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In another life, if I find you again, let's bump into each other at university once more. Let's start from the beginning, where the world is full of possibilities and our hearts are open to the magic of first love.
In that life, I'll be brave enough to tell you just how in love I am. I'll look into your eyes, those eyes that have always reminded me of a stormy sea, and I'll let the words flow freely, like a river breaking through a dam.
I'll tell you how my heart races when you enter a room, how your laugh is the sweetest melody I've ever heard. I'll confess that every time our hands accidentally touch, I feel electricity course through my veins. I'll admit that I've memorised the constellation of freckles on your left cheek, and that I dream of tracing them with my fingertips.
Loving you, Henry, is as easy as breathing, as natural as the sun rising each morning. It's as important as the air in my lungs, as vital as the blood in my veins.
In that life, I won't let fear hold me back. I won't mistake comfort for contentment or silence for peace. I'll take the leap, knowing that even if I fall, the brief moment of flight will be worth it.
Maybe in that life, you'll look at me with new eyes. You'll see the love that's always been there, hidden in plain sight. Perhaps you'll take my hand, pull me close, and whisper that you've been waiting for me to say something all along.
Or maybe you won't. Maybe even in that life, we're destined to be just friends. But at least I'll know. At least I'll have given our love a chance to bloom instead of letting it wither in the shadows of what-ifs.
In this life, I'll carry you in my heart always. Every love story I witness, every wedding I attend, every couple I see growing old together, they'll all carry echoes of you, of us, of what might have been.
And on quiet nights, when the moon hangs low and the world is asleep, I'll look up at the stars and whisper your name. I'll send my love out into the universe, hoping that somewhere, in some reality, another Celine is holding another Henry, living the life I've only dreamed of.
Until then, my love. Until our next first meeting. I'll keep loving you silently, fiercely, eternally, because loving you, Henry, is the only way I know how to exist in this world. In every heartbeat, in every breath, in every moment of joy or sorrow, you'll be there, the almost-everything, the what-could-have-been, the love that defined me.
And though it breaks my heart to let you go, to watch you build a life with someone else, I'll do it. Because loving you means wanting your happiness above all else, even if that happiness doesn't include me.
I'll smile through my tears.
I'll cheer for your joys.
And I'll always, always be here, loving you from afar, Silently Yours.
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