Milk.
Warm milk.
Must have it. Must find it. The deep ache starts to hurt. My mouth opens and there's no sound. My nose twitches. I smell milk. I sniff around, navigating the world around me. It's dark. Frightening. But I'm not scared. Not really. I feel warmth radiating from beside me. There's something there. My legs don't move as I want them to. I can only scoot. My twitching nose bumps into the warmth. It's solid. But it's moving! It's alive! I can smell milk, I can feel it running through the dark Warmth. I open my mouth and stick out my tongue, licking. I can taste something. It's soft. I taste something else. It's rough. Something tastes me. Only it's not tasting. It's cleaning. I feel clean. I feel safe.
I latch onto something small and milk flows. I scoot as close as I can. There are others with me. They bump into me and their noses run into my ribs. It tickles. Warm milk fills my stomach and I start to relax. Something keeps cleaning me and the Others. I can hear something but it's not very loud. I can hear a few things. A dull thudding. Deep and booming. I can hear flowing. Something wet. Something warm. I drink it hungrily, greedily. I'm starving. The others are hungry too. We're all hungry and competing for the food. Only there's enough for all of us, even if we don't know it yet.
I let go. I feel Something licking me again. Licking my face. I feel drops of warm milk cooling on my nose. It's still so dark. And cold. The milk warms me but it's not enough. I need Warmth. I stay as close as I can to the milk giver. Whatever must have given the milk must be cleaning me now. I wonder if it cleans the Others. The Others keep running into me. I'm kicked in the face more than once. I feel pain. I know what pain feels like. I open my mouth and still no noise.
Something is licking me underneath. I feel release. I feel wet. I scoot away from the Wet. I don't want to be near it. It smells bad. Nothing like the Milk. I find a dry spot. My nose touches Soft. My nose touches Warm.
I relax.
**********
I'm aware. I'm surrounded by warm Others. They're all full of milk, just as I am. We're all warm and safe and clean. The Wet is gone. Only dry Warmth. I feel the Deep Thrumming underneath the Soft Warm. I can hear it boom. It sounds familiar. It takes away my thoughts and I don't think for a long time. But now I'm thinking again. The Others feel quiet and steady. I don't think they're thinking right now.
I want Milk.
I open my mouth and latch onto the Rough. The Milk stirs and flows. I feel the Licks and the Nose buried into my back. Warm milk flows into me and the Deep Thrumming quickens. I feel safe. I feel warm. I feel...joy.
And when the Milk flows and the Warm licks, I feel love.
**********
After thinking and not thinking for a long time, and Milk and Warmth and Others, I begin to see. I see nothing. But it's not dark. I feel heavy. I can feel the Others against me, knocking into me. I knock into them. My mouth opens and I hear. I hear a squeak. I hear squeals. There are many of us. Many voices in the Not Dark. I hear another voice. It doesn't squeal but it calls. It calms. It loves. I love it.
More Milk.
The Others feel heavier too. We scoot around the world and bump into the ends of it. We bump into the Warmth and are rewarded with licks. We bump into each other and are punished with pain. I wish I could see.
More yips. More squeals. Demanding Milk. Demanding Warmth. Warmth finds us and cleans us. We latch. We push and we shove. Some of us start climbing over the Others. The Others are disturbed. My Milk is interrupted by a swift kick to my nose and I yelp. That's the loudest thing I've ever heard. My yelp.
