𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎

County Kerry

The true actions of Dave following Kurt's death had stayed to himself, for the most part.

He hadn't told many people, but running off to County Kerry Ireland for two months rendered him impossible to contact. He put himself into complete isolation. He felt like he was losing his mind stuck in Seattle, everywhere he looked had a now tainted memory linked to it.

He wandered about the County by himself for around a month, having an old friend who let him stay at his place for the time being. Driving off into the country every day, about all he had to do in the place, doing his best to get his mind off of things— but to no avail, Kurt was all he could think about.

What would he even do now? His grief was completely different than what someone else would experience. What he was going through was so public, he was being stared at with pity by strangers in public, his entire life was turned upside down and he didn't know how to build it back up. He was scared, so he went away.

Since being in Kerry County, he hadn't noticed these stares like he did in Seattle. He wasn't able to state it out loud, but he almost thought he was growing a slight resentment for Seattle. Just the thought of the place anymore made his stomach churn.

Everything changed on one of his drives, early in the morning but not deep in the county. Up ahead, he spotted a hiker, who was obviously in need of a ride. All Dave could initially see was the man's brown hair, which led down to his shoulders. However, as he got closer, full intentions on giving the man a ride, he noticed something that automatically changed his mind.

The man was wearing a Kurt Cobain T-Shirt.

With this sudden realization, Dave's eyes widened and he put his head down, speeding up and passing the man with paranoia seeping into his chest, fearing with his entire being that the man had somehow recognized him in those moments he was passing by.

He continued driving, keeping a steady pace, his hands beginning to shake as he looked around at the trees, the old road he was driving on, this was in the complete middle of nowhere. So far from what he thought of as the source of his troubles, and yet, here he was, thousands and thousands of miles away, the same growing panic from his Seattle home filling him with anxiety, frustration, and shock.

His brown eyes filled with panic, blinking tears away as fast as he could, regaining composure as he continued to think. He couldn't escape the feeling of grief, no matter how far he traveled, he couldn't escape the past. He had to face it head on. He had to go back home.

Once he was back home, he turned on the radio for the first time in around two months. He looked around at the home he shared with his friend, taking one of his hands and running it through his greasy hair with a huff. He didn't know who to talk to or what to do.

Looking over at his guitar that had been collecting dust in the corner of his room for several months, he blinked a few times, finally deciding to walk towards it and pick it up by the neck. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he strummed a few cords, humming something he'd thought of on the spot.

He thought about all the demos he'd recorded in the studio on his own throughout the years, fucking around, 'just messing around', he'd always say, shaking his head profusely when Kurt begged him to put one of them on an album. Maybe that could get his mind off of things.

***

A/N

short chapter but the hitchhiker thing is a true event that dave wrote about in his book !! Just to clarify this is before dave calls iris back.

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