as I looked into her eyes. "I love you, Vania. For as long as I can remember, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. You could always see right through me, but when it came to how I felt about you, you just never managed to grasp it. But I love you, Vania. You're the first and only girl I've ever loved, and you'll be the last one I ever love, because no one can complete me the way you do."

There will never be space for another girl in my heart if it isn't Vania.

I knew things were not perfect yet. I knew we still had a lot to talk about and work through, but for now, things were perfect.