𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎

March 1st, 2000

Shows were never the same anymore, Dave thought.

Of course, there was a reason, something the rest of the band knew but wouldn't acknowledge. A sort of emptiness that Dave was forbidden to fill though he thought it was for the best, looking out at the crowd now, he wondered if he had been tricked into living like this— always yearning for something more.

It had only been this way for around two months, every minute this pit of anxiety filling him every single time he stepped into the studio, or during interviews, or shows, award shows, meeting fans, every second he just felt like something was missing. A part of his life was being kept from him. She was being kept from him.

Nate always told him that the arguments got in the way of things, but it had always been something she and Dave were willing to work through. It was never of much concern to them, not until around six months ago.

He tried his hardest to recall when everything changed, but his mind just went blank. He looked out among the crowd in front of him, his baby blue guitar just starting to slip out of his hands before Chris walked over to him on stage, subtly nudging him in the shoulder, breaking him out of the trance he'd been in, staring at the crowd. The crowd had assumed he was just taking it all in, but the rest of the band knew something was wrong. He'd been slightly off lately, dissociative, prone to staring off and such.

If only the crowd knew, every look he gave out into that crowd, every moment of silence in the middle of a song where all he could do was take in the silence, there was only one person in his mind. Someone that he needed, someone he would never forget. There were so many songs he'd written about her. She was so embedded into his life, she would be impossible to ever forget.

They all shared a look while he snapped out of it, the grip he had on his guitar going back to normal, stepping back up to the microphone before he found his voice again and spoke up, "Thanks, you guys are great."

He turned around to look at Taylor,  who noticed the dazed expression on Dave's face; he'd forgotten what song was next. "Aurora!" the blonde shouted over the noise of the crowd.

Dave's eyes lit up again before he nodded back, the set list coming back to him as he turned back around to look at the crowd once again, playing the opening guitar with no words as the crowd cheered as loud as they could, recognizing it immediately.

The rest of the night was just like any other. Slow. He stared at the phone on the wall as he stepped backstage, sighing and walking past it as the chatter of his bandmates began to fill his ears.

"Hey, you going with us?" Taylor asked, nudging Dave in the shoulder to break him out of his thoughts, Dave blinking and looking back at Taylor. He thought about the offer for a second or so, knowing Taylor was referring to the after party that had been planned at a bar down the road. They'd probably get shitfaced, pick up some girls, and forget about them in a week or so. He wasn't interested in that sort of thing anymore.

"No, I think I'll go back to the hotel tonight." he finally answered, shaking his head. Taylor gave him a look of dismay, Chris and Nate dejected as they viewed the exchange from behind, sharing a small knowing look upon Dave's answer. Dave knew what they all wanted to say, but nobody bothered this time.

"Alright." Taylor finally spoke, nodding and pursing his lips, giving Dave a friendly pat on the back before turning around and walking off with Nate and Chris,  the three not speaking another word until they were out of Dave's area.

Dave only sighed, running his fingers through his hair and heading for an alternate exit.

He had to get over this somehow.

—-

A/N

the first chapter of my first dave story! i'm so happy to get this out i've wanted to write a dave story for such a long time and now that i'm back into the foos i've found the passion to start <33

i hope you guys enjoy, feel free to comment and/or vote!!