But There's More To You

8 | Dreams don't follow rules, so why should I?

"He stopped replying and so...we stopped talking."

"Whatever we had going on...it's over."

"Gone."

Yet when the night arrived followed by it's beloved moon and his companions- the stars, Cynthia could only lay away in her bed, eyes wide open and hands tucked by her sides. Her insomnia was getting bad again, she knew it was, but she chose to stay silent. She chose to stay silent because how could someone say such things, mutter such words in the tenderest of voices that shook the trees in their spots yet tamed the volcanoes with ease and then pretend it never even happened. To disappear ever so suddenly without a trace to track, to vanish into thin air. How could Cynthia possibly move on when the only person who somehow understood her without any hint of difficulty just left her like that, on her own? How could one ever leave a love so genuine, so quick and passionate in the matter of days?

Cynthia was sure something didn't add up.

But the latter said it himself; he craved attention, and attention only to fill that void inside his head unlike Cynthia's that ate from her own stomach till it grew inside of her and left her to starve with barely any space for air to breathe. Jade called it fatal ennui. Cynthia called it crippling anxiety. They weren't the same. The uncanny yet ever so perfect validation Jade received from the attention was all he longed for and desired deeply and Cynthia was no defier to that, she wasn't special, not at all, in fact, Cynthia was lost; lost and devastated, trapped inside what Jade called something as fragile as a bubble, world right before her eyes yet body too scared to guide her into the land of exploration and Jade was just empty, a body filled with nothing but air, no emotions or humanly feelings to be praised or frowned upon. It only made sense she just so happened to fall perfectly into the singer's trap. So really, to keep it short, Cynthia was a victim to Jade's malicious coping mechanisms and rotten facade.

But...

Something just didn't make sense and Cynthia could feel it in the way her saliva was starting to taste different or how her throat clogged up with a lump of unease. Something didn't click inside of her head the way it was supposed to...or, perhaps it did, but the sound it gave out failed to satisfy her.

Why did Jade give his all to pop that bubble of indestructible metal around Cynthia when in the end she remained deemed as something that wasn't worth a penny to him?

Jade's shiny eyes that seemed to glisten every time Cynthia was around swore he loved, his hands that knew and moved in places they shouldn't swore he loved, his lips that were as soft as sinking into a pillow, ones that molded against Cynthia's like no other swore he loved, his tongue that spoke those words of love swore he loved and his heart that raced under Cynthia's ear, it swore he loved...so how could his actions deny what every single part of his body said?

The air. It grew chilly around Cynthia's body and it aroused her skin with goosebumps.

She finally blinked.

Was it fall already? Was the summer finally departing to welcome the fall of the leaves and the crispness of the air? How could Cynthia not notice that her favorite season was finally peaking through when she was the first to anticipate the disappearance of the sun or the first rain accompanied by the weakest bit of cool air- maybe even the welcoming of the hand crocheted cardigans she loved so much?

Had she been that distracted by someone that was only infatuated with her unlimited affection and destructive attention? Busy being picked apart by those glistening yet deceiving eyes that promised more than they could ever offer? Sleepless with a train of thoughts wondering where she ever went wrong? Sinking into the deepest of oceans trying to prove herself worthy when that had been the only thing she was incapable of doing? Drowning because she knew she was put in slow motion while others were moving so fast before her eyes?