𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎

Grief

Dave sat alone in his bedroom, curled up in a ball. It had been two hours since he'd woken up, but he hadn't been able to get up from bed. It was two days since he'd heard the news.

Kurt was dead.

He was still in disbelief, grasping the fact of reality. He couldn't live with it, he couldn't cope with the loss. He'd been avoiding conversation with anyone since he'd heard, the last person he'd spoken to was a couple people the day of. Yesterday he'd spoken to Pat and that was it. So far today, not a word. Not even a knock on the door from his roommate. 

He just looked at the ceiling from his bed, sometimes closing his eyes, though he failed at falling back asleep. All he'd been doing was sleeping, sleeping was better than experiencing the feeling he was when awake. He didn't want to think about it anymore, but it was all he could think about. So now he just sat there, eyes scrunched shut, holding himself in a fetal position. 

Then the phone rang.

His eyes opened fast, looking at the telephone on his bedside table, in that moment he considered unplugging it and going M.I.A. He didn't want to answer, but something inside of him brought him to reach over and put the phone to his ear, muttering the miserable word, "Hello?".

"Dave?" 

He didn't know how, but he recognized the voice almost immediately, "Iris...?" he asked, slightly unsure. He could almost hear the smile in her voice, happy that he remembered her voice, "Yeah."

His expression shifted, "Hey." he said, the tone of his voice changing slightly, as if he was relieved to hear from her. 

"I'm sorry I didn't call for such a long time, I really meant to. I got caught up, I guess. Moving." She apologized, her eyebrows upturned as she recalled telling him she would talk to him soon. It had been months. For her to not reach out until something like this happened, it was shallow of her, she thought. Dave, on the other hand, hadn't been very bitter. He thought this was nice. He was happy to hear from her.

"It's fine, Iris. I swear. I appreciate you calling." He said. The hurt in his voice was visible, she couldn't stand it, it hurt her to hear. 

"Yeah, well, you probably know why I'm calling. I really wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing with everything going on, if you needed me to come over or something." She explained, leaning back in her chair as she spoke, Dave listening intently.

"Come over? No, no way I'd let you see me right now." He responded to her offer with a dry chuckle, thinking about how greasy his hair must be, his five o'clock shadow, not having showered since what happened.

"No, really, I'm serious. I could bring you food or whatever-- I mean, if you don't want me to I understand, I just feel like it'd be nice for us to get our mind off of things for a little while."

Dave thought about it for a second or so, looking around at his bedroom, it was in a disgusting state. He was in a disgusting state. He couldn't have her over for a while.

"I don't know about today, Iris, maybe soon." He sighed, frustrated with his own laziness, "I don't know. I'm just feeling really shitty." 

She nodded, "I totally understand. Just please call me if you need something or want someone to talk to. I'm begging you. This is a really hard time, I really hope you feel better very soon."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." He said back, "It's just been hard to process, you know?" he sighed, putting his head up to rub his forehead, tucking some hair behind his ear.

"I know. I spoke to Courtney earlier, she's not doing well at all. I just feel so horrible." She recalled having spoken to the woman earlier that day, Courtney bursting into tears over the phone. Iris was afraid Dave would do the same if she were to go on much longer.

"God, I can't even imagine." he sighed, heart dropping at the thought. It almost made him feel sick, he just knew how Courtney must have reacted. He didn't even want to think about it. 

Iris couldn't help but notice every sentence that came out of Dave's mouth was incredibly hurt, like he could barely speak at all, like the timid kind of tone he'd taken when introducing himself to her a few months before, voice breaking often. 

"I'll leave you alone for now, then. Just remember to call me if you need me, please." She said, repeating her words from before. Dave took note of this, not knowing if he would actually follow her instructions as she was likely going through the same hurt he was, just better at hiding it. 

"Yeah, thanks." He responded, "I"ll, uh, talk to you later." he continued, lost in thought. 

"Alright, bye."

The two both hung up the phone, Dave sitting back on his headboard, taking some time to think about the phone call. She was very kind for this, he understood that she felt bad for not having called before all of this happened, but in his mind, he was glad she called when it did. 

Despite this, in that moment there was nothing that could tear Dave from the reality of what had happened only a few days prior. He didn't want to see anyone. When he did, he'd give her a call. Just not then. 

Iris, on the other hand, had been looking for anything to distract her from what had been going on. She'd received tons of phone calls from people she'd reconnected with since being back in Seattle, she'd visited Krist and Shelley, spoken to Courtney, and now she'd called Dave. It was just a game of staying as busy and distracted as she could, not giving herself time to think about it. It was her way of coping, yet there was still an empty feeling of unease in her chest. She didn't know what to do other than ignore it.

***

A/N

short chapter, didn't take very long to write, excited to get this one out because plot needs to develop

hope you all enjoyed, feel free to vote and/or comment!