Unhinged Love

CHAPTER 24

When I came back to my room, I made sure to drink loads of water while I lazied around, uploading videos and photos of last night’s escapades. So that’s why I am hungover free today. There is a slight headache, but it is not that bad. Even though the sex was not that satisfactory, I had fun. It was nice to let loose without worrying about people judging you. I have never been a groovist in my life but I know a lot of fun happens in the groove and I had fun last night. I think with better company, we would have moved to a second location, but ke it is what it is. I am just glad I didn’t go to the club alone, or else people would have taken advantage and lots of them, especially men, would have thought I was a fish needing to be caught.

My weekend is all about self discovery. And that is what I am going to do. After showering, I put on a Lace Patchwork Pleated Bust & Waist-Cinching Spaghetti Strap Dress with black Chanel sandals. I head to Checkers and purchase a journal and a fruit platter for one. I also buy a beach towel. I then walk to the beach. When I get there, I see people jogging and some taking a stroll. There are two surfing in the ocean. I lay down my towel a bit far from the water and sit down. I look around and take a deep breath. I have questions on my phone about self discovery. I know them by heart now.

What do I want to do with my life outside my business?
What are my life goals?
How can I achieve them?
After achieving them, what’s next for me?
Where do I see myself in 10 years?
What are my short term goals?

For the first question, I know I want to explore in life. I wanna tour the world. I can’t necessarily Mize my business when it comes to exploring, but I wanna go to different countries, learn about their cuisines, their culture and way of life. I have a little Dora the Explorer in me that wants to hop into her red boots and go wild. But that means I have to start saving and planning my vacation. It’s not something that can be taken lightly, especially if you Wanna go overseas.

Life goals? Well I would like to see my restaurant go national and maybe international at some point. I want to open an academy of culinary in the near future. I also want to get married and have many kids. If I can’t have them, I want to adopt. I wouldn’t raise my kids like my parents raised me. I want to create a warm and safe environment for them. I also want a man who is going to love me and worship the ground I walk on. I know that type of love exists. My nanny had the most loving and caring husband. He initially wanted her to be a housewife and be pampered but she loved kids and she loved taking care of me and my siblings. Her husband would fetch her from work every day and even bring flowers from time to time. She once said to me “MaHlengi, never settle for a man who doesn’t look at you like you are his world. Never settle at all. Be picky and choosy. Don’t let society tell you otherwise, there are still good men out there and you deserve one of them with you heart.” Of course at that time I would laugh at her and tell her I am too young to think about good men and whatnot. It’s funny how I still remember her advise to date.

On top of the academy, I want to have my own cooking show and competition on TV. I have watched many cooking and baking shows on television to know that I want my own thing. I won’t go for celebrity chefs or famous people. I want my show to have those underrated chefs that do miracles. Those who love staying behind the scenes and let others shine for their work. I want to work with that type. I know that would require me to be famous first before I can get picked or even grab the attention of SABC, SHOWMAX or NETFLIX.

After writing a few of my life goals, long term and short term, in my new notebook, I close it and then eat my platter while looking at the waves, going back and forth. I feel like all our generation does is survive. Very few of us are living and are actually doing what they love. Some work nine to five jobs just so they can put bread in the table. Some don’t even know what they want to do with their lives except work on one job, as long as it brings money. It’s fine to have no ambitions in life. Not everyone dreams of being successful. But the decision to want a better future for yourself must come from within. Nobody is going to write your life for you. Even God doesn’t control our lives. He protects us and is always there to hear our cries and pleas. So if you dot take charge of your life, you have no one to blame but yourself when you wake up thirty years later and realize that you wasted your life being stuck in one place.