Unhinged Love

CHAPTER 34

MNDENI MABUYAKHULU

Reconciling with my sister is probably the best memory or moment of my life and I will forever cherish it. I don’t know which Gods made us collide that day, but it was fate and when I heard her call my name, I couldn’t believe it. Growing up, I was never an emotional person. Not that I was distant or anything, but the only time I cried was when I lost my mother. All those years of suffering, not once did I cry. But when I saw my sister, it’s like she unlocked all my tears and feelings. I thought I was dreaming. I couldn’t even sleep because I feared she would disappear. Even today, I still pinch myself so that I can see if I am not dreaming. How she made it her priority to help me get my life back, I will forever be grateful. For now, I am still waiting for my matric certificate from the department of education so that I can be able to request my engineering certificate from the institution I studied at. They said I only need to produce an ID and matric certificate and they will be able to print out a new certificate for me, at a cost. When I am financially stable, I will pay u Magcina back all the money she has spent on me. I know if I was in her shoes, I would have done the same thing and expected nothing in return. But not only did she take me out of the streets, she gave me a purpose in life and I will forever be grateful.

At Healthy Eats, when the staff members close for the night and clean the store, the four chefs head to the office to prepare for the day ahead and that includes determining what the dish of the day will be and who will be in each station. They all know how to prepare everything that’s on the menu. They just rotate stations everyday so that there is no inequality. That’s something I observed day one. What I also saw was how all the employees admired and respected my sister. She may be young and some of the staff members are older than her, but they show her the utmost respect. In return, she treats them like people and not slaves. And when I saw how much she pays them, I understood why there isn’t that Gratuity line at the bill for customers. The staff gets paid well enough. A customer only tips because of great service and not because they are guilt tripped or anything like that.

My sister went out on a date tonight. She has been smiling with her phone this past week and I am happy for her. I heard that her last relationship failed because the guy was immature. I hope the one she got now will treat her right, or else he will be on the receiving end of my fist and I can tell you first-hand that’s not a good place to be. She left me at the restaurant and her crew promised to get me home safely. I volunteered to go home using taxis. That’s how one actually learns more about a place, using public transport, but Magcina did not want to hear any of it. And I agreed to being driven home because I didn’t want to make her sad before her date. I am just waiting for whoever that’s going to drive me home at the bar since the store is already closed. I pass time by watching highlights of soccer games on My DSTV, an app which Magcina set up for me on my new phone.

“Let’s go, I will be driving you.” That angelic voice startles me and I look up to see Mitchy standing in front of me.

Throughout the years of my street life, I never had a girlfriend. Yeah, sure, maybe I fucked a few women who were in my league but I didn’t have any relationship. Who would date what is considered to be a phara? Even though I saw beautiful women every day, I just told myself that I shouldn’t even try anything because I know the results won’t be good for me. The woman would surely think that I am trying to rob her or something.

I noticed how women started looking at me after my sister gave me what is considered to be a make-over. I am not a handsome man. Far from it. I am tall and a bit skinny from all the years of not eating well. I don’t have the body I desire. I jog every morning before coming to work with Magcina, hoping that I will go back to, not necessarily who I was before father tried to kill me. But I hope to be a better, different version of that.

The chef that we had dinner with before leaving Durban, I won’t lie and say I didn’t notice how she was staring at me. As men, sometimes we are oblivious to the things that happen around us, especially when women are flirting with us. But I noticed that and decided not to do anything about it because what would be the use? Who would want a man with no job, no documents and no money? A man who is just living off his younger sister? Life might have dealt me a bad hand, but I know I am in no position to want a relationship right now. I have to get my life in order first before trying to get into one.

But all my reservations flew out the window when I laid my eyes on Mitchy Gwamanda. The Venda chef. All of Magcina’s friends are beautiful, but Mitchy has that subtle beauty that is not in your face too much. That polite beauty that you can never get enough of even if you were to stare at her for twenty-four hours without blinking. She has a calm voice to match with that beauty. And her personality. She is also very intelligent and ambitious. Something I noticed in the briefings that have happened since I got here. I have no doubt that if she were to open a business of her own, she would excel in it.

“Earth to Bhut Mndeni.” Another voice startles me. I get so lost in my own head a lot of times; I can even tune out my surroundings. Nqobile is standing next to Mitchy with a smile on her face. “It’s time to go. Mitchy will be taking you home while some of us go play with other kids.” She waves at me before walking away. “See you on Monday, Mitch.”

I stand up and Mitchy looks at me with a small smile on her face. “I need to get a burger before we go. So, we are starting at McDonalds.” She announces and walks away. I follow her like a lost puppy. I was dreading being a burden to someone since Magcina didn’t want me to take the taxis, but if it means following this Venda princess around all day long, I don’t mind. We exit the store and Pamela is the one who locks up. “Are you okay?” she asks after a few moments of us walking in silence.

“Yes, yes. I am fine. I just got lost in my head again.” I respond quickly. Too quickly. God, I sound like a fuckin teenager talking to his crush.
“It happens to the best of us. Ever thought about going to therapy? It’s not nice having your mind analysed by a stranger. Trust me, I have been there. But in a way, they help you put a lot of things into perspective and they can open your mind to a lot of things. I can’t imagine the trauma you must have gone through, but seeing that you are still standing means you are stronger than you think.”

I don’t want her to take pity on me. I do that to myself a lot. I just want her to… I don’t know what I want her to do because a lot is happening. She is right, I need to speak to someone other than my sister about what I have been through. But am I ready to open up about my past? Am I ready to talk about all the hardships I have faced? I am not sure.

“You are absolutely right. I will think about it.” We get to the parking lot and enter one of the company cars. She then drives to McDonalds, which is behind Townsquare Mall and she orders in the drive-thru.

“I would like two McFeast meals and two McFlurries, thank you.” We proceed to the other window and she pays with her card before receiving the food. She hands me the food and drives out. “What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks casually as she manoeuvres the streets of Richards Bay. I frown. What am I doing tomorrow? Okay, what else can I do besides go to work with my sister.

“Nothing.” I respond.
She glances at me with a smile. “Great then. I will be taking you somewhere.” I do hear that she is talking and I do hear what she says. But I am just at her. The way she drives. The way she keeps looking at me. The way she blinks. The way she licks her lips. Okay, I admit, I am attracted to Mitchy. There is something about her that makes me forget that I am way out of her league and I can’t even afford to take her on a date if she gave me a second glance.

I don’t even notice that we have arrived at home until she parks the car and takes the food from my lap before getting out. I take the drinks and follow her inside the house. She warms the food and hands me my burger with fries. I thank her and we start eating in silence. When we are done, she heads to the lounge while I clean up. I am expecting her to bid her farewells since she is still supposed to drive back home, or even hear the TV playing, but none of that happens. I walk to the lounge to find her fast asleep with her phone in her hand.

“Mitchy.” I softly call her out and she doesn’t respond. I pick her up and she doesn’t even move an inch. I understand her fatigue. These people spend almost 10 hours on their feet. I go and lay her down on my bed before removing her shoes and covering her with a blanket. I take another blanket and head back to the lounge. I guess I am taking the couch.

I am no where near ready to be in a relationship. My life is all over the place. I get lost in my own head sometimes. I have nightmares about this life I am currently living being only just my imagination. I imagine myself waking up eMakethe and being back to square one. So, what am I going to do with the feelings I have for this woman when I am some unhinged phara with nothing?